When You Need Medical Help
I received this essay from a sub friend (who had gotten it from an online submissive mentoring site) 4 years ago when I had just begun to dabble in the lifestyle. Although it is not something any of us want to face, it is certainly something to think about. I know lately I seem to be full of dire warnings, but I have noticed quite a few new young Dominants and submissives joining the site lately, as well as other members that are preparing to take the plunge from online to a physical relationship, and I think it is important to share the good with the bad in order for them to make an informed choice as to whether they are really prepared to take this journey. After this I will shut up, I promise. *grin* "Peace" ~blizz~
WHEN YOU NEED MEDICAL HELP
What will you do if you need medical attention and the reason is BDSM related? What will you do if you need medical attention for some other reason, but have bruises from a BDSM scene that are unmistakably caused by a cane, paddle, or something not just a "bump"? Will you be hesitant to seek medical help or get regular check ups if you have genital or nipple piercings, are shaved, or have tattoos? Please consider these questions carefully, your life could depend upon it.
My Husdom and I have faced this, and two things led us to a decision that we needed to talk to our doctors - before something necessitated seeing them in an emergency.
The first was a situation where I was going in for surgery and was told that I would have to remove all jewelry. I informed the nurse that I had a genital piercing with a ring in it I couldn't remove. (I have a clit hood piercing with a fixed bead ring that does not come off easily, and needs a special tool to be replaced.) He wasn't put off by my explanation and said that it shouldn't be a problem for me to leave it on. However, while we were talking, another nurse came in, and having missed most of the conversation, wanted to know why I couldn't remove my jewelry. She reacted quite differently. She got this disgusted look on her face and quickly left. I wrote her reaction off as "her problem", but didn't appreciate being subjected to it.
The second situation was more critical. I was experiencing abdominal pains and I chose not to go to a doctor right away because I had marks on my rear. Two days later Alan insisted that I go to the emergency room. I was misdiagnosed unfortunately, and by the time I went back, my appendix had ruptured. If I hadn't hesitated to see my own doctor that might not have happened.
Alan and I discussed this problem and decided to tell two of our doctors about our "rough sexual play". I was embarrassed about it before hand, but our doctors (my OB-GYN and our internist) both were pleased we were willing to confide in them.
We planned how we would approach them with this, and started our conversation by letting them know we'd had problems with the reaction of medical people in the past, and had become hesitant to seek medical help when we needed it.
We began by telling them about a former OB-GYN of mine who, after I'd had a miscarriage, told us to refrain for intercourse for several weeks. Alan asked her if anal sex was OK. She was stunned, awkwardly silent a moment, then managed to regain control and tell us that she was concerned about vaginal infection and that this would be all right. (It was obvious that she was uncomfortable and we switched to another doctor right after that.) We also told our doctors about the different reactions from the two nurses to my clit hood piercing, and about my delay to get medical help because of bruises from our sexual play, and later finding out that I had a ruptured appendix. We explained that our worries about the reaction of medical professionals to our situation were causing problems for us. And because we didn't want to find ourselves hesitant to seek help in the future, we were choosing to talk to them before this might happen again.
They both responded with concern for our situation, saying that nothing should ever keep a person from seeking medical advice. Neither had any problem with the possibility that I might have bruises, and both appreciated that we had let them know about this.
Later, when talking to my current OB-GYN about my clit hood piercing, I jokingly told him that since I had the ring inserted Alan never missed *that* spot when pleasuring me. He was really great. He laughed teasingly and responded that if he'd know that Alan had a problem he had several charts he could have shown him. *grin* Now, I can't guarantee that all doctors will respond this way, but I do know I don't have any hesitations about going to my doctor when I need to, regardless of the reason for needing to go, or if I'm showing marks from the crop, cane or belt.
So why am I writing this? You might think this won't happen to you, but chances are that some day it will. I'd urge anyone reading this to speak to his or her doctor and let them know about your lifestyle, or that you are involved in "rough sex" or consensual play that may leave you bruised at times. If it's any help you can use what happened to me as an example of why you are bringing this up with them.
If you can't talk to your doctor, make plans for going to an emergency room, or calling a hospital ER for advice. But don't leave your plans till the last minute. You might also consider changing to another doctor.
