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i am a 27 year old submissive from the UK with very little experience and i want to find out if it is common for girls to want to be dominated by much older men, i am only interested in older men aged between 55 and 90, i feel a bit ashamed of my desires but i cant help myself, am i alone or are there other girls out there who feel the same way? id love to hear from men too, anywhere.
You mean father figures and headmasters? It's as common as dirt.
A lot of people mentally associate a few wrinkles with maturity and authority, when all it really means is that we didn't wear sunscreen when we were your age.
Not that it isn't a good fantasy. The distinguished older gentleman and the matronly Mistress both have a lot to recommend them.
(southwest England means Cornwall and Devon?)
Quite the catch-22 for us 19 year old whippersnappers, isn't it?
I know what I want right now... Not terribly sure of what I'll want in a few years, But I could plan a month's worth of fun evenings right here and now if I needed to.
@Andibabe: The dom who was your own age, was he a 'dom' before you met him? Or was it a normal boyfriend you tried to submit to?
I'll be the first to tell you that I've got no hands-on experience. Maybe a little, I'm learning quite a bit about the mental and relational dynamics with an online sub right now and loving it, but that's not technically hands-on.
Ah well, here's hoping to submissives falling from the sky when I'm 50!
Quote:
Originally posted by andibabe
And the boy....he's someone that has an interest in bdsm, but never had any real life experience, until me.
ouch! "boy"! poor sod must have stepped on his dick several times while trying to play with you to warrant that... *shrug*
Rituals of service eh? I can understand that. Being young and virile, I know sex is probably a much larger part of any relationship for me (and my kind) than it would be for someone who was in his fifties.
Code:"You can serve dinner later, right now I've got a more pressing matter for you to take care of"
*same scene, different line, same net outcome every few hours all night long*
I guess I'll just have to prey upon subs who have similar experience levels when I get back home... >:)
I'll stop talking before I taste too much shoeleather.
I'd love to have details of just what exactly you mean though.
"To hear of another's mistake is to prevent your own"
as to where i got that from... I suppose i was looking more at the age aspect and less at the experience one. I thought, "hmm, what would be the largest difference between me and a guy in his fifties?" and immediately came up with "Well, my equipment works better, but he's probably got more control of his..." And thus an assumption was born.
I'm a card-carrying member of the "young, stupid, and almost certainly wrong" club, so you'll have to excuse my witless banter, k?
"young, stupid and almost certainly wrong" -- up here in the great white north we say "young, dumb and full of cum".
If my own experiences are any indication, Tiny, you can probably do it more often, but he probably does it better.
True, andibabe, but just because an older dominant knows what he wants does not mean he knows what you want. Sure, he could have a number of years practice at being more sensitive to your needs and also a number of years experience at making wrong asumptions.Quote:
Originally posted by andibabe
Mostly, older dominants have more experience, and know what they want. A dominant can't be a good dominant unless he knows what he wants - and most don't, at the start.
Speaking from the point of view of limited experience with older masters I have to say it all boils down to character and personality. Everyone is different.
Everyone is different.
For example: Me.
By the time I was andibabe's age, I'd already had an ongoing BD relationship for nearly two years.
By the time I was 21, I had been in two kink relationships; one BD, the other fully BDSM.
By the time I met FF at age 25, I had not been in another BDSM relationship, except for maybe casual play, that I can think of (my brain's going; that age thing, you know?)
The reason for that wasn't because I couldn't find a DS partner, it was just that I'd started exploring other aspects of my life and was in a mostly vanilla relationship.
Now, I have been in a long-standing DS relationship for the last five years. By most peoples' standards in the BDSM/fetish/kink community, I am still considered to a be "young dominant" because of my age. It seems like most in the community don't respect dominants unless they're 45 or older. Don't ask me why.
However, despite my age, I have been practicing and researching BDSM tips, tricks, and techniques for fifteen years. I have spent more time in and around the BDSM lifestyle than most of those 45 year old guys that seem to get so much respect and adolation for their experience and opinions.
So, I wholeheartedly agree that everyone is different, especially their experience.
Hell, I was over 30 before I even THOUGHT about anything to do with BDSM. When I did get the urge, I spent a long time researching, attending public gatherings on the east coast, and lurking on the Web. When I finally took the first step, answering a personal from a woman wanting to be spanked, I found that it really was the "real world" and haven't looked back since--enjoying all everyone has to offer.
First of all, I would like to say to rosie, if older men are your thing, go with it. To each their own.
But to everyone, since this thread has a bit of drift to it...
Age does not equate to wisdom. Not even for Dominants. Nor does youth equate to blindness. There are young Doms and subs out there who are wonderful in thier roles and conversely there are those with a few more years who still are clueless. Whatever, your preference, matters little in the big picture. Because, "...its not the years, its the milage...' that really counts.
LT
You're not alone by a long shot rosie. I feel the same way, though about older women. There's something SO sexy about a woman in her mid forties... when her hair has streaks of grey and she knows exactly what she wants and how to get it. Not to mention the sex drive! :D
Given the shades of the parent/child relationship that are inherant in some aspects of the D/s relationship, i don't think it is all that suprising that some submissives may gravitate towards older dominants....i certainly don't consider it anything to be ashamed of. :)Quote:
Originally posted by rosiewilletts
i am a 27 year old submissive from the UK with very little experience and i want to find out if it is common for girls to want to be dominated by much older men, i am only interested in older men aged between 55 and 90, i feel a bit ashamed of my desires but i cant help myself, am i alone or are there other girls out there who feel the same way? id love to hear from men too, anywhere.
sl
Hi Rosie,
You have nothing to be ashamed of. There's nothing wrong with being only interested in older men--like andibabe said, they can be "damn sexy". Harrison Ford, Pierce Brosnan, Mikhail Baryshnikov...yummy. But, to be fair, men of all ages can be equally appealing, in my opinion.
I can't say I feel exactly the same way as you do, but I am engaged to a man 23 years my senior. When he and I met, I wasn't looking for an older man (actually I was trying quite hard to avoid anyone more than 10 or so years older than me), but I decided to keep an open mind and give him a chance. Much to my surprise, we clicked and ultimately fell in love...and now I'm stuck with him. ;)
Though my experience is limited, I've been with Doms who were twice my age and those who were just as young as I was, and I can't conclusively say I preferred one age group over the other. They all had their own unique personalities, and personality has always mattered more to me than a Dom's age. But that's just me and my experience.
If older men are what you want, then go for it and see what happens.
-acissej
Ah...another topic I can post in. :)
I can honestly say that in my experience an older male/Dom is better for me. A lot of that is due to the amount of experience and maturity the Dom has. But even in the vanilla relationships I've had, ones with younger men just did not work. I've been told on more than one occasion that I was "too serious" or "too kinky" or "too weird" for that person. But now that I'm owned, I don't worry about being any of those things since my Master is just wicked...(tis a debate over who's more twisted though...hehe).
From what I've seen here and other places, lots of submissives like/desire older doms and it's something that is very common. Age is just a number...all that matters is that two people connect. :) I had an online dom once that was over twice my age...we still talk often because we became friends through our talks and my training. He still tells me that I seem so much older than I really am. :)
Atta girl Artemis-attest to the virtues of we older gents--we who know the nerve endings of a woman's clit eventually connect to the brain, we who know that if our women feel safe and loved there is nothing they won't do for us.
Quote:
Originally posted by Artemis
Ah...another topic I can post in. :)
I can honestly say that in my experience an older male/Dom is better for me. A lot of that is due to the amount of experience and maturity the Dom has. But even in the vanilla relationships I've had, ones with younger men just did not work. I've been told on more than one occasion that I was "too serious" or "too kinky" or "too weird" for that person. But now that I'm owned, I don't worry about being any of those things since my Master is just wicked...(tis a debate over who's more twisted though...hehe).
From what I've seen here and other places, lots of submissives like/desire older doms and it's something that is very common. Age is just a number...all that matters is that two people connect. :) I had an online dom once that was over twice my age...we still talk often because we became friends through our talks and my training. He still tells me that I seem so much older than I really am. :)
welcome back Artemis, nice to see you again, and while we are at the subject – it is not the age, it is mileage! And maturity – that not always is correlated to age!
i love young bodies, but i will submit to that One that will give me reason for respect!
Quote:
Originally posted by redEva
welcome back Artemis, nice to see you again, and while we are at the subject – it is not the age, it is mileage! And maturity – that not always is correlated to age!
i love young bodies, but i will submit to that One that will give me reason for respect!
Thank you redEva :) And you are right that it's the mileage not the age that counts. I suppose what I didn't say was that it's the maturity of the older male/Dom that attracts me the most. And I agree that to submit to that One, I also must respect him.
~Artemis~
<<Older men that take care of themselves are just damn sexy.>>
Not to mention older women, too ...
Actually, I like both older and younger subs. My longterm sub, Sylvie is actually about 6 years older than me. It's rather amusing to be domming someone older than me - I love it!
My newer sub is much younger than I am. It has been quite 'educational' seeing the different way she reacts to things. It has taken a lot of work to build her confidence up to the level it needs to be; her previous dom destroyed her self-confidence so much that I'd like to break his arms off and hit him with the wet end! Anyone who finds a sub who hates pain and then goes out of his way to inflict it deserves the worst that anyone can do to him. And no, he isn't that young, in his mid 30s, and doming for about 10 years, but they were definately a bad match. Unfortunately, she believed she deserved whatever he gave her, so it took a lot for her to break away.
It was really awful having a sub who was terrified of me to start out with, but we're coming along nicely now - as long as I remember which sub is a pain slut, and which one isn't :)
As an older Dom this thread is excellent news ... although I assume there comes a point when older is not quite so attractive ... probably when the zimmer frame/walker gets in the way !!!!
Oh, I don't know Wontworry. I'm sure a walker could be used as a bondage harness of some sort...
ohhh, now I'm thinking about the uses for a walker/frame. If it was one of those metal frames, the ones that come up to about crotch height, with the rounded tops where they are held ...
Sit,Girl!
I thought I had imagination .. but you girls are streets ahead !!!
When I make it to 95 I will come calling.