The appeal of dominating

Can someone explain how dominating or topping appeals to himself or herself? From your own perspective of course.

Me? I'm really not very dominant. I'm really new a this and so far I've been acting like more of a "service top". That term does not offend me. I want my wife to have a good time. I don't want to hurt her but I do want her to feel something. I want to raise endorphins. We both love nipple clamps. It turns me on that nipple clamps give her pain in just the right way. (Nipple clamps on me hurt so nice too!)
My wife has small and dainty hands. It seems dastardly of me to take her small pretty hands and tie them to the headboard but I want to tell you that it turns me on.

We have a soft and gentle flogger that she admits she likes. The idea that it hurts in just the right way turns me on. She does not like it on her back. Just her butt. So far so good for both of us.

We have a fur lined leather paddle, a riding crop and a stingy rubber multi-tail whip top crop. She does not really like any of those but she also does not NOT like them. She seems to be willing to let me hit her with them if she thought I would enjoy it (meanwhile I'm thinking that I want to hit her only if she likes it). What do you tops think? Do you think I have a chance at building up her endorphins so that the paddles and crops get to feeling good? I try to start out gently and build slowly. It would turn me on to deliver delicious torment.