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Fellow Doms, the purpose of this thread is to hear your comments about what you do, or should do, when a sub fails to use her safeword, asks for more punishment, and you know she is risking serious injury. I'm looking for thoughts, not bluster, so take time to think before writing.
Top-Rock
Always keep the submissive's health in ind, even at the expense of her happiness. I can deal with a frustrated, healthy, unharmed submissive. A broken one is a little harder to live with. Besides, the explaining can be a pain in the ass.
I would personally find it very difficult to inflict serious damage on a sub.
She's given herself to you, she is "Your" responsibilty. Any Dom worth his salt will surely take that responsibilty seriously.
It doesn't take much common sense to realise when things have gone too far or are approaching the limits.
Some people prefer not to use safe words anyway - where does that leave them? It's trust and care we're talking about here.
Inflicting serious damage is the sign of either gross stupidity or having a "misunderstanding" of the person you may be with. They have given themselves up to your "care" and you should "care" for them.
Fantasy obviously fills the "extreme" void for most of us.
Those individuals who cause damage in real life, because they desire to, have a problem.
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Top-Rock
[B]Fellow Doms, the purpose of this thread is to hear your comments about what you do, or should do, when a sub fails to use her safeword, asks for more punishment, and you know she is risking serious injury.
A) Stop
B) Try to encourage her to seek out professional help -- just as you would help a child who was self-destructive. If you do nothing, and she suffers an even more serious injury (or worse) with someone else, how will you feel?
C) If she's your partner, I would suggest that you find a new, more stable partner to play with; this person is not, at present, capable of giving informed consent, any more than a girl who has been drugged.
Boccacccio
Never push too far. Even if you are begged for more. If your judgement or instincts tell you this is dangerous. STOP IMMIEDIATELY!!!
A sub places complete trust in their chosen Dom/me. It is the Dom/me' first and fore most responsibility to respect that. You must always maintain the safety and health of your submissive. Reguardless of any of their subspace induced emotions the sub may have, YOU have to stop!
Talk them down, explain Your actions and concerns to Your submissive. ONce out of subspace they may realise that they were putting themselves in harms way. Usually, this will spring a new wave of apreciation for You as their Dom/me. The trust of the submissive will grow for You and Your strength to know when to stop. For knowing them more than they themselves know themselves, most submissives will apreciate and admire You all the more for.
On the downside, if they will not see that it is the dom's responsibility to care for the sumissive and your judgement is final, as it is your responsibility for inflicting; be it pleasureable of injurous. IF this is the case, You must try to get them into some form of counseling, as has been mentioned before. Or, if this will not work, You must excersise the ultimate sacrifice for the sub's safety adn break off the relationship. This may sound cold, but it is the kindest thing You can do for both You and the sub.
Taking a submissive is a huge responsibility. But the submissive looks to You for support and protection. No matter what the sub may beg for. No reasonable submissive wishes serious, or permanent harm to thier person. Sometimes subspace may get so intense that a sub looses connection with thier surroundings. The most important part of those surroundings, is YOU, the one they have chosen to put all of thier faith and trust into. Keep your head clear and focused, and follow your judgement and instincts, always.
I had a sub who became so "engaged" in our activities and my commands that she essentially forgot everything except wanting more, and more. The first time this occurred, I did not recognize the danger and went further than appropriate (leaving a small but permanent mark that I had not intended). Afterwards I realized that the sub entered her zone and lost contact with the realities of our activities. This realization made me take my responsibility for her safety very seriously. Previously, I had assumed that she would "safeword" when activities became too challenging.
In hindsight, I recommend that you realize that the sub may not use her safeword. This places the FULL responsibility for her limits on you... and you must never lose sight of this when scening with her.
"Safe, Sane and consentual"
This fails to meet the criteria on many levels...
Sorry, this is just my opinion.
Kostly
I am not Dom, by nature. Nor am I even experienced, being a near virgin RL (Depends on your defination of oral sex.) But I have got to say that the answers to this post leave me hope for finding someone I can trust to be what I want them to be.
You all sound like you got your heads on straight.