What are your switch preferences?

I'm just curious about how other switches govern their switch-ness. Not really any problem here, as I know we all are different, but I just have an idle interest in how other couples do it (sorry if this has already been brought up...I didn't really do a search).

-Do you feel the urge to dom and sub a single person at the same time? Maybe at different times during the same scene?

-Do you dom and sub at the same time, but with different partners (I'm a sub for this person, but a dom for this person)?

-Do you take turns with your partner (tonight, I'll be the boss, tomorrow night, you be the boss)?

-Do you feel like a dom/sub for long periods of time, then feel the need to switch again (i.e. feeling like being the sub for weeks/months/years then kind of feeling dom-my for awhile)?

Personally, I go through waves in which I'll feel very domme-ish for months at a time, then will want to be the sub for a few months. My fiance and I just switch it up whenever we feel like stirring things up a bit or if one of us is particularly fiesty. No, we don't sit down and say "well, I'm starting to feel the need to sub, so next time we get intimate, you can be in carge." ;) It just happens when it happens. Thoughts?
-Phantome

Good questions. Being a switch can be... complicated business. Fun, rewarding, but complicated.

-Do you feel the urge to dom and sub a single person at the same time? Maybe at different times during the same scene?
Short answer, yes. In fact myself and my woman have a particular scene that is very close to our hearts that incorporates this very idea, in which I start as the sub, I move to a Dominant role, and in the end I return to my role again as a sub. This is not a constant thing, but there are times when it certainly fits for us. There are many occasions when we do not do this of course, but sometimes we do.

-Do you dom and sub at the same time, but with different partners
I'm only in the one D/s relationship. I could see doing it, in theory. But I have not, to this point, been in two seperate D/s relationships where I've held a different role in each at the same time. I'm not... personally prepared to dedicate myself to two people on that level. At least not right now.

-Do you take turns with your partner (tonight, I'll be the boss, tomorrow night, you be the boss)?
For us it's very much based off the "feel" of the moment. We read each other well and more or less think along similar lines so it makes that workable for us. I can see the advantage (as well as the attraction to the needed discipline) of more "scheduled" switching however.

-Do you feel like a dom/sub for long periods of time, then feel the need to switch again (i.e. feeling like being the sub for weeks/months/years then kind of feeling dom-my for awhile)?
For me yes. I am a sub the majority of the time, with what I call "bursts of dominance". I tried being a full-time Dom and it becomes mentally stressful for me after a time. For me a balance where I sub more than I Dom is preferable. My woman is the other way, she is mainly a Domme, and a very good one, and with me she is exploring the feeling of submission on occasion. Overall this balance, combined with the solid friendship we have, works very well for us.

When I switch it is Top/bottom not Mistress/slave.. havn't gotten to switch in a long time. My wife just likes being submissive most of the time. We enjoy the Dom/sub role a lot, but for just eroticism sometimes it is nice to be a bottom (which is different from being submissive.. just can't see myself calling someone mistress <G> )

How about this take on it. I don't think a person wants to "switch" so much as just experience more. A Master/Mistress is always in control, but they might want to experience the rush of being dominated once in a while.

Try this...

If you let your slave/sub have a night of fun, first lock them in a chastity belt. She might take a strap-on and take her Master, but she won't be able to receive any pleasure until he gets the key.

-Do you feel the urge to dom and sub a single person at the same time? Maybe at different times during the same scene?

Interesting, I think Dark and I tend to complete a scene in set roles so, for example, last night I was very much the dom and Dark the sub...but this is driven by day to day or hour to hour need and mood. Primairly I take a controlling role but there are days (like today) where I want nothing more to surrender myself to her whims. We rarely change midway through the same scene, that said the early morning tussel in bed can go either way...

-Do you dom and sub at the same time, but with different partners (I'm a sub for this person, but a dom for this person)?

Difficult to answer this question, but before Dark and I committed to one another there are those I would definitely be sub to and those i'd definitely be D to, so I guess I would have to say yes. I still find it difficult to dom male subs, but its something I have done online in the past. (which raises another question, a lot of Switchs tend to be bi...is this true of the wider world?)

-Do you take turns with your partner (tonight, I'll be the boss, tomorrow night, you be the boss)?

We dont take turns to any set timetable, that feels unnatural to me...forced, and not in the good sense. 5 days out of 7 I tend to be D but...again, that depends on the mood and needs of the moment.

-Do you feel like a dom/sub for long periods of time, then feel the need to switch again (i.e. feeling like being the sub for weeks/months/years then kind of feeling dom-my for awhile)?

I cant pretend this isnt an issue I dont think about a lot. I entered this world as a sub, and had anyone suggested to me that I would not only feel comfortable domming but have deep desires to do it during that time I would not have believed it. So, I have to ask myself what happens to my relationship with Dark if I decide I have to return to my sub status...or, perhaps more worrying...if I lose my sub instincts...

My love for Dark is so complete and utterly beyond words that I am sure she would make any sacrifice to maintain our lifestyle, but I would not ask her to continue a relationship which had changed in its nature at its core without some serious discussion.


That all said, I'm just too greedy to ever see a time where I would give up one or the other of my switch nature...:D

Pain XxX

this is kinda hard for me to answer because even though i am a switch i tend to lean more twords my slave side but my master knows when i need to switch and let my domme side come out.usually when i'm having a bad day or am verry stressed he will have me dom him.there are times though when my domme side just comes out when i'm upset with my master wich is not verry often though. we have no set times when we switch though cause at the moment my master is still training me as his slave.:blurp_ani

Lately I've been more unsure of myself. I definitely prefer being submissive, but once in awhile I'd like to take control. I'm not sure how I'd feel actually doing it, or if that even would make me a switch or not. I feel like it might change things between us and I don't want that to happen.

But still, the thought of seeing the places changed...


Do you feel the urge to dom and sub a single person at the same time? Maybe at different times during the same scene?

Sometimes I'd like to, but I usually wouldn't dare to try it.

-Do you dom and sub at the same time, but with different partners (I'm a sub for this person, but a dom for this person)?

No, I've never played with more than one person at a time during a scene. I'm not sure I'd be able to do that with more than one partner.


-Do you take turns with your partner (tonight, I'll be the boss, tomorrow night, you be the boss)?

This hasn't ever happened to me. We've never actually taken turns, he has always been dominant to me. Once in awhile I'll jokingly order him around, and I do like it. :p I would just much rather be submissive.

-Do you feel like a dom/sub for long periods of time, then feel the need to switch again (i.e. feeling like being the sub for weeks/months/years then kind of feeling dom-my for awhile)?

This happens to me sometimes, but the submissive streak has been years. :) Every month or so I'll get the urge to play Domme. :p

Thanks for bumping this, Gr1m'sGirl

-Do you feel the urge to dom and sub a single person at the same time? Maybe at different times during the same scene?

I feel the urge at different time during the same scene--I enjoying flipping the one in charge and getting the tables turned on me.

-Do you dom and sub at the same time, but with different partners (I'm a sub for this person, but a dom for this person)?

This happened once, early in my exploration. I now find it hard to juggle two or more relationships at a time and so, haven't done this in a while.

-Do you take turns with your partner (tonight, I'll be the boss, tomorrow night, you be the boss)?

This is usually how it goes, since a lot of folks don't like switching gears mid scene.

-Do you feel like a dom/sub for long periods of time, then feel the need to switch again (i.e. feeling like being the sub for weeks/months/years then kind of feeling dom-my for awhile)?

No, I usually want my cake and to eat it too--I'm just greedy. I've never gone long periods wanting to just do one or the other.

-Do you feel the urge to dom and sub a single person at the same time? Maybe at different times during the same scene?

I, like a few others it seems, have trouble Domming and subbing for the same person. Even the thought of it just feels odd to me.

-Do you dom and sub at the same time, but with different partners (I'm a sub for this person, but a dom for this person)?

I'm just beginning to explore that. My boyfriend is my dom and he's allowing me to explore my switch side with another girl.

-Do you take turns with your partner (tonight, I'll be the boss, tomorrow night, you be the boss)?

Not really...when we do "play" (have an actual scene) he's always the boss.

-Do you feel like a dom/sub for long periods of time, then feel the need to switch again (i.e. feeling like being the sub for weeks/months/years then kind of feeling dom-my for awhile)?

Most definitely. I have times when I want to be the one in charge, but there are times when I get hot and tingly thinking about being tied up and helpless. *drools*

M_p

-Do you feel the urge to dom and sub a single person at the same time? Maybe at different times during the same scene?

It actually doesn't depend on the person themselves, but really it depends on both the mood I'm in and how well they respond to it.

-Do you dom and sub at the same time, but with different partners (I'm a sub for this person, but a dom for this person)?

Nope, I'm a one-woman show right now.

-Do you take turns with your partner (tonight, I'll be the boss, tomorrow night, you be the boss)?

We take turns, but it's never planned.

-Do you feel like a dom/sub for long periods of time, then feel the need to switch again (i.e. feeling like being the sub for weeks/months/years then kind of feeling dom-my for awhile)?

Nope, I honestly enjoy both equally almost all the time : )

These are interesting questions indeed. If any of you have read my profile, you'll see I used to be strictly a sub, before I switched to Dom. I do even now get submissive feelings.

First, I do not Dom/sub in the same scene. However, if I'm feeling in a sub mood I will submit, that means total control to a FemDom. But since I'm mostly Dom, 75%, those feelings don't come over me often.

Second, I am Dom/sub with same person in r/l, but with different people in cyber.

Yes I do take turns with my partner.

Normally i prefer different roles for different partners but if same partner then an interesting aspect for me is the power struggle and how the power can change hands slowly or suddenly depending on the state of play. It adds a bit more of the "whats going to happen next" to it, like a good movie with lots of twists and turns.

I like to take turns personally. One night I dom, the next night, I kneel.

I am a Switch, I have my Master whom I cherish and He has encouraged me to seek out a sub so I am able to be the Domme He enjoys watching. He does not take part in this relationship I have with my sub, but He guides me. I have always been Domme with women and some men. In the role as Domme I do not ever Switch, as a sub, I would never Switch either unless it is the wishes of my Master. What I appreciate as a sub is that I go from a person the is always in control, a person who commands attention and respect, to a person who can pour all of my being into providing the care a nurturing a sub should in serving their Master. I can let me be me and be soft. I can look up and see I have made Him happy. Make any sense to anyone??? I do feel though by being so cut and dry I do end up with an inner conflict that can be hard to deal with at times.

-Do you feel the urge to dom and sub a single person at the same time? Maybe at different times during the same scene?

Nah, once I'm in subspace there's going back and the rush of being dominant generally takes over when I'm on Top. Towards the end of a scene where I'm on Top though, as we're winding down, I tend to get a little submissive feeling.

-Do you dom and sub at the same time, but with different partners (I'm a sub for this person, but a dom for this person)?

Nope but it's a fantasy of mine.

-Do you take turns with your partner (tonight, I'll be the boss, tomorrow night, you be the boss)?

Generally over the course of a night we'll each dom the other once.

-Do you feel like a dom/sub for long periods of time, then feel the need to switch again (i.e. feeling like being the sub for weeks/months/years then kind of feeling dom-my for awhile)?

I really can't pick one over the other for an extended period. I like them both too much.