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I've been interested (obsessed) with bondage for longer than I'd care to admit. The D/s thing is a more recent addition for me.
In recent years my fantasies & my D/s play seem to be getting more gentle. More into blusher brushes than whips. :whip2:
My idea of torture is to say 'hmm- not sure whether to let you have an orgasm or not?'
How have your own tastes changed? More violent, less- the same? I used to be a sub in my younger days- couldn't imagine it now! :dont:
Tojo
I'm becoming more open minded about punishment (LIGHT) but other then that...in the 3 months I've known about BDSM...no my tastes haven't changed all that much lol.
I'm not sure whether my tastes have changed or whether I'm just finding out new things that I like as I go along. To me it's a different thing whether I hated being smacked before and then grow to like it...or that I didn't even THINK about it before and now find myself loving it. And the latter has been the case for me in most BDSM related stuff.
On definite change of taste *chuckles* and I mean taste literally...has been for my own juices. ;) I used to hate the thought of it...then hated the taste of it....and now I really like it. *grins*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silke
DITTO
i agree exactly!Quote:
Originally Posted by Silke
i am constantly amazed at how my thoughts have changed as we have grown in this lifestyle and in our relationship. of course, there are still many things that i have hard limits about and am still not interested in trying but there are also some things that i didn't think i would like, that when i was willing to try them, i discovered were very enjoyable - spanking for instance.
i think that it is normal for one's tastes to change as we grow as individuals and with our partners. i'm looking forward to what other changes will come in time!:p
My tastes have changed over the years. When I first began it was all about the bondage then as time passed my interests went to pain and humiliation. Now my primary interest seems to be just the control. The activities don't seem to matter as much as that the activity is being done because I say so. Make sense?
Makes perfect sense to me Aesop.
Tojo
My tastes have been getting more extreme and broadening as time goes by and I slowly get to try the things i've only heard about before.
A year ago I would have called myself submissive, but i'd never tested it very much and i would never have said I was masochistic.
6 months ago I was getting more and more curious about my masochistic side and had done some more experimenting with the whole D/s thing.
Almost 1 month ago I had my best experience to date, which involved me being spanked with a sandal(all that was handy) until I was sobbing. Since then belts and wooden spoons have come into play. (we're cheap)
Another changing taste that I never would have expected from myself is a desire to experiment with D/s in a wider context, aka not entirely in the bedroom. It's not something I can really imagine doing with the guy I currently play with, but maybe someday...
Yes. My tastes have changed..."My mind has been expanded..."
I'm willing to try more things.
I've also come to enjoy bondage without the bondage. That is mental bondage, where the sub must stay in place because if his/her master's command. To move, the sub must ask permission and it's not always granted.
There is a wonderful erotic quality to D/S play.
In the words of Janet, Magenta and Columbia
... from the Rocky Horror Picture Show
Janet Weiss
I thought there's no use getting
Into heavy petting
It only leads to trouble
And seat wetting
Now all I want to know
Is how to go
I've tasted blood and I want more
Magenta and Columbia More, more, more!
Janet Weiss
I'll put up no resistance
I want to stay the distance
I've got an itch to scratch
I need assistance
Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
I wanna be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me
Creature of the night
Then if anything grows
While you pose
I'll oil you up
And rub you down
Magenta and Columbia Down, down, down!
Janet Weiss
And that's just one small fraction
Of the main attraction
You need a friendly hand
And I need action
Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
I wanna be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me
Creature of the night
Columbia Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
Magenta I wanna be dirty
Columbia Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me
Magenta Creature of the night
Janet Weiss
Oh, touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
I wanna be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me
Creature of the night
Yes, I love to make a sub hold a particular position, maybe she has to grasp her ankles to maintain it... with clear consequemces for letting go.
Gotta love Rocky Horror Picture Show
verra kewl Ruby
That's what I'm talking about! Whew!Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
Or the sub having to ask (beg) permission to touch his/her partner's ____ fill in favorite body part, with the partner withholding that permission or letting the sub come near their goal. It's a fun tease that keeps play time sizzling. Of course, the dom has to know when to give in.
Oh yeah that 'mental bondage' can be really powerful.
Tojo
Sit!!!
How have my tastes changed? Thats a good question that I will reveal here, that I havent really put down for anyone until now.
When I first started with BDSM, being interested in it, It was erotica, not movies or pictures at all. Pure and simple art of words. I enjoyed the mental picture the author could paint for me. The idea of a woman being controlled, being used, being molded to my will was a turn on beyond belief. There were many different variaties that I found interesting that the author would subject the female "victim" to during the course of the story. Some I found highly erotic, others, that held no interest for me what so ever. This is relevent now cause it relates to my tastes.
When I started reading about the dynamics of BDSM, and what was involved, outside of the world of erotica. Thats when my tastes in particular activties was started. I found the idea of having a woman kneel before me, asking my permission to do said activity very appealing. However since I had not met my mate at that point, I didn't have any way to judge how to deliver what I was interested in. So my tastes for BDSM rested mostly in a Ds aspect. I hadn't yet experienced the thrill one gets when the submissive gives up the power of choice and leaves that to you the Dom.
So my interested started with the simple activity of power exchange, the ability to tell her when to kneel when to stand, when to sleep, when to cook, when to change clothes, or not wear clothes. What to wear to bed. Things have escalated from there however. My "interests" were always in the realm of asphyxia, and knife play. So as we have progressed in our relationship, and the trust between us has become unquestioning. We have been able to dwell in those activities that require a deeper trust between play partners.
I began my journey in the activites of pain/pleasure play with simple flogging, administering a rythmic impact with a soft tailed flogger was easy to learn, and when mistakes were made resulted in little or no unwanted pain by my partner. I then migrated to heavier floggers, crops and canes. All used during a rythmic beating to some sort of music such as Enigma, or Enya. I developed my use of the flogger to the point I began to become bored with the activity, it was becoming the same thing everytime. So became mundane, and mundane just wont do.
Moving along in my journey of interests I began to play with asphyxia, I read every story, every website, every book I could find on the subject. Read all the cautions, warnings and notes. I then started slow experimentation with my partner, building up duration and intesity to a point we both enjoy, and crave even now. During that same time, I started a fasination with knives, or other items of mid-evil tortue. Enjoying the history of them, and playing with my partners mind about the possiblity of using them on her. Aside from the battle axe that is. Daggers being my choice weapon. I began my journey of knife play. Also reading about all the cautions warnings and notes for that as well. I now can, as my submissive put it, make love to the submissive with just the tip of a blade. Drawing the submissive into a level of subspace that she hadn't had without impact play prior to that.
Just very recently I have started with ropes. My skill with knots being rather poor at best. So now we enjoy experimenting with that. Incorperating the other aspects of our play in it as well.
Thats the SM side of our BDSM play. The Ds, and humiliation aspect that can be done has been rather constant it seems. Employing that at irregular times to keep it from becoming mundane and routine.
What I have learned most of all is, if it's not fun. Why the fuck am I doing it.
V/R
ID
I've always been somewhat fascinated by bondage, but, until recently, it'd never progressed beyond your basic fur-lined cuffs and a few strategically used scarves or neckties. That's not as satisfying to me anymore. I want more.
While I respect the D/s relationship that a lot of people around here have, it's not something I'd do on a regular basis, mostly because it just doesn't interest me. I'm an occasional BD kind of girl and I'm happy to stay that way.
To some extent, I worry about getting more involved in bondage, simply because I don't want to ever get to the point where I need it to be able to enjoy sex. We jokingly ask each other, "OK, do you want vanilla, chocolate, or reverse peanut butter cup?" For us, a balance is important. Sex is something that draws us closer as a couple, no matter if it's a quickie in the middle of the day or a weekend-long scene.
I think that we've talked about sex more since we've started doing more BD stuff than we ever did before that, and we've been together more than ten years. I think that's been a really positive aspect to this. Since I've started reading the forums here and the story library, I've started becoming more vocal about what I'd like to try, testing my soft limits a little more now and then. But it's still important to me to have the slow, romantic "love-making" and the quickie during the commercials while we're watching TV.
I'm hitting the age where my sex drive is picking up some before I hit the eventual downfall that menopause brings. My SO has been very happy lately. *nudge nudge wink wink*
Changing tastes... well, considering that I've been *really* interested in bondage from age 16 to 26, I should hope my tastes have become a bit more sophisticated!
Probably the biggest thing I've learned as a sub is the line between fun control and annoying control. Things that sound fun to me in fantasy--a master picking out my clothes, monitoring my bank account, or making me ask permission to use the bathroom--actually just irritate me in real life. I definitely prefer the explicitly sexual to the mundane, although a few hours or a day of "mundane" D/s could be an interesting experience.
The biggest change in my tastes is my fairly recent interest in being a Domme. I thought I didn't have an ounce of it in me, but the more I've learned about myself, the more I've found switching to be a good way to explore both sides of the coin.
The most recent development, and something I'm still working on, is the acquired taste for semen. I have to be in just the right mindset to swallow without gagging, but damn, I've never wanted so much to do something so simple! It's getting better all the time...
Yes, a good point. When I first discovered BDSM, a kind and very knowledgeable dom told me: "In this lifestyle, you never stop learning about yourself." At the time, I didn't really understand what he meant, but I do now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Silke
My tastes seem to have changed drastically but there is little I can do about it. I used to just fantasize about bondage and being restrained. Now I think about things like OTK spanking, being paddled, caned, CBT, NT, and dildo/strap on training. These are thoughts that never would have been in my mind as recently as 1 month ago. Have my tastes really changed or have I learned about things I never knew and now want to try? I'm not sure I can honestly answer that. Also I'm not sure that I would want to experiment with these things more than once.
Have my tastes changed? Also recently I have found myself thinking about using some of these ideas on a lovely lady where I would be the one in control. Never dared to even imagine that before because of my submissive tendencies.
Have my tastes changed or am I evolving? I don't honestly know. I will continue to use this forum to aid me in my quest for knowledge and ideas.
Much from the start of this adventure that started when I found my dad's S/M books. Reading was all I wanted till my 40's then I started writing and that was enough till I joined the Academy. (4 months ago)Quote:
Have my tastes changed?
I find now that I crave the physical and mental challenge. Tell me what to do.
When Master gets that gruff tone in his voice and tells me to do something. Ohhhhh. Mess with my mind. Make me think.
I'm starting to crave the discomfort and pain, I can feel a tingle across my shoulders and back craving my Masters touch. Someday I'll step from self manipulation to someone else’s hands on my body. I can feel it moving closer.
Oh my, fanning her face. So hot. Definetly a story in the making. SmilesQuote:
Originally Posted by IDCrewDawg
sbbe(MK)
I very much appreciate the compliment. However my gramar and spelling are so atrocious(this would be one example), that I think it would be distracting to the reader.:tyQuote:
Originally Posted by StillBehindBlueEyes
Heh, me too. The thought of it used to disgust me, then sometime last year I got involved with an American Mistress online, she would sometimes make me masturbate for her and then drink my own cum, I haven't used tissues since!Quote:
Originally Posted by Silke
I was made to do other things I wouldn't have previously dreamed of aswell, like having something inserted in my arse, or in this case - inserting it myself. That took more effort on her part as it was something I thought I was fundamentally opposed to, and I never got off on doing it, though I did get off on doing it for her, or anything else for that matter eventually. So no my tastes didn't change in that case but my boundaries were definitely stretched, I now know that's something I'm capable of doing without damaging myself as a person, and although it's not something I would do freely, I could and would for the right person.
On the other side of things; I used to like to control sex, to have someone do what I told them to, I've been dominating women in bed since long before I discovered BDSM. Now that's not enough, it's not a challenge to simply have someone do what you say. It has to be a certain type of person, strong-willed, selective, knows what they want. Now the kick of it all is getting that type of person to want to do everything I say, for all the 'right' reasons.
Have my interests changed?
I'm still new to all of this but I have to say yes. I started out reading erotica over the years and choosing my preferences according to what turned me on. Frankly, the harder the better. Now that my sub wife and I are starting the journey down this road I'm learning what works in my head doesn't always work in real life. Mostly due to my wife's limits but I love and respect her so I hold back and accept that she isn't me. I also realize that she will change too as she grows in the lifestyle. So part of this is acceptance of the circumstances and part is patience. She has alot of hangups but we'll work through some and some will just be "hell no". It should be a great journey.