Question about aftercare.

Last night I had an intense session with my submissive on the phone and usually after a session she is reponsive, but afterwards she was babbling nonsensical words, breathing hard and not really listening to me.

I allowed her plenty of time to calm down and relax, just talking in general about things, ensuring she was loved and was a good girl. But for the first time in a long time her reaction to a session had me concerned.

I will speak with her tonight, how can I approach the situation in a way that it doesn't hurt her emotionally? We have an open and honest relationship with eachother, but I am not sure which way to tackle this issue without causing her further stress.

Thanks.

HM.

Her reaction was real time subspace. Her inability to speak is normal. You tell her this, and you understand you had a powerful enough effect to cause such a reaction.

Go to the knowledge section, look through the A-Z of BDSM. The first thread is aftercare. Read it.

Then enjoy being able to cause such a reaction from such a distance, and know what you need to do so she feels ok reacting this way.

*hugs Master tightly* I love You. Thankyou for taking such good care of me. It was an interesting experience, it scared me too. Thank You for seeking assistance here and thankYou for being so patient and loving with me during this time.

Another good place to get ideas or help from is the A-Z of BDSM Section

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=80

There is a good thread on after care here....A is for Aftercare.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6632

Hope this helps. *small smile*

EDIT: As I think upon this session it was a form of subspace, but wasn't the usual form that I have experienced. It just felt so different and I felt like I was not all there. I was all shakey and not responsive at all to Him, that I didn't want Him around, I wanted to be alone. Which is really strange as usually after a session all I want to do is have Him hold me and care for me.

I guess, as others have told me as a result of this thread, each sub hits their highs and lows in subspace and reactions can vary. Also thanks to those who have helped me with this. angel xx

The content in here is really close to my mind and heart, but I am kind of using this as a way to tell Master without breaking down to Him on the phone. I'd rather forward this to Him and let Him read it and decide what to do in regards to this. I am open for suggestions or PM's from P/people here if they wish to offer their thoughts, or simply you are more than welcome to respond to this thread here. And if you do not want to respond, that is perfectly fine also lol.

With that said...I believe I know the reason why I have bad subspace experiences when coming down. Well I am not 100% sure but it kind of makes sense to me.

I am thinking it is due to an experience that I had in my life when I was a little younger. The same feeling I have when coming down, is the same feeling I had when I was attacked coming home from work. When I was attacked, I felt as if I had left my body, I was not associating with what was physically happening to me.

When I hit subspace, I jolt, something within me seems to float away, to not be a part of my surroundings. I cannot hear or feel anything, (usually Master has to be really attentive to snap me out of it) but it feels so good and floaty....when I hear Him and I get back to my surroundings...I tremble and feel so afraid, even thought it was Master with me all along.

I don't mind getting to subspace, it is unintentional and sometimes happens in our play together, it is the coming down that I am afraid of...now moreso than before because I know the underlying issue why I feel so bad.

Today I made that association, because not thinking of anything in particular, my mind drifted to the past, and I felt that same feeling that recently felt during coming down from subspace last night. I don't know if it is linked or not...but angel needs help somehow..I don't know how to fix this...maybe I need to see a shrink LOL...where's delia's Help thread when I need it......

Seriously I do not know what to do about this...if there are any threads here that can point me in the right direction please let me know, or if anyone wishes to contact me over this please PM me and we can arrange something.

I am so ashamed of myself...of even bringing this up here, I just need some advice...maybe.

with love,

angel xx

Do not be ashamed of asking for help.

And I have some experience helping in this and will talk to you through other methods.

Hugs for you angel.

I believe that subspace and by the sounds of it the experience you when were returning from work are linked because they are both states of trance. Any hypnotherapist worth his salt knows that the most important phase of caring for someone in a trance is how they are brought out of it. I do not have any experience of transfer of experiences as you suggest, and could only tell you how I am brought round, which I am very willing to share with you if you would like.

The only experience I have had which is similar is, once, when I was very deep he said something completely innocent, which triggered a semi repressed memory and I panicked. I felt incredibly sorry for the poor guy, because he had no idea what had happened, and I was not in a state to explain, and just kept both pushing him away and asking to be held! Since then we have discussed in some detail that semi repressed memory. That was useful healing in itself, and he now has a better understanding, of might still be a trigger and how to handle it, if he has to. It could be that you need to unwrap your experience and face it in the same way - but I would not advise doing that without suitable support.

Additionally, if I was in your position, I think I would make an appointment to see an experienced hypnotherapist, since they are the experts on managing trances. Explain to him what the problem is, and see what his advice is.

cariad