Lilyfever(new to this.)Hoping to find some good advice please !

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Can you be a bit more specific? Advice about what?

S

Greetings to lilyfever and CyberSleuth- hope both of you get what you are looking for.

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Originally Posted by CyberSleuth

Can you be a bit more specific? Advice about what?

S

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Hi to CyberSleuth and Slaveboy. I have recently met online someone with whom I am embarking I on a real life dom/sub connection. Im just feeling a bit overwhelmed by the intensity of my feelings and reaction. I am terrified because i feel totalled enthralled to him and compelled. its like a high hyper-sexual state and warm and dreamy. I can think of nothing else but him. He checks out as a person visually, so im not being catfished, and we plan to meet in the next few weeks. Which excites me and terrifies me.I really do want to embark on this and he says he will help me explore what I want to be.But if I carry on like this I'm worried that I will get nothing done in life except waiting for him to speak to me. He is on my mind constantly. We can never marry, just meet, which is fine by me. But I'm worried that I feel as if I am in love with him already, how on earth am i going to cope with the rest of it, plus when it ends. Its ike I am brainwashed by his words and possessed. He is super intelligent which attracts me very much . is it normal to feel this way? He is not extreme S &M , which I do not want to do but its all very sexual which I want, with the added pain /pleasure factor to be explored (which does it for me.)I have asked him if he knows what he is doing in this process. he says he does. I have kindly been sent two email books by a kind member on here but there is not a lot on this topic. I really to do whatever he tells me to(but we have discussed limits) . its so Pavlovian , none of it makes sense. I can't eat or sleep properly, I just cant help it. I feel like a love sick fool but I would not say so, because Im sure he cannot feel that way.I have never felt like this before and im middle aged.Is it normal that he speaks and I am turned to jelly ?i'm aware that i feel a little bit controlled by him but powerless to resist and want to do what he asks. . I have always been level headed, and have never felt like this. I am worried my need for him exceeds his need for me. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I do not want to marry him or be 24/7 but how can I achieve some detachment from this mental state? I feel very vulnerable , like putty in his hands even now .

Hi, lilyfever.

First, welcome to the Library! This was a good site for you to find. You might want to search the forums (or the web) for a topic sometimes called sub-frenzy. When you're new to this lifestyle, it's much like discovering a whole new and wonderful world. It's common to become a bit obsessed by it all. Then, add all that lovely new relationship energy of 'clicking' with someone who seems so special. It's natural and exciting and more than a little bit terrifying.

i have three bits of advice for you, and all the best wishes in the world. First, and most important, talk to other subs. Here, through PMs or the chat room, on other sites, or in your local community. It's important to have a support network and a place to go for advice (or sometimes just a hug). This is more valuable than you can possibly imagine. Second, learn as much as you can. The forums here are no longer very active, but there's a wealth of information. Learn from the experiences of others. Somewhere, there's a list of books for beginners. There's also a very valuable thread about how to safely meet your Dom in person for the first time. Finally, and this is the hardest one, try to go slow and be patient. With yourself and with him. If you're new, you're bound to make mistakes. That's ok. Take your time and try not rush too fast. This is a wonderful journey, but it's best when you appreciate each and every bit of it.

You might want to check out the Fun & Games area, too. It's a no-pressure place to hang out and make friends. Feel free to drop me a note if i can be of any help.

chip