Under New Management or Meeting A New Dom

Saracen asked me to post about us in the forums. We met through the BDSM chat and started talking on MSN. I choose him for many reasons but the main reason is he understands that trust has to be earned. He did not require that he had to be my master to start domming me. I am actually a little afraid but also excited. It is obvious that I will be learning about pain but he will take his time exploring this part of me. I didn't really realize how sexy he was until I reread the log. It made my heart pound. I am not sure if it was from excitement or fear or a little of both. I am not sure where this will go but I do know Saracen will take me to places I have only dreamed about in fantasies. Now whether I enjoy it or not will be another things all together. ;)

I can only thank my former master for the time and knowledge he gave me. Without him I would have never started my journey in the first place. I own him my sincere thanks for helping me out of my cage then showing me how to explore my needs and desires.

I will be starting a new journey now. I wanted to post something but will share more about our MSN conversations a little later. I do want to say that I found Saracen a patience, thoughtful and caring Dom but the bull dog clamp does have me terrified, which was probably his intent. LOL

Jade

Jade,

Congratulations on this new dom and in taking the next steps of your journey through submission.

You are such a prize catch, I'm sure that he will be very pleased and proud of your accomplishments.

Ruby
XXX 000

yay, my day has now become so bright ill need sunglasses :) im so thrilled to hear this....he better treat you well or ill introduce to him the horrer i so loved in dungeon keeper 2 :D

im looking forward to hearing more jade, your the gal!

Jade,

I am so happy for you. Your new Master is a very lucky Dom to have you to guide and teach.

I hope the fantasies you dreamed about will now come true.

Hugs and kisses to you. Enjoy your new adventure ;)

Caitlin

Great choice hon. Saracen is a fine person and I know you two will be very happy with each other. Trust has to be brought along slowly Emma

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jadetiger

Saracen asked me to post about us in the forums. We met through the BDSM chat and started talking on MSN. I choose him for many reasons but the main reason is he understands that trust has to be earned. He did not require that he had to be my master to start domming me. I am actually a little afraid but also excited. It is obvious that I will be learning about pain but he will take his time exploring this part of me. I didn't really realize how sexy he was until I reread the log. It made my heart pound. I am not sure if it was from excitement or fear or a little of both. I am not sure where this will go but I do know Saracen will take me to places I have only dreamed about in fantasies. Now whether I enjoy it or not will be another things all together. ;)

I can only thank my former master for the time and knowledge he gave me. Without him I would have never started my journey in the first place. I own him my sincere thanks for helping me out of my cage then showing me how to explore my needs and desires.

I will be starting a new journey now. I wanted to post something but will share more about our MSN conversations a little later. I do want to say that I found Saracen a patience, thoughtful and caring Dom but the bull dog clamp does have me terrified, which was probably his intent. LOL

Jade

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Ruby, Sir Lancelot, Caitlin and Emma. Thank you all for the congradulations.

I don't know about treating me right. LOL My first toy assignment was a zipper and I am still licking my wounds. I highly Do Not Recommend them. :p

A Zipper?

Okay, you know I'm just a mini-pain slut. That is way, way, way past my boundries and right up there with the evil steel cane!

How on Earth did you manage to get the zipper off?

Big hugs and kisses to all of you and your tender owies.

Ruby,
The task was to zipper both breasts and I completed the left and then the right by telling myself that I was the idiot that wanted to explore pain. It was a very good task. It made me realized that I was being way to anxious to learn and that I'm not ready for such advanced tasks. The doing the right breast really reinforced this in a big way. LOL

P.S. Coco butter really does help with the marks and bruising. I am starting to lean towards the mini pain slut side myself. whimper whimper ;)

Jade

Saracen tasked me with making a zipper then using it. First my left breast then my right. First my experience with making the zipper.

I will say it was stressful. I had the start over a few times before I finally got it completed. It took me 4 hours to make it and it didn’t really turn out well. It is my firm belief that the Dom should have to make the toys that he will use to torture his sub with, that way at least he gets to feel some of the pain.

Saracen had stated to start at the nipple and work my way out in a spiral then once complete to pull them off like a zipper. He said to start with the left breast first then to do the right breast.

I started with my left breast placing the peg on my nipple. It was already sore from our nipple play from the night before. I realized that I may fail the task. My nipple hurt and I didn’t think I could keep the peg on it for long. I started attaching the other pegs as fast as I could gritting my teeth as the pain in my nipple keep growing. I stopped for a second and took a couple of deep breaths to try and relax a little. My hands where trembling so bad from the pain that I was having a hard time handling the pegs. I tried to focus and grabbed the next peg to continue. It took what seemed like forever to get them on. I realized then that I was not at all turned on by the pain and that I really didn’t like this at all. I knew the worst was yet to come when I got to the end and had the pull the string. As I pulled the pegs off there was a feeling of bruised and torn skin. I kept telling myself that I was the stupid one who wanted to explore pain. By the time I got to the nipple I hated the zipper and was extremely unhappy with myself for not realizing what kind of pain the zipper was going to cause. I pulled the last peg off. I have to admit that I was pleased with myself for not saying all the bad words I was thinking in my mind out loud.

The right breast was even harder to peg. My fingers just didn’t want to work. I stopped trying to make it look like a spiral and just concentrated on getting the damn pegs on so I could get it over with. I knew then I was not a true pain slut and torture was really something that did not turn me on but I would finish my Dom’s task. Saracen deserved my best effort. When I started pulling of the pegs I realized what a silly child I was in regards to the BDSM world. I now have an even deeper respect for those would can endure this kind of pain because I am not one of them. I resisted the urge to throw the zipper in the trash and instead put it in a drawer as a reminder of all the things it taught me about myself.

I have to thank Saracen for my task. It open my eyes to many things about myself I did not know. I do have a very strong submissive nature that forces me to want to complete my tasks to serve my Dom. That I am not a pain slut in any sense of the word, as I understand it. Pain does not turn me on nor is it a mental challenge for me. I truly felt stupid for continuing my task and the only thing that made me complete it was the fact that I wanted to earn Saracen’s respect.

New Jade motto: Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.

Jade

Jade,

You honor us with another lesson learned and much wisdom in your post.

I, too, believe that a dom/domme should experience - as much as they can - what they want their subs to experience.

Let's face it, a male dom isn't going to be able to test a product for clits on himself. :-)

However, if he wants to use the evil steel cane on my butt, he can have it used on his first, anytime! :-[

So mini-pain slut versus big pain slut. There is a big difference.
I like enough pain to add spice to the play, but the marks, pain, etc, need to go away when the playtime is over. And I do mean the pain, not that nice tingling feeling that you keep with you cause you've been all sensitized.

Just looking at the zipper makes me want to run and hide.

You are so brave!

Ruby
XXX 000

Ruby,
Thank you. I have learned a lot about myself. Saracen's taking me as a sub has me very excited. I have an extremely unusual drive to do as he commands and to please him. All I have to do is look at the marks on my breasts to know this is true. I have never had such a strong reaction to please a Dom before and I realize I need to temper this just a little bit. I believe I have been a little to enthusiastic in my need to prove myself a worthy sub to him. I am extremely new to this and need to take it a little slower. I guess I could blame it all on Saracen by saying that his style of domination triggers a strong submissive reaction in me but we all know that a submissive can take back control anytime they need too. The fact that Saracen’s see my submission as a gift only make me want to serve, please and submit to him even more. I have never felt so connected to my submissive side before and it is a gift that Saracen gave to me.

Hugs,
Jade

Well, Jade,

You do present an interesting challenge to me.

I had certainly not intended that you would attempt a zipper on top of already painful nipples from the previous night - in which you exceeded all I asked of you.

A day's wait would not have been at all amiss! And to continue with the second zipper - well, you even have me frightened by your strength of purpose!

Nevertheless, you successfully completed your task, and in so doing have hugely impressed me.

As I say, a difficult challenge - I too must be more careful, in future tasks, lest your desire to serve overrides your own body's capacity to handle what we are jointly asking of it.

Consider me slightly chastened, also, and carefully considering our next steps together...

...that blend of challenge, pain and pleasure that should so delight us both in future

Saracen

Sir,
Thank you for your praise and please do not be concerned. I must admit that I was shock by my need to submit and please you. It was extremely strong and was the only reason I could complete the task. It was the purest form of submission I have ever felt and was a wonderful gift. I am sitting here thinking I will type that you should not worry. That I will be more conscious of my actions in the future. The truth is you have awakened such strong submissive response in me that it is a promise I may not be able to keep at present. It is such a wondrous feeling that I don't even know how to explain it. I know it has made me very happy but I do need to come back down to earth. I am strong and smart so I will be able to adjust. The scene was intense but more so on an emotional level for me. I am sorry that I'm a challenge and a bit of headache at times.

Jade

Thank you for the task Sir. It has openned so many doors that where closed.

Jade,
I have had the pain of the zipper in a task that was in the ST. I know how painful and agonizing it is. I am very impressed with your eagerness to perform, but yet I was worried that you had no idea of what your were getting yourself into. I am so proud that you have completed your task, and with no complaints, only soreness and a new insight to your submissive self. Hold you head proud, and as we see Sir S, is very proud, and consenous of you needs, how he needs to proceed. Lovely job, and very very impressive. I have mine at the bottom of a drawer as a reminder of how much i hate the zipper.

Sir Saracen,

I admire your courage to post to giving Kudos,praise and atta girls! And yet admit that you are far more aware of Jade's submissive side and to protect her from any damage. Further more that Jade could impress you!! Thank you for being what seems to be a great start for you two.
(btw, don't hurt our Jade, we will come and find you-just kidding)

I will await your next adventure with baited breath, as i love a great story unfolding before my very eyes.

Warmly
T

WB,
You are so sweet and yes I am proud. It is also nice to know you have little tiger in you too. You are adorable.


Bug Hugs,
Jade

Jade,

You are such an adventurous spirit. Those who know you, can't help but love you. Enjoy your journey, with Saracen. ;) I like a woman who can keep a Dom on his toes.

Caitlin

Caitlin,
LOL From where I'm standing it seems to be I'm the one on their tiptoes. :p

Hugs,
Jade

Saracen and I found some time tonight. I was not expecting to talk to him until Monday. I had to begged and pleaded so he would let me wear the bulldog clamps. Sometimes I think I'm a totally different person when I am with him. I knew he wanted me to and I needed to do it for him. Maybe it was the fact that we haven't talked all week. I spent most of the week thinking about when I would have to wear the clamps and I just had to wear them for him. I got the impression that my begging pleased him. You know I really should feel humiliated but I don't. He let me wear them so in away I won. Strange way to look at it after you have one of those clamps attached to your nipple but I begged again so he would let me put one on the other nipple. Each time was for a count of 15. I was even more pitiful when I was begging to wear them both at the same time. I can’t believe I told him I had to have it and that I desperately needed it but the truth is I did. Saracen let me wear them for a count of 30. Saracen said that was enough but I wanted more. Luckily I needed to put the baby to bed so it saved me from groveling to be tortured more. I don’t know what it is but I feel like I can almost anything when he is around. Pain wise that is. I know it is not true but he does make me feel that way. I am sure we will be working on other things that will not be so exciting to me and Saracen did say it would not be so pleasant as time passes. I know he is telling the truth but even that excites me.

Jade,

* hugs *

I have those clamps sitting right beside me, and never thought of them in those terms. Now every time I pick one up, I’ll think of you, the above post, with a smile on my face. :D :D

Lucky Saracen, in terms of your need to please him, the fact you begged for the clamps to go on your nipples (all the while knowing that is where he wanted them to go)

:dunno: And what is with this begging, pleading, and LOL grovelling. Gorvelling? Jade grovelling. Makes me wonder what it is with Saracen that can make the Jade I know grovel ;)


I’m glad that you have the ability to talk and discuss with Saracen, and that he is considerate, patient and understanding of you. Keep the channel of communication open. He wont know how you feel, if you don’t tell. If you don’t tell, he can’t help.

Hugs and kisses
Caitlin

To all the wonderful people who are helping me to grow and who are helping me understand what being submissive is all about.

Ladies, I really do love and treasure you all. Specially hug t you all for helping me to understand what kind of love it is: a perfect example of a sub's devotion, worship and love for their master.

WB,
I wish that was true. My threshold to pain is not amazing. I realized after the task was done that I was taking the pain to impress Saracen. I wanted him to think I was special and that I would do it for him and him alone. It seems my heart has already chosen Saracen as my Dom.

Caitlin,
Yes you are right but you already knew that. I do consider Saracen my Dom. My need to give him what I think he wants out weighs even logic at times. I will leave those concerns for Saracen to deal with because I am having enough problems dealing with myself. He will have the control so I need to give him my trust. Someone has to keep a level head on their her shoulders because it is not going to be me. LOL

Alura,
Yes it is turning out to be a big surprise to me too. I really don’t think I am that much into pain. I think my problem is I think Saracen is and I want to please him. The need to please him is so very strong. When I do a task for him I get a kind of power knowing I am doing something for him. It gives me strength to over come the pain, fear and also makes me horny as hell. Sometimes I am to scared and the emotions are to high for me to complete a task. I am trying to get a better handle on that. It distresses Saracen to see me cry. Saracen was so understanding that it made me feel bad to be acting so silly. If it wasn’t the support I constantly get. I would have run by now.

Ruby,
You always touch my soul with your words and love. You always address the logical side of me so I can understand how naturally my feelings really are. Yes I was feeling guilty about having such intense feelings for Saracen. I really don’t know what type of love we are talking about. I have never felt this was before. I want him to think I am special, I want him to be proud of me, I want him to know I will always do my best to please him, I want him to know that what he is giving me is filling an empty void deep inside and I want him to know he is the only one who makes me feel this way. Please if someone knows what kind of love it is tell me because the emotions are so strong and intense that I can’t put a name on it.

Sorry Ruby. I am being dramatic. I couldn’t do a task for Saracen today and started crying. I have never felt so ashamed as I did at that moment. I never wanted him to see my tears. I really wanted him to think I was strong enough to do whatever he asked.

So I guess I need to talked about my day. LOL Need a little break first then I will let everyone know what I have up too. Coffee, coffee and more coffee.

Damn I am out of Kleenex.

Hugs and Kisses,
Jade

I cannot even explain how happy I am at the moment. Although I was not able to perform all of Saracen's tasks in preparation for our day together he was not angry with me. I did masturbate on Sunday twice and once early this morning. I normally do not orgasm so his command not to cum was easy to follow but I could not fantasize about him like I wanted to.

I have a phobia about being hit and even a bigger one about hitting myself. My first reaction was to my new toys. The paddle and whips. Saracen was great in telling me how to them so I wouldn't be so afraid. He did this last week.

I was really scared he would ask me to use them for our session today. I was even blaming Saracen a little for things he knew nothing about. I was in a big panic about it last night and not feeling at all submissive. You must all understand that I bought these toys all by myself. Saracen did not request that I get any of them. I bought things I thought Saracen would like and he did approve of my choices. My friends helped me through the panic and made me realize that I did trust Saracen to help me through whatever he requests of me.

Dealing with past abuse is always hard but I knew I could do it if Saracen helped. I was even cocky enough to mention that I was no longer riding high on my submissive cloud anymore. With shock and joy I realized I was wrong as soon as he typed hello. The need to serve and please him washed over me again. It is strange but it is kind of like being filled with power. All the things I had been worrying about seemed to disappear. I knew I could almost anything he asked me too.

The binding my breasts, wearing the nipple weights and wearing the gag ball was extremely easy for me to do for Saracen. But I couldn't believe that I did everything else he asked as well. I hit myself with the paddle, I masturbated while he watched, I even showed him my body (although he did let me keep some of me covered) and I came for him while he watched me. All of these things are things I never thought I could do for Saracen.

I will have to admit I was so hot that I took the paddle and my electric toothbrush to the bedroom. I place a couple of clothespins on my nipples and spread my legs wide while I pretended Saracen was whipping my pussy with the paddle. I could only strike myself 5 times then I masturbated again. I came so hard. I pretended that I was punished for cumming without permission. Five more strikes on my pussy and five on my inner thigh. By the way that hurts even if you aren't hitting hard. So my fantasy continue with Saracen's commanding me to masturbate and not cum which was very hard to do at this point. He tormented me by pulling on the clothespin, trying to force me to orgasm again with the pain. By the way ladies this is when I started begging my fantasy Saracen to cum. My very kind Master let me several times. I am still boiling inside but I do not want Saracen to worry about me hurting myself so I have put the toys away.

The fantasy is a gift for you Master since I was unable to do it early.

I only wish I had a camera in the bedroom so you could see what you did to me and the freedom you gave me today.

Thank You Master

Your sub Jade

Jade,

It's so beautiful to watch your progression. You're so willing to discover even that you don't care for an activity. Your openness and honesty in seeking leaves me in awe.

xo
os

Jade,

it seems I have been as controlling of you after the fact, as I was during your session! Your fantasy seems an accurate portrayal of how your session might have continued, under my guidance.

You were magnificent today, in submitting to all that I asked of you, and have once again made your Master very proud!

I shall have to give some thought to what I permit you to explore in my absence; but for today, your further exploration is to your credit, and will undoubtedly give you increased confidence for next time we meet....

Rest now, my girl, and let your body, heart and mind grow stronger!

Saracen.

Master,
Thank you for not being mad at me for using your toys without your premission. I have put them away and will not use them again unless I have your premission. My ability to have fanatasies seems to have been resolved also. :D


Thank you Master.

Your Jade

Jade,

What a difference a day makes. I'm smiling at the enthusasim at which you described your tasks. It sounded like a hot hot hot ecperience.

I've enjoyed watching you grow and blossom, and have learnt many things from you along the way.

It's amazing the feelings, when you see a simple 'Hello' typed. You know he is there for you, and instantly you feel that connection, and many doubts and insecurities we hold are washed away.

Hugh and kisses
Caitlin

Jade and Saracen,

Thank you both for continuing to be shining examples to those of us who wish to experience what you have and those of us who live vicariously through you.

With every post, I learn something new about myself, remember things I don't want to forget and am awed by the personal growth that Jade is so kind to share with the forums.

What a difference a day makes, indeed. ;)

Ruby
XXX OOO

Orchidsoul, Caitlin and Ruby,
Yes it was a wonderful day. I have also taken all your advice and started talking to Saracen as you suggested. He can't help guide me if he doesn't know what I am thinking and why. I told him the feelings behind the Yes Master today. It just was so much easier to just say Yes Master than open up. I did today and he did not get mad or angry. I'm sure he was surprised to find that the Yes Master had anger behind it. Not at him but anger that I didn't know if I could successfully do his task alone. I am a chicken. I think of the worst possible pain and feelings just so I can prepare myself to take it then deep inside I pray that I am wrong. Not talking only increases my fears of pain as well as my fear of failing Saracen. By the way ladies he still left me squirming over the new toy I will buy but I now know I will not be alone when I use them. Doms really do have an evil streak. He has my full attention and focus, which was his plan all along. :D

It is so strange to me this feeling I get with Saracen. I have never felt it before. I have played with many Dom's and while I respect many of them and even have been excited by the time I spent with them nothing compares to the submissive mind set I transform into when Saracen is with me. I find myself telling or giving him ideas when I know I should keep my mouth shut. :confused:

I do not believe Saracen's needs my help in coming up with tasks that he would like for me to perform. The ideas are not even ones that I think I will like either. They are ones that I think Saracen would be interested in seeing his sub perform. I really gave it some thought. I do believe PE was right when he say I am a lost woman. Why else would I be trying to keep Saracen's interests by making suggestions that scare the shit out of me. I do have it bad but isn't that what submission is about. Wanting to please someone else without tempering it for your own purposes or needs.

I feel much closer and safer in Saracen's care. I realize that he has an evil sense of humor, which I find very attractive. He has no problem giving his sub enough rope to hang herself or in our case to tie herself up with. My trust is growing with each word he types even when he is teasing and scaring me. But I really should learn to keep my mouth shut or I may have to learned it by sore body parts. ;)

Saracen's sub,
Jade

Perhaps it's best to open mouth and insert a toy. ;)

Evil Ruby very evil. He doesn't need any ideas from you. :p

Jade, it's your mouth, and your inability to still it that makes you so loveable.

Quote:

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I realize that he has an evil sense of humor, which I find very attractive.

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That sounds so moth to the flameish. ;) :D

I'm glad you were able to open up to Saracen. I'm also glad that he listened.

What is the use in communicating to someone, when the person were talking to doesn't listen, or is nonreceptive, or uninterested in what we have to say.

Now that you have opened this communication flow, don't shut it down. If something is bothering, or worring you, talk to him, and/or us. Don't digress back into the shadows. You have come too far for that.

Hugh and kisses
Caitlin