Songs...

I got bored at work. So I wrote these:

1) Song of the single man.

I have found three phones numbers been written on my scrotum.
I've no idea when they appeared and no idea who wrote 'em

2) Song of the single girl.

I don't care about the size of his beloved motor.
If he smells like a week-dead skunk crossed with Fat Bastards floater.

3) Song of the wannabee Dom

I'm a wannabee Dom-wear stridey boots and write about giving subs some slaps.
It makes me feel more like a man when drinking gin-and-tonic with the chaps.

4) Song of the older man.

She begged me for sex but I said "Please-
I'd love to be of service but I've trouble with my knees."

5) Song of the older woman.

I took out my dentures and I told him true and bold:
When I get my gums around your plums, you'll discover one true joy of getting old.

Nice one, Ed.

But unfortunately, this did not stir any monkey-love emotions within me.

6) Song of the unfortunate sub.

I've got an arse that's sore and red.
I wish he written me a poem instead.