My Third assignment

When was the first time realized you had special desires. Tell us what you were doing and why you felt you have these special desires...what did you feel? Be detailed.

Well this is what I’d call a tough assignment, as there was no real defining moment in my life that started me down the road of BDS and certainly no single event. I grew up in small town population 5,500 and my best friend was my dog Sparky, my days seemed to be right out of Mayberry RFD and Leave it to Beaver so environmental issues didn’t really factor much in my developing desires. Now back in the Stone Age we didn’t have such a thing called the Internet, hell we didn’t even have video porn, the first porn I ever saw was a silent 8mm French porn film that ran a whopping eight minutes. It would have been in my early teens that I was first exposed to that sex (outside of sex Ed of course), my dad had a collection of porn hidden under his bed (when it came to hiding places he wasn’t all that original), and some of those books were on the kinkier side of sex. One particular digest stands out which was called Variations and on occasion would have issues dedicated to BDSM and S&M and I would wear those books out. Whenever Playbody or Penthouse Penthouse had a bondage pictorial spread I was in heaven, but that was my only outlet and my right hand my only relief. I have always been skinny and though consider by many to be witty and charming when it came to approaching girls that I didn’t know I was a coward so girlfriends were few and far between, and the thought of asking them to participate in anything remotely kinky would bring me out in cold sweats.

So years went by and I made do with tracking down bondage novels and the occasional videotape and it wasn’t until I finally got a computer a few years ago that things really open up (too an extant). I finally found out there were a lot of people out there it was just a matter of finding some close to where I lived. I had a brief affair with a woman who didn’t mind being tied up, but other factors doomed that relationship. Maybe I should have been a card player cause I’ve never been lucky in love, but I do hold out hope for the future.

Well this has been a rather short assignment as I can think of no real reason why I have these desires. Why does the sight of a woman with a red ball gag give me an instant erection? Haven't a clue. Why does a woman hogtied and fisted turn me on? If I knew the answers to these I’d probably have my own sex talk show, and possibly a current love interest. Sorry I couldn't be detailed, maybe ten years from now repressed memories will come flooding in, but as of now not much to tell.