Sister/Brother subs

so in light of his_deliah 's personal post ( hope you don't mind!!!), i wanted to start a thread on sister subs.

first off, in your own opinion, what is a sister sub?

how do you establish such a relationship? i mean not only do you and the sister sub have to get along but so do the Dom and the two subs. it seems that it needs to be such a carefully balanced relationship.

and i've come along alot of different types of relationships, especially since getting into the lifestyle. but i can honestly say that i have yet come across a Dom and two subs. i've come across polyamorous relationships, but not something like the intimacy between a Dom and multiple subs.
that being said, when i think of a sister sub, lol or brother sub in some cases, i think of another submissive equal to my status in my Dom's eyes. like in my personal case, my ideal sister sub would be someone that also lives with me and my Dom, not just a casual play partner.
i sincerely want a sister sub. i'm not really actively looking simply because both me and Azrael have decided it's best to wait until W/we have established a good stable D/s relationship first, but in the long run i truly hope to have a sister sub.
i mean not just in a sexual way, obviously, but i just think it would be great to find somebody like that. i would have to trust this other female almost as completely as i trust my Dom. it would be an intimate, lasting relationship.

So what is E/everyone's opinion on sister/brother subs?

I've also noticed the recent posts on them. I think it would be interesting, but I'm not sure if I could handle it. I tend to be selfish and would preferrably want my Dom to dote on only me. However, if it greatly pleased my Master then I would do my best to get over my aversion to it. I think it could add more dynamic during play.

I agree with you, Nymph about trusting this person completely and would want them to live with yourself and your Dom.

I think I may need to think more about this subject. It would be interesting to know another submissive on such an intimate level and work together to please a common Master.

I think it would be a good idea for those able to maintain trust. I am in MajesticFae's position though -- I tend to be greedy. I'd get jealous too =/ But that's just me...

If you do find her, let us know =D

hrm .. i don't know of any real life sub sisters.
The two online.. and of those two one is more problematic than helpful. I saw it cause the one sub to loose her online Dom because of the input of the "sister" mainly.

IMO it isn't for everyone.

Well i had the same sort of thought until i actually took the time to think about it and seriously put myself in the position.

i mean, this person would be basically your best friend. you would care for her just as much you would your Dom, so i would think, in a good "triangular" (thats right i'm making up phrases now! :P) relationship, there would be no jealousy or envy.

of course it's hard to really speculate on these kinds of things, because i truly believe that it's one of those things you have to actually experience, but damnit i can fantasize!

although, in general i'm not that jealous of a person. as i mentioned before, i am in a polyamorous relationship. so ultimately it's just another one of those things that simply is not for everyone.

I think it might be on the level as submitting to two Dominants, a husband and wife, for example. You have to care equally for those two beings who nurture your submissive tendencies. A single Dom/me may have his/her hands full with two subbies though.

If you supposed to a Dom and a Domme, you would have to trust these two implicitly and not one more than the other. The love would be shared in a triangular fashion in this situation as well. The same would be true if a single Dom had two submissives, thus making them siblings. I think trust and openness is the key in these relationships.

Interesting thread. Hope to see if any who say they are sisters tell us how it actually works out.

Human natures seems to me would always harbor some form of jealousy whether it surfaces immediately or not.

Ever watch Big Love on HBO? That shows some of the difficulties of having multiple partners in a rel;ationship. I personally believe it is possible to do it, but it takes a lot of work, just like anything worthwhile.

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Originally Posted by Rhabbi

Ever watch Big Love on HBO? That shows some of the difficulties of having multiple partners in a rel;ationship. I personally believe it is possible to do it, but it takes a lot of work, just like anything worthwhile.

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I have watched it. Looked for its return this year. I agree with you.

One of my previous relationships was like this, offline. My Master (at the time) introduced me to another sub. We both liked her. We had discussed adding another sub, and she seemed like a good fit. We spent a good bit of time getting to know her (not enough, as it turned out). When she finally moved in with us, it was a good deal like having a sister. She was, however, and lot more dominant than I am, and he allowed her to explore that side of her personality with me. Our relationship changed from being nearly equals to her practically being my Mistress. There were definitely aspects of the original dynamic that I missed, and would love to find again.

As for jealousy...at the time, I can remember having jealous "moments"...(as in "Man, I wish that was *me*!") but it never seriously impacted my relationship with either of them. However, I can say, with all honesty, that a plural relationship is one of the hardest things to maintain. It requires a lot of trust, and if one person breaks it, the whole thing crashes down.

Good luck, Psy...have fun in the search, and take your time. *hugs*

Before I answer, I have a question for you, Psynymph- when you say you are in a poly relationship, but don't have a sister, what does that mean? Is it what some would call an "open" relationship (within D/s, I would understand it's controlled by Azrael.) just curious.

Anyway, well, you may or may not have read my post on polyamory in a thread started elsewhere on the topic... but I have recently begun in a new relationship- a triangle, as you said. One master, two slaves.

She and I are both equally loved by Master, I'm sure (and I'm always asking questions to make sure- yeah, I'm a little high-maintenance lol). They did have their relationship stable (3 yrs) before I came in- I think you're right about that- it's important for you and Azrael to be strong together first- unless you and your sister were coming to Him at the same time.

But anyway... although my relationship is new... the way it's been so far has been... equal... between the three of U/us. joie and i love each other- in a sisterly, nurturing way... i could never dominate her, nor she i, because neither have us have those desires or ever have had dominant desires in our lives.

At the same time, we both love Master and focus on Him. i see our triangle as a planetary system: Master is the planet, and we are the moons around Him... something like that. we (joie and i) never and i don't foresee us ever bumping heads... because we have a common goal: to serve and please our dear loving wonderful Master :) And so of course, allowing strife between joie and me would certainly upset Master... W/we three would all squash it by talking about it. Master is always willing to communicate with me on these things- and i'm constantly asking all kinds of things. But W/we, Master really, would never allow anything to build up.

So... the trick is to have a good master who can handle two slaves, or subs- b/c yes, that is a lot to do. That master should be very communicative and encourage communication between the triangle, and work on ways to nip anything in the bud- because if the three of you really love each other, and the two slaves really love the master... why should there be any problems that can't be worked out?

Sorry... I hope this made some sense... :)

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Originally Posted by mari<MSBermes>

Before I answer, I have a question for you, Psynymph- when you say you are in a poly relationship, but don't have a sister, what does that mean? Is it what some would call an "open" relationship (within D/s, I would understand it's controlled by Azrael.) just curious.

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Well yes pretty much. As i mentioned before i'm not a jealous person by most normal standards. i have this weird fetish where i actually enjoy watching my Dom or lover play with someone else. Plus i am very bisexual. i also believe that one person cannot fully and completely satisfy the needs of another person. i know alot of people will balk at that idea but it's simply what i believe. Most of us all have a HUGE variety of tastes and interests and it's simply illogical to think that a single person can encompase all of those.

Both me and Azrael feel the same way. We have rules and guidelines that we have both discussed, to help prevent anybody from getting hurt, but also to make sure everyone stays safe.

I's definitely not something for everyone, but it works for us. We both know that ultimately we will share something, most things intimately with just each other than no other's may see.

Hope that helps! :)

Psy did a pretty good job in describing our relationship. Yet I figured I would take it a step further. Granted in our relationship, as the dom, I will always have control over certain aspects. One such thing is that if she does meet someone else she would like to experiment with, she must come to talk to me first. However that does not mean I am not going to deny her that right. The only reason I would deny it would be for something that was a huge safety concern. As for the jealously issue, I have no complications with it. For I know that ultimately I am the guy she strives to somewhat submit to. I also enjoy our type of relationship for the learning purposes. As psy had stated... no one can satisfy another person 100%. Through this, if she was to have fun with other men/ women and was to discover something she really liked, I would have the chance to know what that one thing was and learn how to pick it up.

As she said our relationship is not for everyone. It takes two individuals being very open and understanding. In my eyes it is worth it though. Knowing a submissive can be active with several partners and return to you in the long run is something I myself find very gratifying. Oh and watching is something that is fun as well.

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Originally Posted by AzraelCoburn

Psy did a pretty good job in describing our relationship. Yet I figured I would take it a step further. Granted in our relationship, as the dom, I will always have control over certain aspects. One such thing is that if she does meet someone else she would like to experiment with, she must come to talk to me first. However that does not mean I am not going to deny her that right. The only reason I would deny it would be for something that was a huge safety concern. As for the jealously issue, I have no complications with it. For I know that ultimately I am the guy she strives to somewhat submit to. I also enjoy our type of relationship for the learning purposes. As psy had stated... no one can satisfy another person 100%. Through this, if she was to have fun with other men/ women and was to discover something she really liked, I would have the chance to know what that one thing was and learn how to pick it up.

As she said our relationship is not for everyone. It takes two individuals being very open and understanding. In my eyes it is worth it though. Knowing a submissive can be active with several partners and return to you in the long run is something I myself find very gratifying. Oh and watching is something that is fun as well.

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If you have mentioned it, I have missed it but I would like to know would that third party have to be submissive to you? Or could it possibly be another Dom?

The civil definition of a sister sub would relate to the fact that, yes she would be submitting to me as well. It's one big happy family in a round about way. However if my dearest Kitten chose to play with another sub outside of my ownership, that would be her call. Yet once more keep in mind that would not be defined as a sister sub, more so a sexual partner.

I do know of a Dom with two live in submissives. This to me is a polyamorous relationship.

They have been together for about 4 years now, and their dynamic is very interesting to watch. He does Dot over them both, yet there is a hierarchy for them.

I believe there is a thread on here talking about poly relationships, but since I wasn't able to find it.

http://www. xeromag.com/fvpoly.html