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http:// en. wikipedia.org/wiki/ Polyamory
Anyone understand? Empathy?
I'm not speaking about sex-buddies and play partners...I mean matters of the heart. Oh goodness that didn't come out right, did it?
I'm very tired just now, so I'm sorry this initial post is so brief.
I read this article a while back while just surfing through wikipedia.
I'm a one man for one lady kinda person. But some people are attracted to the same sex, some both. So if someone loves two or more people, great for them.
Same boat as you, very sleepy, but stubbornly refuse to do sleep.
I think polyamory is somehtign that could work very well if all parties are truely in favor of it. There is no reason you can't love more than one person equally. I don't feel that there is anything wrong with it.
If my Lord adn I were to meet someone and have that sort of conenction, I wouldn't be opposed to it if it were a path that the situation took...
Go to this website for a well written opinion.
http://www. xeromag.com/fvpoly.html
My sister is into this and has been for many years. Well before it became a well known concept. For her it isn't a sexual thing, but a love thing. She likes the feeling of falling in love, but without the kids and a dog thing. She has got a life partner who's also into it, (obviously). But they are mostly friends and have good sex. It's not a fear of intimacy thing, but rather a chemical thing. As she puts it, she likes the chemicals that get released when she's in love, (oxytocin). She used to be a scientist, so she should know. When the chemicals die out she goes to the next one. She has a life partner since 20 years, so she has everything else one could expect from married life.
The only reason I'm not into it is because I'm not strong enough. I couldn't handle the emotional roller coaster. I would if I could.
I agree with what DrkRvn said, completely. I think real, long-term polyamorous relationships are probably twice as hard to achieve as real, long-term one-on-one relationships. After all, there's at least one more person added to the mix--but if complications are doubled, well, I'd like to hope joy would be, too! I think that such a relationship (especially if an established couple is planning on expanding) is only possible with trust and honesty.
I like the analogy on the website ID pointed to. Love is not money. It isn't limited in the sense that if you give it to more than one person, you take away from A to give to B. Ask any parent with children. You don't love the first child less when the second is born, right? Your capacity to love expands with the new addition. I suspect true polyamory (not cheating) is like that.
But that's just my 2 cents, feel free to ignore it if you don't agree with it.
I tend to believe that, much like how people are naturally gay or straight (or bi), and naturally dominant or submissive (or switch, or neither), people are also naturally predisposed to mono or poly relationships.
Poly can also mean a number of different things, of course...
Polyamorous relationships would be my ideal, but I would say that they are very difficult to achieve in real life. I have always admired the way Robert Heinlein desrcibed his characters marraiges. This is best exemplified in Stranger in a Strange Land and The Past Through Tomorrow.
A poly relationship is more work because it can be so easy to get jealous, the more people involved, the more ways that little things can cause problems. I would love to have a poly marraige, but would hate to have the headaches.
A good resource can be found here: http://www.polyamory .org/SF/essays.html
You know, the real punishment for bigamy is having two mothers-in-law. ;)
I am a strictly monogamous person. This does not mean I cannot appreciate someone else than my partner for her beauty, wits etc., so I think I have a little understanding of what it is like loving more than one. I would never try it, it is definitely not for me.
I have always thought it entirely possible to love more than one person romantically and equally.
Now I have practical confirmation.
Between Master, joie, and me... it seems like just such a perfect fit...
we both love Master, and naturally focus on Him, but love and care for each other truly as sisters...
i could never be jealous of joie or her time with Master, and i can't imagine she would ever of me- and this is easily felt because we share the same goal of pleasing Master (i don't mean sexual), so if Master is happy spending time with joie, focusing on her... then i'm happy.. b/c He's happy. it's just a three-way love pyramid with Master at the top...
Of course, it helps that He is such a sweet, loving, affectionate, appreciative, and caring person... :)... always makes us both feel loved...
So, the Master (or Mistress) is key...
I think if it were just a vanilla threesome... jealousy might be more of an issue- b/c everyone's still kind of playing those games to gain control of the relationship.
I can't speak for the polyamory between a Master/ Mistress with more than two slaves... but I suppose if it had the same concept of focusing on Master/ Mistress, it would work just as well.
I just thought that I'd make one point here. Most people seem to bring up jelousy as the biggest problem, while for me that's no problem. The reason I don't think I'm strong enough is just the investment I make into a partner. I focus a lot on the object of my love. Even one can be too much for me. Women are pretty strange creatures, and keeping up with their emotions is a tough one.
ALERT BAD JOKE COMING.............ALERT......
WHY are polyamory relationships a good idea?
So you can have somone to poke her with 23 days a month
and someone to play poker with the other 8.
told you it was bad.
i think each relationship is it's own being and should not be subject to the rules of past or what is exspictations of normality.
Would you really not be just a tad jealous if your slave submitted to a second master?Quote:
Originally Posted by TomOfSweden
cariad
I wouldn't call the feelings I feel jealousy. Jealousy in relationships is basically the fear of being abandoned. I have no social fears. I know that if I get dumped I'll be sad. But I know I can work through it, and I know I'll come out on top. If she would leave me for somebody else, there was nothing I could have done, that I hadn't allready done to stop it anyway. So why get all worked up about it. Emotionally I'm just super stable. I've worked through all this a long time ago.Quote:
Originally Posted by cariad
hmmm... I think I'll re-phrase that. I maybe shouldn't say that I never feel jelousy. Because I do. It's just that as soon as it surfaces I instantly see it for what it is so fast that it dies in the same instant.
My ex loved gang bangs. She enjoyed being fucked by as many big cocked men as possible. My cock isn't the biggest in the world. Certainly not small, but some of the guys she met where hung like horses. That never got to me. Not ever. This even surprised me since this tends to be the biggest male hang-up. I think it's simply down to just being one hell of a cool dude. :cool:
But this doesn't really answer your question, since there's a problem of hierarchy. If she would submit to a second Master, what does that make me? It's really not a matter if I'm jelous or not. I think we all understand that it just wouldn't work. Not if we're talking 24/7. Which is the life that I want to live with my slaves.
I would never sit waiting for my slave to get finnished with some other guy. I want her to have all her energy focused on me. Is that jelousy or just an incompatability issue with my life style? I've never forbidden any of my slaves ever to be with or stay in contact with anybody.
As long as I'm number 1 and she comes running to my side whenever I need her I'm pretty much cool with anything. Which rules out a second Master, because of the nature of being a Master.
I admire your attitude there Tom, but you are still overlooking something, just because you can deal with your jealousy, does not mean that your sub can. This is something else that you will have to deal with, however you might feel about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by TomOfSweden
Hrm...
having a wife who is sub.. I would not interfer if she wanted a online master. As long as things were understood ahead.
jealousy perhaps.... but it's two way.. she could be jealous of wlg or some of the others i talk with and some i play with online.
I think it's not a question of one submitting to one or more than one.
It's a matter of internal relationship handling..
It's not for everyone. And each handles it differently if at all.
I agree with Rhabbi that ToS may handle his own, but he speaks of many slaves, but not of thier jealousy.
Theirs is the one to be concerned with or not.
That is how i view being involved with many through out the day.
Rhabbi, he already said that he doesn't want a poly relationship, so it's kind of a moot point if his sub would be jealous or not.
Wolfscout, are you saying that it doesn't matter if the dom in a relationship wants to be poly as long as the subs do? That doesn't make much sense... :confused:
He he. I think you jumped into this a bit prematurely. This comment doesn't really connect to anything does it? I'm not into polyamory so I really don't have to care.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhabbi
But, my lack of jelousy can be a problem since many women use level of jelously as a measure of degree of my love for her. With my ex I had to pretend to be jelous when she needed it. The sacrifices we do for love.
not sure where you got that from. I was talking of how i feel towards those i care for.Quote:
Originally Posted by NatalieD
Well, you said "theirs is the one to be concerned with or not", which makes it sound like you think his jealousy or lackthere of is not to concerned with. At least, that's how it looked to me.
- still confused Natalie