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reading into the
situation, i can't help
but feel it's too much
at night i can hear
the subway cars bustling
below the pavement
the smell of her hair
on my skin, pervading the
room like a spirit
if i try, i might
sleep, but that's very far off.
maybe i can dream....
Evan..a poet...never would have thought...I liked that! Hope you will continue to post more.
*sighs* Now if I could write like that...nice one, Evan. :)
Nice simple words that say so much and create images in the mind nice work Evan.
Silke!! You found it! This was, essentially, for you. This is haiku:Quote:
Originally Posted by Silke
Simple rules:
Three lines.
line one has 5 syllables
line two has seven
line three has 5 again.
That's all there is to it... now tell me what you see...
sun all around me
my heart hidden in shadow
shrouded by anger
[so it can be a metaphor. each line is a complete thought; the third brings the first two together. you like? let's play]
the bright morning sun
reflecting off the calm lake
shining in your eyes
[ok, caught just a moment... didn't know where i was going to end when i started, i just wrote what i felt and saw after i wrote the first two lines... i'm at a lake, it's sunrise. i look around, what else do i see?]
two-eighty count sheets
rolled up in ball on the
floor with her panties
[OOPS!! red alert! he put one thought on two line!! call the poetry police!! ;) guess what, darlin' there aint no poetry police. write what you want, what you feel, what you see....]
my keyboard is black
guess what? my mouse is black too!
can't stop missing you...
[it rhymes. i must have done something wrong. :) ha ha ha]
your turn. write 3 haikus. they can be related or not, coherent or not, just follow the simple rules.
Everybody! write a haiku for me, a haiku for you, and a haiku for us! :)!!!!! :cool:
Thanks, gregsta. I had a couple that night, and just re-read it now. I have no idea where it came from. I really wish i did... Thank you for your kind words.Quote:
Originally Posted by gregsta
I'm in the mood, let's keep playing...
Sadly, my haikus don't have much meaning, are not deep, and are not keepers, but i hope they help you through today. If today wasn't so bad, maybe it will carry you tomorrow, k? let's rock.
1.
i tripped over her
shoes they were right in front of
the open bathroom door
B.
the key to her heart
was not a key at all but
just a metaphor
iii.
but what was that place
the one with the mini golf
in the parking lot?
****.
remember i tried
if you forget that of me
then you never knew
five.
her perfume reminds
but i'm not sure just of what
could it be her kiss?
string of simple words
thoughts captured in a moment
they can mean so much.
unexpected mail
simple signs of affection
speaking of your love.
clock ticking slowly
away seconds of precious
time meant to be shared
'k, Evan....I tried, lol. Thanks for being such an inspiration and the most comfy shoulder on the forums. *hugs*
Silke, those were awesome!!! I wish *I* could write like that! :)
Lol, thanks, Kate...but if I can do it, so can you. Where's your threesome? ;)
Hmmm....
Evan and I now
A new beginning for us
We are so happy!
The people here are
so warm and welcoming to
all the new kids, grin!
I don't write as well
As my precious Evan does
Lucky I have him!
Ta da!!
Kate
Yay - awesome! *grins* Here's to the poetry noobs! :D
<clinking glasses> Cheers! :)
I liked it simple yet thought provoking. All of them are great.