Does the age of a sub/Dom(me) affect you?

cariad made a comment in here about feeling young. I responded by saying I felt old. It is an idle question, but do you feel that age is relevant in an on-line chat or relationship?

I am limiting this to on-line as this is where most of us have met and where we mostly communicate. I have seen references in personals to age and wonder if this makes any difference to any of you? For my own part, I am happy to chat with mostly anyone of legal age in here. The depth of life experiences varies greatly with the person involved and unless you get into a very deep conversation it seems to be irrelevant.

I would further ponder on whether it is possible to predict someone's age by their chat?

It is altogether possible that as I act like a sixteen year-old most of the time you will be amazed to learn that I am, in fact, a little over 30!

*shameless plug* in my thread in BDSM life, I mentioned that the age of my now-fiance was a concern to me when we started our relationship online. He is 11 years older than me and was at the time a teacher of the subject that I was studying, although at a different college in a different state. I was concerned that we wouldn't have anything in common, that he wouldn't be able to take me seriously, etc, etc.

As it turns out, it hasn't made much of a difference at all, although I like to tease him by saying things like "You know, I remember hearing this song on the playground in elementary school..." after he mentions listening to it while dancing with a girl in college. :D I much prefer the idea of being dominated by someone older than me than someone younger, to be honest, although I don't think it *has* to work that way.

*thinks*

*ponders*

I think, I could only submit to someone who had greater maturity, and greater breath and depth of life experience than I do, which generally means he would be older. 'He whom I choose' to obey in 'r/l' is significantly older than me, and Uncle has a few years on me too. The exception to this pattern was CC who much to my surprise was slightly younger.

When it comes to who can enjoy having a friendship with, I think age is even less significant, and I have enjoyed the company of people of many different vintages whilst here.

cariad

I've never considered age to be much of a factor, unless of course the person is underage. Maturity and compatability are both so much more important. Especially online, I don't think it's important. Overall though, it doesn't matter to me. I tend to prefer older men, but in general thats just because of the maturity.

If you're both happy, what others think doesn't matter.

hrmmm ..
at one time I would have answered this differently with age of usually 25- not to my liking, but overtime .. I've had to do away with that.
Now, I look at maturity, personality, compatibility, and interests.

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I would further ponder on whether it is possible to predict someone's age by their chat?

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I don't think that you can predict age.. but depending on their posting style and reaction to things around them in a chat room, you can begin to judge maturity and much more.

a general age rule for me is 18+1 day. ( state law ) chuckles.

Age is something that has never bothered me, my first sub was 7 years older then me and I have dated people in the Bdsm world 10 years older and ten years younger

I think I would have a hard time dealing with someone significantly younger than me. Im talking 30 years younger. I am afraid if I were Domming a 23 year old all I could see was my daughter. . . . sighs. . . the effects of age do strange things to ones mind.

I'm much more concerned with the brain in thae person's head, than the age of the head itself. If they've got a sharp mind (and a good sense of humour never hurt anyone) then I am always open to ideas.

good evening Sir , a pleasure to meet you Sir ,

may i say my Sir is 30 years older than i and this has never had an influence as O/our minds meet "equally" yet as a vsual i can understand how this may be an influencing factor lol :) i am of the belief age can offer such a greater degree of understanding of a submissives' needs as experience grows but if there is both a mutual understanding then age can become irrelevant :)

thank you Sir for allowing me my opinion

I have to agree with most that it's an attitude and not the age - especially on-line where your words must speak louder than your actions. The connection is what it's all about.

Well I guess I should say something here. My slave is 23 yrs younger than me. We have lived together for over a yr now.Yes I have had all the feelings about is it right ect. But to be quite honest this is the best relationship I have ever had in my life.Thats not to say it dont have its ackward monments . Her folks are my age, my kids are her age. But on the other side belive it or not we have so much incomman , both only children raised on rural farms, both have the same veiws on the lifestyle & more.To us age is not a factor. I do know it is to others around us, thats their prob. I look at it this way when she moved in with me she was 1/2 my age but she is catchin up , hell in a couple hundred yr the diff wont matter at all, LOL.

If there's a connection, there's a connection. If it's legal, then not to worry. Personally, I find older men very attractive. The younger someone is the more I want to mother them. That's so far. I keep an open mind.

In theory I'd like to be with someone close to my own age, but in practice I'm hardly to going make that of all things a requirement for a relationship. I mostly seem to end up attracted to people substantially older than me, though I don't know if there's any causation to that correlation.

I think as long as the relationship works for the people involved then age isn't an issue. That being said, i have always seemed to gravitate towards Doms who are at least 20 years older then me... actually come to think of it I have gravitated towards older men in general be them Dominate or vanilla. Seems the average age of the men i have respected, loved, and enjoyed the most have been closer to my mom's age... lol.

The reason is simple... i need someone that has the life experience i don't have as of yet. i like men who are confident with themselves (confident not cocky there is a different) and who know what they want, have achieved it on some level, and know how to get what they are still seeking. It isn't that younger men don't do that, some do, but the maturity is often times a overall factor.

That being said, age alone can't be a determining factor. I know some 60 year olds that act 12 and some 21 year olds that seem 40...

As to online... age doesn't matter for a friendship. At times it is possible to tell age by the choice of words, syntex, etc. But, there have been times, even on this board, that I have been surprised by someone who i thought was older being much younger and vice versa.

So... there are my early morning ramblings on the subject....

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Originally Posted by Timberwolf

I'm much more concerned with the brain in thae person's head, than the age of the head itself. If they've got a sharp mind (and a good sense of humour never hurt anyone) then I am always open to ideas.

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I agree a hundred percent. That's why I never fuck young chicks. he he. Brain age and body age most ofter correlate. Just kidding.

But seriously. When I was younger, if a young girl had a pretty face and great ass I tended to assume her inuendoes where informed. With age I realised that it was only my penis sucking blood from my head clouding my judgement. I'm a lot wiser now and for safety I don't fuck young chicks any longer. No matter how rock hard her ass is. She'll most likely only end up breaking my heart, (again and again). I can do without that.

A experienced person comunicates her experience in every action. And since I like learning, that's what I'm about.

I'm not saying older people can't be extraordinarily childish. An old, fat saggy ass does not mean that the brain is full of wisdom. Most often it's the oposite.

edit: as for on-line. I really wouldn't know. I'd like to fool myself into believing that it comes through. But I have nothing to back that up.

The upside to training a young sub is you can train then they way you want and they have no experience to look back on and say "My other Dom was not like that or my other Dom made me do this"

I used to work retail and when I hired I would look for those "trainable" and hire those with less experience so I could teach them they was they should be trained for a job, and not have them say "We did not do it that way where I worked before"

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Originally Posted by mkemse

The upside to training a young sub is you can train then they way you want and they have no experience to look back on and say "My other Dom was not like that or my other Dom made me do this"

I used to work retail and when I hired I would look for those "trainable" and hire those with less experience so I could teach them they was they should be trained for a job, and not have them say "We did not do it that way where I worked before"

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ha ha. *points* insecurity issues. sorry about that. Couldn't help it. :cool:

In my completly oposite experience, experienced subs are the fastest to train, because they understand what I'm getting at straight away. They've worked out their issues with themselves about their submissiveness which makes life so much easier for the both of us. Comunication is always better. But they on the other hand have much higher demands on me as a Master, which IMHO in turn trains me into, not only a better Master but also a better person. Experience rocks on all sides.

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Originally Posted by just_annie

That being said, age alone can't be a determining factor. I know some 60 year olds that act 12 and some 21 year olds that seem 40...

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exactly! i tend to gravitate towards older men, usually at least 10 years older than me...but older doesn't always mean wiser.

age has really only been a factor for me when it comes to D/s. there is just no way i can see myself letting someone younger than me dominate me. i know that sounds silly and judgemental of all the guys out there under 27, but i can't help it! my husband is just 10 months younger than me and i can't even let him dominate me. ~shrugs~ just the way it works in my fucked up head. LOL

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Originally Posted by Uncle_Ed<c>

cariad made a comment in here about feeling young. I responded by saying I felt old. It is an idle question, but do you feel that age is relevant in an on-line chat or relationship?

I am limiting this to on-line as this is where most of us have met and where we mostly communicate. I have seen references in personals to age and wonder if this makes any difference to any of you? For my own part, I am happy to chat with mostly anyone of legal age in here. The depth of life experiences varies greatly with the person involved and unless you get into a very deep conversation it seems to be irrelevant.

I would further ponder on whether it is possible to predict someone's age by their chat?

It is altogether possible that as I act like a sixteen year-old most of the time you will be amazed to learn that I am, in fact, a little over 30!

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LMAO, I thought you were about that plus 20.

Online, no, age is really irrelevant. But I still care because I also desire real life encounters. I've done older. So I currently have a preference for my age or younger... and at least as physically capable as I am.

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Originally Posted by TheDeSade

I think I would have a hard time dealing with someone significantly younger than me. Im talking 30 years younger. I am afraid if I were Domming a 23 year old all I could see was my daughter. . . . sighs. . . the effects of age do strange things to ones mind.

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*Fortunately, that would not bother me at all. Your daughter I mean. :rolleyes:






*(The above comment was for the sake of humor alone. No disparagement of anyone's daughter was intended. All women are someone's daughter. )

Online relationships Ive never Really cared about age, though there were a few times when I did feel uncomfortable with some of the huge age gaps, simply cause my mind starts to wonder about the age in relation to my own family -shudders-

Generally online has been the same for real life nowadays (because most of my recent online activity has eventually moved into rl dating) when I look for a Master, I am 20 and I dont meet anyone over the age of 45 just because to me thats pushing it in itself because I want someone that I could eventually be around with in front my family without shame.

Online only, well, everyone acts differently (as was stated), Ive met a Really mature man that was 22 and Ive also spoken with older adult men in their 30's that act like theyre teenagers. Age doesn't really become a factor online, you get to know someone based on their personality.

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Originally Posted by Daes

Online relationships Ive never Really cared about age, though there were a few times when I did feel uncomfortable with some of the huge age gaps, simply cause my mind starts to wonder about the age in relation to my own family -shudders-

Generally online has been the same for real life nowadays (because most of my recent online activity has eventually moved into rl dating) when I look for a Master, I am 20 and I dont meet anyone over the age of 45 just because to me thats pushing it in itself because I want someone that I could eventually be around with in front my family without shame.

Online only, well, everyone acts differently (as was stated), Ive met a Really mature man that was 22 and Ive also spoken with older adult men in their 30's that act like theyre teenagers. Age doesn't really become a factor online, you get to know someone based on their personality.

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Daes,

i'm not sure i understand why personality would not be a factor in r/l or what shame there would be with the age difference. Is it the preconceived shame associated with not fitting in, not pleasing one's family, what? i'm not trying to judge just wishing to understand your view point...

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Originally Posted by TheDeSade View Post
I think I would have a hard time dealing with someone significantly younger than me. Im talking 30 years younger. I am afraid if I were Domming a 23 year old all I could see was my daughter. . . . sighs. . . the effects of age do strange things to ones mind.

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Not sure i understand the potential problem there TDS... lol.

You could be great friends with her parents and she could be a great friend to Your daughter.... imagine the fun stories to be shared!

*wonders back off before i get into trouble.... weg*

Nice to know that people in generel dont think too much about age. Just sad that you all seem to focus on the fact that your significant other should be mature, as I like to be immature when ever i can. But then, I have my mature moments... I think :nana:

LOL..Fortunately Mine at home doesnt mind a younger Dom, shes 14 yrs My senior.

As for O/L, I seem to attract younger girls, so as long as there is a connection and shes sincere in her service, I have no issues with age.

I'll add this, Wwe are looking for a second sub, so now, I do think of age as I'm looking for one to be an O/L to R/L with Uus. So that now being the case, I'm drawing a line at about 25, this seems to be a point at which people make better choices, and also considering Oour ages too.

Age has never really been an issue with me if I know and enjoy the company of the person I'm with or talking to, or indeed, belong to. Age can't determine a personality. I've fallen for guys that could easily be my father because of the age difference.

I usually prefer older men. I think they often a greater understanding of themselves and as a result make better Masters.

I think I would struggle with a younger man dominating me.

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Originally Posted by just_annie

Not sure i understand the potential problem there TDS... lol.

You could be great friends with her parents and she could be a great friend to Your daughter.... imagine the fun stories to be shared!

*wonders back off before i get into trouble.... weg*

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I do believe that I live this very situation. My pet is around my daughters (3 daughters) age. Her Dad is my age & works tool & die as I do also runs a beef farm much like I was raised on, we can talk for hrs about either & have. As to lifestyle we live her folks have no idea of course. On the other side of it my pet & my kids get along like old school mates often I can just stay out of the conversation completely. Also my kids know the lifestyle we live, not the intimite details but they have seen our dungeon & know we use it. In fact my son who is a carpenter has done much of the woodwork there. & my youngest helped my lay the carpet when she was 19( who I mite add just last xmas asked me to get her a good pair of handcuffs). I would like to make clear that I never put this in my kids faces. My ex is the 1 that make it clear to them when we split up. guess to try to put a wedge between us though it did back fire on her as they dont care, Im still dad & they love me. Guess inspite of myself , raised them right. I do notice that they are way more accepting of ppls diff life choises than most ppl their age.
Wow this got much longer than I planned

The real concern I have with age is that I do not want to do anything illegal. I want some type of proof of age in a chat environment so that I do not get into something with a minor. Plus, it is not my thing anyway.

Also, I find that I have trouble relating to some people who are significantly younger. If it is just play, that is not as much of a problem as if we are in an ongoing relationship, but it can still be a factor.

Dragon is 20 years older than me, which has nothing to do with why i love him and serve him. He is who He is. The age is just a number.

rose
:rose: