Different submissive roles

My own take on being submissive has always been broad...there are so many ways and none are wrong, we live in a way that suits us. We can't all be 24/7 slaves. Some bottom, some sub occasionally non-commited, some sub commited, and some slave, some keep it to only online, etc....

I used to sub occasionally, whenever my masochistic needs got in the way of functioning and I needed release. I would go years between my weekend excursions sometimes, at other times...every weekend for a month, visiting Doms far away who I had known and seen before, trying to stay safe...(Queen of Run-On sentences). Now I am in a commited relationship with a Dom, but we are in no way a 24/7 couple...it can't be as we have children and other circumstances. But we make it work and our super secret bedroom life is exciting...especially when we have the house to ourselves for a weekend.

I can't recall anyone ever telling me "this is how it works, this is how you should live a submissive life." I would probably laugh to myself if they did. But I am interested in knowing how other submissives do what is best for them. How do you fit it into your life?

In my case so far I've only worked it in online. I have yet to take my D/s into real time, though not for lack of wanting simply due to the distance factor. We still as a couple try and work it in as much as we can, though sometimes it isn't that easy. As someone who is more interested in the mental aspects of D/s and power exchange than anything else, this format still generally satisfies my needs, though obviously I would give just about anything to be able to actualy physically be with my woman.

So for me, I spend a good amount of time online, both among friends in the lifestyle, and also with my Goddess, and that's how I work it in for now.

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Originally Posted by fuktoimaso

I can't recall anyone ever telling me "this is how it works, this is how you should live a submissive life." I would probably laugh to myself if they did. But I am interested in knowing how other submissives do what is best for them. How do you fit it into your life?

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You are very lucky then. The lifestyle is full of people who are ready, willing and oh-so-able to tell you that if you do not do X. Y, and Z ( in that order, and the exact same way they do it) then you are not a "true submissive".

i identify myself as a 24/7 collared property. i cannot count the times, both online and in real life, i have been told that i am not "truly a slave" because i have a job, my own car, the house is in my name, etc.

Just like in any other kind of LTR, we can make the dynamic that keeps everyone happy.

And remember: Labels are for packages. Pigeonholes are for pigeons.

I'm lucky because I live with my Dom, and the only 'kids' in the house are me and my cats =)

I would consider us 24/7, simply because he is always in control. Whatever I'm doing, he knows about and has given me permission to do, otherwise I'm doing something he specifically told me to do. 'Playtime' is always available to us, unless one of us is sick or something. I don't have my own car, a job, money, etc. We are much more than just Master and slave though, unless in your definition for "Master" you include friend, teacher, father, lover, and soulmate.

here are my thoughts

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4791

I am still new to a lot of what this lifestyle has to offer, but I have learnt that there is no one right way. There is just what feels right to you and doesn't hurt anyone in the process.

I have only so far had online experiences, and as I love the mental side of things, this has been wonderful. I am also meeting Tojo in a few months and that is something I am so looking forward too. I know this meeting will broaden my experiences even more and only strengthen our online relationship.

It has taken a long time for me to reach the point where I am today. It was not that I struggled with my submissive side, I just never really explored it until this year. Through Tojo, Warbaby and this forum, I feel at peace with who I am and who I want to be. I am having the most fun I have had in a long time too!