Discussion Group ~ September 6th 9pm EST/September 7th 0200 GMT

Our next discussion will be held Friday, 6th of September at 9:00 pm EST ~ Saturday 7th of September 0200 GMT hosted by Miss-Sett

Topic: is establishing discipline and effective punishment, from the perspective of both D/s. To consider both the physical and psychological aspects that can be adopted into the relationship.

We will meet in the chat room lobby and then move to a discussion room.

Anyone wishing to suggest a topic, please reply to this thread ~ we welcome all suggestions and participation.

See you there!!

Rules of discussion
1. No meeting/greeting each other after the discussion has started, period.
2. Serious replies please, with respect afforded to each other.
3. This is a discussion room, if people wish to chat or play, please return to the lobby.
4. No disrespectful language will be tolerated at all, nor will detrimental comments, each participant has an opinion. There are others present that wish to learn.

Suggestion for another topic next week:

The differences in emotional intention and physical implementation between Humiliation and Degradation. Two terms that are often used interchangeably or as always being linked, they're actually very different for a lot of people. Sometimes one is very desirable, but the other isn't, and it can be hard for some people, especially subs, to express exactly why it is that one appeals and the other doesn't, or even to clearly explain the line between the two.

As an example, calling a sub 'a slut', and calling him/her 'your slut' sound very similar, but can have very different meanings emotionally.

Summary of discussion 6th September 2013

The discussion commenced by defining the difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline was described as a form of training that would produce a desired outcome. Punishment was deemed to be a corrective method used to re-enforce this. Both D/s contribute to this dynamic through open communication.

Punishment was found in many forms, general consensus was that a ‘time out’ non communication appeared to be one of the most effective. However, sharing of personal experiences described the importance of setting a time limit on this. Failure to communicate a set time limit could/would cause unnecessary distress and may result in harming the dynamic, and in extreme cases actually push the other person away.

Open honest discussion either pre or post ‘time out’ was also described. Pre, used as used as a training or discipline tool to allow adjustment in behaviour to occur, insight and understanding of what was required but with a clear boundary set. Post time out discussion used to ensure that the sub fully understood why the punishment had been administered. In both cases the importance of after-care was indicated to settle the relationship and provide reassurance for both Dom/me and sub.

Different types of bratting were evident, the playful brat frequently enjoyed as part of the dynamic within the relationship. What was strongly evident was the role of communication as each partnership was unique. Also a level of understanding, when it was acceptable and when it was not, some described the pleasure gained from ‘acting’ playfully. This seemed to occur after training or discipline had been established within the dynamic, clear boundaries understood. Bratting for attention certainly was not acceptable to many and deemed tedious. Repeated action following punishment presented a sense of failure to control the power exchange and in extreme cases to actually dissolve the relationship as certainly a Dom/me would be left with a quandary of where they were failing within their own method of instruction/discipline or the sub would be left confused over what was actually being expected or desired making them unable to provide it. Again open communication and the relationship of growth featured as did discussion with others with more experience and knowledge.

Physical punishment to some was deemed important to some, spanking for mis-behaviour, however many deemed the act of spanking to be a reward for good behaviour as pleasure was derived for both D/s.

Overall, communication remains key point, the importance of after-care for both D/s either following punishment or play. There was a brief discussion surrounding sub space and experiences, some had experienced this others had not, so maybe a future topic for discussion.

Miss Sett {Kuve} and Miss Red