Printable View
I am getting to a phase in my relationship where my sub wants to be as submissive as I want her to be including doing things that she may not enjoy directly.
We have already tried a few things in the past but our bdsm was always based on sex with a normal relationship outside of the bedroom.
I would now like to explore her limits to see what can and cannot be part of this new extended role of bdsm in our life. I also want to see what is enjoyable to me and what is not.
Thanks.
Greetings,Quote:
Originally Posted by Fastfwd
seems as you are now taking out of the bed room and in to your daily lifes here are afew things that my female submissive finds hard and at time does not enjoy or finds it hard to ..
moeny was the big one for her. she has her own money but I control what she spend and how she spends it. example.. if she wants something first she has to work out if its a Need or a want.. if its a need then yes she can have it if its a want then if it is over $20 (Australian dollars) then she is to ask me first. she finds this hard as she was all ways used to spending what she wanted to.
another one for her that she does not enjoy is.telling her what to wear. most girls like to wear what they want. she may want to wear jeans and i will say no a skirt. she does not enjoy that at all.
having control over every day things for the my girl is not enjoyable for her. but she is getting used to it.
when she eats what she eats. clothes she wears or lack of clothes she wears. when she sleeps where she sleeps. how she wears her hair. controling the girly routine is a big thing for the girls to deal with.
the list goes on.
There are BDSM 'Limits Lists' out there that some people find useful to negotiate the range of their activities. However, my suggestion would be that you invent this list yourselves - together. You're only limited by your imagination as to what gets included on this list and the first list you make doesn't need to be the definitive one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fastfwd
A good way to begin is to break the myriad of activities down into several headings. For example, Bondage, Corporal Punishment, Fetishes, Humiliation, Role Play, Submission and Torture. From there, talk with each other about activities that could be listed under each heading and maybe rate each with your levels of interest/willingness to try it. What you will likely find is that you'll differ in opinion about categories. What one person might consider to be extreme humiliation may to another, be a relatively routine submissive service. This then is where you negotiate to see whether things get included or excluded. Approaching the list this way opens up the possibilities of everything you possibly can do, rather than focussing on the things you won't do (as often happens with traditional Limits Lists)
It's important to also note that whatever list you make isn't set in stone. Be prepared to review it often -- make changes as you go. Most importantly, have fun! :)
anonymouse
this might be helpful -
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3653
that thread contains an awesome BDSM checklist posted by Ironwulf...as well as some other useful information. :)