Handicapped people and BDSM

As I am sure I told some of you that I met in chat or on MSN and Yahoo, I have cerebral palsy, and I am wondering how the handicapped can enjoy the lifestyle as well. If anyone has any experiences please share them with me.

This is not a glib, politically correct answer, but why does handicap really very often come into it? To me, the heart of what we do is cerebral, that is uneffected by physical ability; after that the physical actions are merely an expression of what we feel.

You will not need me to tell you that there are as many different handicaps as there are people, and although you mention the cause of yours, you do not say how it has effected you.

For example, quite obviously a sub with no lower body muscle control/strength will be unable to crawl to their Dom/me, but the key to crawling is that you approach in a humble and non-powerful way. This same mind set could be expressed in how the sub's body language as they pull themselves along the floor to their Dom/me or even push themselves. Outside of this lifestyle when move someone with physical impairment great care is taken with body language to ensure that that person does not feel disempowered, the reverse could apply when a Dom/me is handling a sub.

If a Dom/me has issues with fine muscle control then tying and untying knots could be tricky, but what is wrong with velcro? I can see that if the D has very little body strength or control then inflicting significant pain requires a little more creativity, but am I informed the careful use of a TENS machine is highly effective.

So I guess my point is that since physical handicap does not effect D/s mindset and in everyone's case the physical action is ultimately only an expression of that, it is a just a case of don't get hung up about the normal methods of expression but think outside of the box.

cariad

(written with a background of no physical handicap myself, but having spent a year working with and at times living with people with various degrees of physical handicap from moderate to totally debilitating.)

cariad,
you bring up a very wise and good point there. I am just wondering as I am wishing to learn a lot more about the lifestyle and how I, as one whose disability is affected in the way I stand and walk, as well as nkeel and crawl plus have a hard time with other things that all people need to do is ask me, can fit into the lifestyle.

I have a disability and I manage just fine thanks :)

There are obviously things I can't do, but Velvet and I learn to work around it. We do things differently than some people but we know our limits. Sometimes it's more fun to work out how we can improvise.

We also use the equipment I have to help with various things, like a shower chair (great for making tying Velvet up and playing in the shower), using my hoist to tie her up and move her about the bedroom. Handrails placed around a huge bathroom with a walk in shower floor provides a massive space with which to have fun in. Also I have reasons to have this equipment in the house so we don't have to put it away when the kids are about :)

We talk about it, think about things, try them. If they work then cool, but if it doesn't then forget about it and think of something else.

Have fun and learn to improvise :)

I must echo the comments that have been said already.

While I never discuss this, In terms of sex or any time of play, I will for the sake of this answer.

In early 2000, I was severely injured in a car wreck, Four surgeries, and months of PT, and yes, I can walk. The arms work, I just dont bend in the middle as well. There a number of things I no longer can do, that I did before. And our sex life, and Play time sessions changed, just like everything else in our lives had to, to adjust.

But thats the point, If you find, or are already in a relationship, The disablities beyond the obvious physical mechanics ( Things getting hard, or wet as the case maybe) Can all be worked out. All it takes is a little understanding.

Anyone who uses a physical challenge or disability against another, isnt worth the effort. In my POV, such narrow minded people, are on my planet, I will allow them to breathe, but beyond that, They are pushing thier luck.

I would like to thank all for their comments on this subject, as I had learned something new.

Wheele, I have a shower chair as well, and never actually thought about using it in play. Then again, I am only VT for now and wish to go RT (RL) with it.

Putnamcocpl, I agree with what you have to say about people who put doen others because of their disabilities, as I had been ridiculed all my life for having Cerebral Palsy.

In our group who travelled to Rubberball from Sweden a while back we had a guy with severe cerebral palsy in our group. I didn't know him from before but he quickly became very popular. I should point out that he did have two drop dead gorgeous assistants in rubber on the trip with him, which may have helped it along:). I saw him whipping various chicks all the time, even though he had trouble even holding the whip. I think it's all down to attitude. Stefans, (his name) attitude was pretty much to go all the way and let it all hang out. It didn't hurt that he was witty and fun to be around. He got plenty of touchy-feely lap-dances on the dance floor. That's more than I got.

I think it's just the same as with everything. In areas you're lacking you have to make it up in some other way. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I couldn't even begin to understand how life would be like actually being confined in a wheelchair. Good luck all the same.

Ok, due to the hotlinking thing, I cant post the direct link. But I found a forum that is BDSM as well as disabilities oriented.

http://kinked. org

For those on the site that have this particular feature about their personality. I hope it provides an extra bit of reassurance that you are not alone in your desire to enjoy this lifestyle.

ID