Sexual Fantasy

This post is based on the article "Sexual Fantasy" that was published in Psychological Bulletin, Volume 117(3) May 1995 p 469–496 and is written by Harold Leitenberg and Kris Henning.

I have read it few years back, and thought you may find it interesting. I would love to hear your thoughts on this...


Leitenberg and Henning claim that there appear to be some notable differences in the content of sexual fantasies of men and women.
Men's fantasies are more active and focus more on the woman's body and on what he wants to do to it, whereas women's fantasies are more passive and focus more on men's interest in their bodies.
Men's sexual fantasies also focus more on explicit sexual acts, nude bodies, and physical gratification, whereas women use more emotional context and romance in their sexual fantasies. Men are more likely to fantasize about multiple partners and group sex than are women.

Finally, women are more likely to have submission fantasies, whereas men are more likely to have dominance fantasies, although both types of force fantasies may indirectly be serving the same purpose: affirming sexual power and irresistibility.

That women commonly experience sexual fantasies in which they are forced to submit sexually was first made clear in the Hariton and Singer (1974) study.
In a sample of 141 married women, these investigators found that, of the 15 fantasy items used, the theme of being overpowered was the second most frequent sexual fantasy reported during sexual intercourse.

Other studies have since confirmed that fantasies of being overpowered or forced to have sex (so-called “rape” fantasies) are, indeed, not unusual in women. For example, Knafo and Jaffe (1984) found that, of the 21 fantasies listed, the one that was reported to occur most frequently during intercourse by women in their sample was “I imagine that I am being overpowered.” This was the fourth most frequent fantasy during masturbation and the fifth most frequent fantasy during nonsexual activity. Davidson and Hoffman (1986) found that the fantasy of “being forced to sexually surrender by an acquaintance” was the seventh most preferred fantasy of the women in their sample. Similarly, Crepault et al. (1976) found that, for women, “being overpowered and forced to surrender while being tied up” was the seventh most frequent fantasy of the 31 listed. Pelletier and Herold (1988) reported that 51% of their female sample had experienced fantasies of being forced to submit sexually. When S. Fisher (1973) asked 40 married women to provide at least two examples of fantasies they had on at least several occasions during intercourse, about 20% of the fantasies reported involved being raped or humiliated. Talbot, Beech, and Vaughn (1980) and Kanin (1982) both reported that 29% of the female participants in their samples had experienced sexually arousing submission fantasies. Arndt et al. (1985) found that 30% of their female sample had the fantasy “I'm a slave who must obey a man's every wish,” and 22% had the fantasy “I'm made to suffer before a man will satisfy me sexually.”

Although men more frequently than women have sexual fantasies of overpowering their partner (see next post), they also have erotic fantasies in which they are submissive to dominant women (Grendlinger & Byrne, 1987).
Nonetheless, comparison studies tend to show that submission fantasies are more common in women.
That some women derive pleasure from submission fantasies is, of course, controversial. It unfortunately feeds into the myths that women want to be raped and enjoy being raped. In fact, women who find submission fantasies sexually arousing are very clear that they have no wish to be raped in reality (Kanin, 1982). In addition, erotic fantasies about being overpowered by a man are very different from real rape (Bond & Mosher, 1986). In the fantasy, women are in perfect control over what takes place, whereas the reverse obviously is true in actual rape. The imagined violence is much less, they do not experience physical pain, and they know they actually are safe and do not have to fear for their lives. Bond and Mosher (1986) further pointed out that the typical female erotic rape fantasy involves imagining a sexually attractive man whose sexual passion is irresistibly stimulated by the woman's sexual attractiveness. In the fantasy, the man uses just enough force to overcome her token resistance and to arouse her sexually. They found that women responded much more negatively to a realistic rape scene than they did to an erotic rape scene.

Several different explanations have been offered to account for submission fantasies in women. Perhaps the one first offered by Hariton (1973) has the most intuitive appeal. She suggested that, in many ways, these submission fantasies are actually fantasies of sexual power rather than weakness because the woman perceives herself to be so desirable that the man cannot resist or help himself. In the fantasy, the woman imagines enjoying submitting to the man's force, so it is done for her pleasure. In other words, it could be argued that the rape fantasy is just another example of the affirmation of sexual power–irresistibility theme so common in sexual fantasies involving seduction, group sex, exhibitionism, and the like.
Another common explanation is that a woman raised in an environment with sexual prohibitions can feel blameless if the sexual behavior and stimulation she imagines are not her doing (Knafo & Jaffe, 1984). This is especially true if the imagined sexual behavior is considered socially unacceptable (e.g., sleeping with a close friend's spouse, a lover's best friend, or someone she hardly knows). If a woman imagines being forced to engage in what is considered improper sexual behavior, she may feel less guilty about it and, as a result, enjoy the fantasy more.
Moreault and Follingstad (1978) reported data consistent with this hypothesis. In a sample of 90 female college students, these investigators found that participants who scored high on a measure of general sex guilt were more likely than low-guilt participants to report having had fantasies of being overpowered, being forced to surrender, and being dominated sexually while helpless. High-guilt participants also more frequently had the fantasy “I am so beautiful that men cannot resist me.” On the other hand, Pelletier and Herold (1988), in a slightly older sample of female college students, did not find that high-guilt participants were any more likely than low-guilt participants to have submission fantasies.
A third explanation has been provided by feminist writers such as Brownmiller (1975). She has suggested that women have been so conditioned by the male dominant culture that they have come to accept male sexual aggression and female sexual subjugation. In fact, the media often eroticize female sexual submission, and repeated exposure to such imagery may contribute to the prevalence of this fantasy in women (Corne, Briere, & Esses, 1992). This explanation, however, fails to account for the many men who also have submission fantasies in which the woman is imagined as the dominant person.
Another possible explanation for submission fantasies is that victims of sexual abuse during childhood and perhaps even sexual aggression during adulthood may become conditioned to associate dominance and submission with sexual stimulation (cf. Briere, Smiljanich, & Henschel, 1994). Because more women than men have been victims of sexual abuse (Finkelhor, Hotaling, Lewis, & Smith, 1990), it follows that more women would have had this conditioning experience. The evidence to support this hypothesis, however, is mixed. Two recent studies have examined how histories of childhood sexual abuse might be related to adult sexual fantasies. Gold (1991) found that women who had been sexually abused during childhood had more force imagery contained in their written descriptions of their fantasies (being forced and forcing others appear to have been combined) and had more fantasies with their imaginary sexual partner in control than women who had not been abused. Briere et al. (1994) found that women, but not men, who had been sexually abused during childhood had more fantasies of being forced to have sex than their nonabused counterparts. Briere et al. (1994) also found that this relationship was strongest for women whose sexual abuse occurred earlier in childhood. In fact, it may be unique to this age period because several studies have failed to observe any relation between being a victim of sexual aggression during adulthood and subsequent sexual fantasies involving forced sexual encounters (Gold, Balzano, & Stamey, 1991; Kanin, 1982; Pihlgren, Gidycz, & Lynn, 1992). Negatively toned flashbacks of a prior sexual assault, however, are common (e.g., Foa, Rothbaum, Riggs, & Murdock, 1991; Kramer & Green, 1991), which raises a critical caveat in regard to the force fantasies measured in the child abuse studies. It is not clear to what extent these were pleasurable or sexually arousing fantasies as distinguished from distressing flashbacks and intrusive undesired images of past traumatic experiences. Gold (1991) specifically mentioned that several respondents explicitly indicated that what they reported were accounts of these childhood experiences.

The converse of the submission fantasy is the dominance fantasy in which one forces someone else into various sexual activities. In accord with both socialization and sociobiological theory, this fantasy appears to be more frequent in men than in women. For example, Hunt (1974) found that 13% of men as compared with only 3% of women had the fantasy of forcing someone to have sex. Sue (1979) reported figures of 24% and 16% for men and women, respectively; Miller and Simon (1980); 24% and 6%; Arndt et al. (1985), 39% and 25%; and Person et al. (1989), 31% vs. 5%. In samples of men only. Crepault and Couture (1980) and Grendlinger and Byrne (1987) reported that 33% and 54% of men, respectively, had fantasies of forcing sex on women.
One explanation of the greater frequency of force fantasies among men than among women is that such fantasies are more consistent with sex role stereotypes in Western culture, in which portrayals of male dominance and female subordination and submission are common. This is evident in general social, political, and economic contexts, as well as in specific scenes of sexual interactions between men and women. It is almost routine to see movies in which a male character kisses a woman even though she may have been expressing disinterest, whereupon she enthusiastically submits to further sexual activity. The message conveyed is that if the man is physically forceful and takes the initiative and persists, the woman may respond. In this regard, it is important to note that men are much more likely to be sexually aroused by rape scenes when the female victim is portrayed as changing her mind and enjoying the sex forced on her (Malamuth & Check, 1980). It is uncertain, however, whether violent pornography actually increases the likelihood that men who are not rapists will have rape fantasies. Malamuth (1981) reported results suggesting that it does, whereas W. A. Fisher and Grenier (1994), using similar stimuli and measures, reported results suggesting that it does not.
Another explanation is that dominance fantasies affirm sexual power and irresistibility. In the typical male force fantasy, the woman cannot resist his masculine strength and she becomes sexually aroused despite her initial resistance. In other words, dominance fantasies may serve the same function for men that submission fantasies serve for women. For men, force overwhelms the woman so that she cannot resist desiring him; for women, physical attributes and personality overwhelm the man so that he cannot resist desiring her.
A third explanation draws on comparisons with other species in which males often not only have to engage in fighting or threatening behavior with other males to obtain a female but have to physically pursue and subdue the female before copulation. Sociobiological theory suggests that humans may share in this biological heritage (G. D. Wilson, 1978).
An important issue raised by force fantasies is whether or not they are linked to actual acts of sexual aggression by men against women. We postpone discussion of this issue, however, until we address the more general topic of the role of sexual fantasies in the commission of various sexual crimes, including child sexual abuse and exhibitionism as well as rape.

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Originally Posted by babydevil

Men's sexual fantasies also focus more on explicit sexual acts, nude bodies, and physical gratification, whereas women use more emotional context and romance in their sexual fantasies. Men are more likely to fantasize about multiple partners and group sex than are women.

Finally, women are more likely to have submission fantasies, whereas men are more likely to have dominance fantasies, although both types of force fantasies may indirectly be serving the same purpose: affirming sexual power and irresistibility.

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As far as I can say for my own, I have only Fantasies of submission and humiliation, which doesn't mean, I don't have other fantasies: it means that I am just fantasizing around thee themes.
But to make it more exclusive:
I wouldn't say that this is true at all. I know guys who are really emotional and me myself, I like sex without much talking around.
But concerning sexual fantasies - when I am alone - I would say it is mostly
the psychological side of relationship, the dealing with power by means of psychological control, etc. that makes me hang to the subject.