Tough to explain, but opinions needed

brian and I have been working on getting to a more 24/7 D/s relationship as opposed to switching or me being dominant in the bedroom and in large things, but day-to-day more of a traditional or equitable relationship. It's hard-going, but we're making painful progress. He suggested this past "crash-and-burn" that I want all the benefits of 24/7 and none of the responsibility. And I admit, the responsibility of it scares me, but I also don't think it's ever going to live up to his fantasy and sometimes he's very unfair and illogical in his anger. He has a very hard time articulating his needs and when pressed, he can even admit that there's no logic or fairness involved.

I likened this growth as to me being in an early teenager phase. Kind of bratty, stubborn, "you do as I say" without providing any context or motivation, PITA. Out of the toddler phases where I basically just let him top from bottom and the elementary school phases where I was learning, learning, learning, but less creative.

Since I've grown to that point, we can have constructive arguments after we have our C&B's, but our C&Bs are becoming more and more frequent and volatile. But our constructive arguments don't tell us how to a) avoid him getting hurt and angry or b) how to make me grow into my responsibilities faster so we don't kill each other.

What's the most frustrating thing in a laundry list of frustrations is that often our biggest conflicts occur when we both are wanting the same thing. This last one he put a butt plug in wanting to me to find it and I already was scheming on how to get him into one(and dressed) so I could cut his hair and playtime to go from there. He decided I didn't find the plug in a timely enough manner and became the typical brat sub acting up which he knows turns me OFF, so I simply cut his hair and we had a raging fight for a few days. There's more, but that was the sticking point and a succession of "I want this and you should KNOW it"s and "Its MY timetable, not YOURS" accumulated.

Ok, this is getting really long and I'm not too sure if it makes sense, but if anyone has any input on how to improve this and speed growth, or even just to say they've been there and gotten past it, I'd appreciate it.

E

He's trying to be the dominant one while still being able to wear a sub's clothing. I think this would be revolting to any 24/7 dom... Such a winy asshole! I think it's harsh to cut a man's hair without his permission, but come on! He's arguing with you constantly durring play time. I'm a male sub like him, not a female dom liek you, but I could only immagine the frustration of fighting with a man with a butt plug in his ass!!!
To me, what makes women like you so sexy is that I'm gonna do what you say: Always, and without question. Outside of playtime, a sub can argue with his dom liek in a normal relationship but if he's going to bicker with you left and right ALWAYS and even durring playtime... Wha tthe fuck? I say, give the asshole one last chance. Come up from beyhind him when he gets back from work or w/e... Somehow tie him up, partially against his will and give him a harsh and stern beating... explain how things are gonna be from now on, and that if he doesn't liek it, you'll untie him but if he walks out the door you're never talking to him again...
Or try discussing it in a civilized manner... If you're into that kind of thing!