A Table's Table (Real Life)

"What's the table for, Dad?" the middle daughter asks.

My wife and I were unloading a small- but-sturdy table from the truck. We'd found it -- steel frame, formica top, adjustable height -- at a garage sale.

"Uh... We're going to put that extra TV in our room, so Mom and I can watch movies at night."

My eldest daughter wrinkles her nose. "It's kinda ugly, isn't it?"

"I'll put something over it," my wife says.

We carry the table inside, down the hall, and into our bedroom. My wife leaves to do something on her computer; I find a toolbox and adjust the table's height. Then I call my wife back, since we need to test the height. We put a foam pad and some pillows on the table; she's petite, so I grab a step stool from the kitchen, placing it next to the table. She starts climbing up when...

"What are you doing?" This time, it's my youngest daughter, all of 8 years old. Apparently, we'd left the door ajar.

"Testing to see if it's strong enough to hold the TV," I said. "Now shoo!" I close and lock our door, grumbling.

My wife lays down -- clothed, as it's mid afternoon -- and she scoots around on the padding until she's positioned near the end of the table. I roll her skirt over her knees, and push against her. "Things" don't quite meet up; I need to lower the table a couple of inches. We drop one end a few inches, and the table now has a distinct tilt.

"It looks like one of those Minbari beds," my wife says with a giggle. "'Oh John! Show me how Earther's do it!'"

We hear a loud "EEWWWWWW!" from outside our door. My bellow is greeted with the sound of scurrying little feet.

It's a wonder we managed to create three kids, and that they've survived this long.

(PS for the curious: The table worked wonderfully last night -- and it offers some very nice tie-offs, too!)

Shadoom,

Thank you for the morning giggle. i am picturing the series of events and can't keep from smiling. Such insight into a simple table - and how it can be used. I dare say you are a handy man. ha! (bad joke - it's early)

i'm extremely happy that the table met the expectations of you and your wife. You know what they say...behind every great woman is...;)

i'm sure i don't really have to wish you a happy Monday so i'll wish you many wonderful memories.

Thank you for sharing with us.

Tables have so many interesting functions and we really don't use them as frequently in our stories as we ought to. The idea of a tilted table is good. When the head is lowered it is called Reverse Trendellenberg position. It "makes the blood flow to the head" (actually it promotes venous return from the legs increasing central venous pressure) and is thereby used to counteract shock. Restraining a bottom on a table in the supine position with their buttocks hanging over one end is one of the classic poses of bondage. The problem always is, what do you do with their feet and legs! The frequently illustrated solution, ankles secured up near the head is feasible only for the long and slender rather than the mature. Putting a very firm pillow or cushion under the small of the back helps make the bottom more comfortable. But the problem still remains as to how to secure the feet up in the air without construction of elaborate equipment.

Quote:

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Originally posted by e.e. norcod But the problem still remains as to how to secure the feet up in the air without construction of elaborate equipment.

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My wife noted the need for stirrups last night... ;) Ah, to find a used gynecological table at a yard sale. :)

Shadoom,

LOL Loved the story. Brings back memories.

hmmm

We have some strong wooden tables that can be lowered
on either end.

Time to experiment.

;)

Most hospitals hang onto their exam tables until they are incredibly decripit. They almost never dispose of equipment directly. Rather they have a surplus wharehouse where they send useless equipment for other departments to pick over. Finally, when a piece of equipment has sat in surplus long enough it is consigned to auction. These are held anywhere from once a year to once a month (depending on the size of the hospital). Equipment rehabers purchase from these, restore the equipment and resell it. Thus you would have trouble picking an exam table up used. And most likely, even if you got one it would be likely to be missing the stirrups as any usable parts are stripped off before sending to the surplus wharehouse.

As your wife has noted, stirrups are nice things to have to help support your legs and even better are the knee supports used in obstetrics. Otherwise the bottom has to support her legs up in the air, so to speak, in a less than comfortable position.

I might consider figuring out a way to affix, in detachable fashion, a post to either side at the end of the table. These posts should extend upward of two feet (60 cm) above the surface of the table. You can then fabricate line to suspend from the tops of the posts with loops in the ends (do you know how to execute an eye splice in three strand line?). The sub's feet can then rest in the loops much as with stirrups. When not required the posts can be detached.

Hope this was of help.

Now, where did Shadoom go? And how's the table faring?