Body Size & Shape

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Originally Posted by TomOfSweden

I hate to be a Mr complainy.

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That was a fun smile. :)

Several years ago now, I watched an interview with Cindy Crawford (supermodel in the 90's). In the interview, she mentioned that some designers called her a "cow" because of her size and how her pictures had been nipped/tucked and airbrushed to make them look better. I thought to myself, "well, hell, if Cindy Crawford is a "cow" that needs air-brushing, what am I trying so damned hard for??"

I think we all have body image issues at points of times in out lives. We're egocentric creatures with fragile egocentricities, so it's inevitable that even if you have an "I make this look good" attitude, one day sooner or later you'll look in the mirror and think, "ugh, no I don't", no matter your body shape.

Attraction involves so many complex facets that limiting it to one component hinders the mindfulness of it all, but since the question was asked, I'll be a participant in the answering.

As for what attracts or doesn't (on a strictly physical level, I must add), I'm attracted to a shape that is well-proportioned- big or small, if the overall package is balanced out, I'm looking. Now balanced out or otherwise, I am not attracted to the great extremes of skinny or obese. That probably has more to do with what I see as planned unhealthiness than it has to do with attractiveness, though.

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Originally Posted by tessa

As for what attracts or doesn't (on a strictly physical level, I must add), I'm attracted to a shape that is well-proportioned- big or small, if the overall package is balanced out, I'm looking. Now balanced out or otherwise, I am not attracted to the great extremes of skinny or obese. That probably has more to do with what I see as planned unhealthiness than it has to do with attractiveness, though.[/COLOR]

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"Planned unhealthiness" I thought was funny.

I find that since I've become more active in the forums that my tastes have changed. Although I never did like the skin and bones look, I find more and more that I am less interested in figures and more interested in the personality and especially the level of submissiveness or dominance.

Kate Moss was never high on my list of beauties. Never could find attraction in a woman who was so thin that when I hugged her I could tough my own shoulders (kinda like trying to hug her but ending up hugging myself).

As far as invisibility goes, I think we see what we key in on and ignore the rest, though I suppose there are some who key in on whatever is vertical.

I don't care much about physical appearance.

What attracts me to a woman is more things like... how far she'll go to please me, a lack of limits, and to some degree naivete. Its been a long time since 'vanilla' sex could make me cum without a tremendous amount of concentration. I generally just find it unappealing.

To some degree, when I fuck a woman, its less the sensation of her holes or shape of her body that brings me to orgasm... and more the state of her mind. I don't know if that's clear; if anyone else understands what I mean.

I dont think it should be based on what a person looks like, it should be how they act and treat you. you could be so hot but so ugly, sure i dont want some one super skiny or very over weight, but it should be about respect.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person? I myself could lose some weight and I am working on it, but one of my girls would be considered a plus size girl and I find her down right beautiful and sexy. All of the women on my mother's side of the family are/were larger women, so it's what I grew up around. So yes I am attracted to overweight people.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
I like curves and something to grab on to, I am turned off by someone that is "thin", muscles are sexy, skin and bones is not sexy too me at all.


What body type attracts you most?
Healthy attracts me the most, someone fit, someone that exercises and has some muscles definition. I have been with all sorts of body types, and it also depends on the situation what attracts me the most.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life? That is a good question....I have always been super outgoing and never really let any doubts about my body hold me back from going after what I want.

I too understand where you are coming from... I am a plus size myself.

Here is what my husdand told me..

"I don't want a really thin person. Thats nasty. But I don't want to be with someone who is really large either."

I have spoken with him a lot on what a large person is. To him, it is some one who parks close to a store, so that they don't have to walk. Or someone who can't walk. Or gets out of breath walking a short distance. To him, HEALTH is attractive. He says he loves me, but wants me to lose weight, not becuase he feels I am fat, he loves my size, but he wants me to be healthy. For our future children, and for myself.

He also said though that regardless of size, confidence is key. He gets so mad at me for putting myself down. He says that if I am confident, and happy with myself, that you are beautiful at any size.

Now rereading this, I got annoyed with myself with all of the he said stuff, but its true!

I have seen so many times where a large women has a hotter guy, or goes on more dates, or just radiates with happiness! And that is confidence my friend. And confidence, and being happy with you, is key.

I am still overweight, but I am happy with myself. I love me! And when I keep that in mind, I get so much more attention from men and my husband.

Claire:

I've been very heavy and I've been fairly thin. I've fought the weight battle my entire life. Right now I'm heavier than I want.. but have some health issues that have to be dealt with to get back to where I want to be.
I feel better if I'm a "normal" weight. Yes, there is a bias against heavy people. Peronally, I recall (transfer myself into) my own history when I see someone who is heavy. High school was hell. Since you have someone who loves you as you are...WONDERFUL!!!

I am attracted to someone who is proportional. They can be heavy or not, but proportion is a key. My wife is now heavy. She also has BC. After all the shit is over, then we can start to change our lives. Has body size affected my/our love/sex life? Yes. But we manage. Not as well as I would like...but we manage.

My daughter is a BBW. But she has both the confidence and personality to be both sexy and gorgeous. (yeah, I'm her father. No, I don't have pedo tendancies. )


But a more important issue is your health. You can be large and still be healthy....or not. If you are having health issues...hypertension, type II Diabetes, edema or other quality of life problems, then you you might want to examine what you might do to correct them. All these things revolve around choices. It's simply a matter of: do you want to make the choice? NOTE: I didn't say it was an EASY choice! My expectation is that you might be experiencing clinical depression. I'd be surprised if you weren't. It's a bitch. It also compounds the very things you've brought up. You have my wishes and prayers for your struggle to find a comfortable solution. Not just been there...still there.

the Snark

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Please allow me to answer this as a couple not as one or the other. First and formost, NOBODY is perfect and I mean NOBODY.
Secondly most, if not all of the "GLAMOURS" are models and not really into our lifestyle and scream high maintainance.

Now my sub is shall we say "Packing Some Emergency Skin" yet she is the most sensational person I know, and wouldn't swap her for anything.
I on the other hand, am 6 years her junior and being an ex-footballer am typical of that build and at 46, the doctor gave me a major check up and stated that I'm as fit and healthy as any 26 yo. However I'm bald!
Rest assured, I am not going out and getting a wig, hair transplant or whatever.
In my opinion you get dealt your hand when you are born and you deal with it.
Clair, KUDOS for having the guts (honest, no pun intended) for bring this topic up, it's incredibly brave of you, as this topic is very prominant to us.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person? I personally find the person attractive, and in this case my sub is also attractive. See a pic at alt.com BorderCollie. I much prefer when surfing porn to look at amature sites 'cause they are REAL people. Take a look around a shopping centre one day and see exactly how many people, be it male of female are incredebly attractive or thin???
Most larger girls for some reason have incredible skin, and usually very pretty face.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person? It depends, usually attractive/thin people get around like a POX DOCTORS CLERK. They think they are just the best, when in reality they are a shitty person of shallow substance.

What body type attracts you most? I really like a real body shape, the kid of shape that will have a beer with you, be able to eat desert at a night out, and will also be comfortable nude and bound or whatever.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life? Hell Yeah! I'm totally bald on top, I'm not hung like a donkey (Mr Average if ever there was some) which my sub likes as she loves anal, but not with a huge gadget. Where all my muscles used to be when I was playing football, gravity it well and truley doing it's thing.

What are my subs major high points??? She is a kind, generous, happy person.
She loves bondage, has the cutes feet and I'm not a foot fetishest. A killer smile. Hands down my best mate ever!

Again, a brilliant topic. My sub does not think she is worthy and has low seld asteam, the fool woman is dillusional and thinks that every woman wants me LOL

Having been really skinny until I had my son, I´d like to comment on this, too.

Being skinny does not automatically mean you are confident and happy with your figure.
Being skinny does not automatically mean you are a member of the "I only had half a leaf of salad for lunch and want to be praised for it" club.
Being skinny does not automatically mean you are drug-addicted.
Being skinny does not automatically mean you look down on people who weigh half a pound more than yourself.
Being skinny does not automatically mean you have a bad personality or no character. For the ones who can´t refrain from making such utterances: I have been attacked by fat women more times I can count. Women I did not know and who had literally no way to know if I was a diet freak, suffered from Mega-Ego, or spent two thirds of my day in the gym.
To these women: Start working on your attitude, stop screaming you don´t want to be judged by your looks, start NOT TO jugde other people by THEIR looks, and maybe most important: Realize that you´ll get what you give. Be that positive or negative.
If you are not happy with your body, and can do something about that, stop the fucking whining, and do it, rather than bitching at thinner women, because that will NOT help your self-esteem. It will not make thinner women treat you friendly, and with respect, either - do you have a clue why that might be so? Yes? Good.

So, end of rant for that fraction of fat women I met.
I also met bigger ladies who were loved by literally everyone, who could get every man they wanted into bed (even if he claimed to be a skinny-girls-fan), and were great company and lots of fun.
They were confident. They knew they were not skinny, but they did not give a fuck. They felt comfortable within themselves. If they wished to be skinnier, they did not show it. Certainly they did not let it spoil their life or self-esteem.

I also met NORMAL sized girls (by normal I mean what a woman should look like in my opinion, with curves, and by curves I do not mean to euphemize too much fat. I mean a woman that looks like a woman without being overweight, period) who for some reason thought they were too fat, which was in the overwhelming majority of cases not the case.
Shockingly, these girls are the average, the absolute majority of the women I know.
I don´t see why women do this to themselves - look into magazines and feel bad because they are not the super-perfect models they can see there.
I know of not a single man who is that stupid. Neither do the men I know fret all fucking day about not looking like underwear models. NEITHER do the men I know expect the women they are with, or see on the street everyday, to look like the models in magazines.
Ladies - this troubling ourselves with not-looking-like-the-chicks-in-the-magazines is really, and truly, a habit we should get rid of. It spoils all the fun.

As for my own experiences: I hated being thin and had huge complexes until I was 19. Being skinny as a kid also means you have no big tits, and get your fair share of ugly treatment from your classmates or other teenagers for it. (Again, I cannot emphasize enough, not only the fat girls get to be the object of jokes.) In such a state, you do not take a compliment as a compliment - you only think people still wish to make fun of you, or they just say it to be nice.
For the greatest part of my puberty I also had glasses, and brackets on my teeth - do you get the picture? *lol*

I had my only serious relationship before the one I have now with a guy I greatly loved and who was smitten with my looks and figure (I had gotten rid of the glasses and brackets by that time, mind. *lol*). He would not stop telling me how good I looked. I did not believe it. I thought he just thought so because he loved me, so he was blind to the stick-like reality...
I later learned the greater part of my male friends during that time thought me hot... I never knew at the time.

If you wish to know what changed my self-perception overnight: I slept with my tattooist. A guy I was totally smitten with, and who had LOTS of beautiful women (models among them). I knew him well, I knew his tastes, and I knew he would not sleep with me unless he truly found me delicious, because he could have had simply anyone.
After that night, I thought "ok, I CANNOT be that crappy if he wanted me!".
No, I do not recommend sleeping with a tattooist if you have self-esteem troubles :-)
What I would like to point out is that this is the reason why all the reassurance an insecure woman gets from her loved one might not be helping - she will believe he only says it to be nice, or because he´s blind to reality.

All my life until my pregnancy, I wanted big tits. When I was pregnant, I got big tits, and after loving it for maybe 2 months, I came to hate them, and was glad when they were gone again. Men STARE at them before looking at your face (an experience totally new for me, and I hated it). Moreover, they are uncomfortable when sleeping on the belly, and they bounce painfully when you act as if you still had no tits worth speaking of, and jump down the stairs with no bra (I had not known this, either).

For now, since childbirth I have hips (before my pregnancy, I had no recognizable waist..) and a breast size I am very comfortable with.

As for the optical things that attract me:

I have always been optically enticed by women who look like women, meaning not like me, not sticky/skinny/bony/whatever you want to call it.
I tend to think women, no matter what they look like, think what they don´t have is what´s beautiful. (After all, same goes with hair. Curly women want straight hair, straight-haired women want curly hair, you get my point.)
I am not properly bi, though, I only like women´s upper halves... and of 100 people I look after, 98 are women, because I simply think women are more beautiful than men (to me).

As for men: My "type", as I used to have, was very tall and very skinny, preferably dark-haired and dark-eyed.
My hubby, on the other hand, is a tall, broad-shouldered giant who is described by one of my gay friends as "her hubby who looks like a bloody Viking".
Yes, I like long hair in men. Very much so.
I never fancied the hard-bellied, over-trained, slim, muscle-packaged sort of man which is used in fashion photos for men. To me, they always seemed artificial - like Ken, like Barbie, nothing I´d feel the urge to touch.

Valid for both sexes: I totally go for the eyes. If I don´t like these, I won´t fancy the rest, either, no matter how "perfect".

These were the optical things only.
But what triggers me truly is the radiance of a person. I cannot put a name to it otherwise, and I find it hard to describe. It´s not sex-appeal. It´s not simple confidence. I cannot name it, but I can say very few people have it. So I am not overly prone to cheating on hubby *lol*.
Apart from this, it´s voices that get me. Deep, raspy voices. The sort that usually belongs to tiny, ANCIENT men. *G* I would never do anything with them, but I go for these voices.

This was way more than what I had intended to write, but maybe one or the other among you finds something helpful.

@ Claire specifically: I don´t know why you posted this thread, except for finding out if there are men/women who fancy thick ladies.
Of course there are. Not even few. There are even webforums specially dedicated to BBW, at least that´s what I heard.

Nevertheless: If you don´t feel comfortable in your own body, 1,000,000 people telling you you look great won´t help.
It´s your own image that matters. Not anybody else´s.

My teenage female friends were always on about how they would love to be as skinny as me. I did not get it. To me, they were beautiful, I wanted to look like them. They had curvy breasts, recognizable hips, they looked like women.

The right thing to do for you would be to work on your self-esteem, or on your weight, or both. Stop looking to other people for approval. They don´t matter.
You matter. Enough said.

Trust me, the prejudice against fat people is a pain in the fucking ass. No one takes you seriously, it seems, at least for me..

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person? Very, VERY attracted to heavy girls. I love big butts, but stomach pudge is like gah..The ubersexy to me. Don't ask why either, I got no clue.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person? Almost disgusted, to be honest. Especially those skeletal-looking things. I do, however, have this constant urge to break their ribs..

What body type attracts you most? Curvy, big hipped girls (preferably) with smaller breast.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life? Back when I was still trying to be "normal" (feminine, straight, so on) Yeah, no one looked at me twice. Ironically, now that I'm my own damn person, I'm known as a "gay of demonic charm" in that, there've been multiple straight girls who've had these weird little crushes on me. It's funny.

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Originally Posted by claire

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

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I'm repelled by fat people. I had some fat in-laws who would only eat at all-you-can-eat buffets, and watching them eat was positively disgusting. I've had fat friends that I've had to listen to them whine about being fat while doing absolutely nothing about it, except continue to overeat and not get up off their fat asses and take a walk. These same so-called friends would then feel the need to criticize MY weight, making all the comments listed above (i.e. you look like a heroin addict, you're too skinny, you need to eat, you make me sick, you look sick, men like a little meat on them bones) in order to make themselves feel better. I never once told them "you look like Shamu the whale, you're too fat, you shouldn't eat, watching you eat makes me sick, men like to be able to find the wet spot without having to roll you in flour first." That being said, all of my friends are overweight to some degree, and their weight didn't factor into my decision to be friends with them, which makes all those comments about "size 2s" being uppity and shallow extremely offensive to me since I am, in fact, a size 2.

While I'm on a rant, I'm sick of hearing "it's so easy for you" to lose weight, shop for clothes, etc. There's nothing easy about shopping for clothes! Since all the stores/designers have resorted to vanity sizing due to the majority of people being overweight, I now have to shop in the juniors' department because most stores don't carry many or any size 2 items. Luckily, I think the juniors' department has cute shit, and I don't like to dress like a stuffy old lady. Even then, I still have to try on 20 pairs of jeans to find 2-3 pairs that fit because the same size in the same brand doesn't necessarily mean anything.

Also, there's nothing easy about loosing weight! I have to stop overeating just like everyone else when I'm at the upper limit for my height. Just so you know, I'm 5' 2" with a small bone structure. My weight range, according to the Centers for Disease Control, is from 100 to 120. Over 120 is considered "overweight." I watch what I eat when I need to. I have walked 5 miles 3-4 days a week to burn calories because I have an extremely sedentary job. The point is I don't sit around whining about being overweight for too long before doing something about it. I'm not one of the lucky ones who can eat like a hog all day and not gain an ounce. I make an effort to stay at a healthy weight because it affects my self-esteem, and if I become obese, it will affect my health since type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart disease run in the family.

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Originally Posted by claire

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

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I'm repelled by thin, bony, frail-appearing men. It's just not attractive when a man is as skinny as I am.

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Originally Posted by claire

What body type attracts you most?

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Muscular male bodies with broad shoulders and chest, tight abs, thick arms and thighs. *drools* That being said, I've been with slightly thin men, athletic men with a body to die for, and chubby men. In fact, both my current partner and the one just before are chubby. As soon as we started dating, they began worrying about their weight. They want(ed) to "look good" for me. I assured them that this "size 2" isn't quite the uppity, shallow person y'all have made her out to be. I value what's on the inside more than the outside because no one is perfect, least of all me. But if Daddy wants to drop 20 lb to look buff for me.....I say yay for me!

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Originally Posted by claire

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

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My body issues have never affected my love/sex life. I don't have to do it with the lights off or under the covers. My partners generally don't complain about the way I look, although I had one of the hunky athletic types tell me even though he knew he wasn't supposed to say so that I actually look good with a little more weight. I'm conscious of the white stretch marks on my hips and breasts from pregnancy and the once-full C cups now flaccid As, but I don't let them stop me from having a good time.

I tend to the "chunky" myself. Adore women on of like caliber. To me there is something absolutely stunning about a "Reubenesque' slave in restraint, either leather or chains.

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Originally Posted by claire

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

What body type attracts you most?

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

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I used to think I was only attracted to tall, athletic men. This is true of men I don't know. But I came to understand that the right personality always overwhelms everything else. I've dated short and I've dated fat. And, at the time, I was bemused with myself that I didn't actually care. It seemed odd even to me how hot I thought they were but that didn't change how hot I thought they were.

My own body issues have affected my love/sex life. I became less wanton about sex until I took the weight off. I was too self-conscious.

Do you exercise? I really can't recommend it enough. And I don't mean it as a weight loss tip. Regular exercise might make you lose weight if your weight is the result of a sedentary life but not if you have a food issue. What it will do is improve your confidence, your energy level and your self-esteem. Even if you remain overweight.

I couldn't care less about your weight. But there is no reason for you to be so full of self-doubt. Especially since you're with a guy who finds you hot.

Exercise.

It probably won't make you thin but it will make you happier. Also, try to add omega-3 fatty acids to your diet. That should improve your attitude as well. Walnuts, avocados, oily fish like Salmon and Tuna and Halibut.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I am attracted to fit men. I am not repelled by bigger people. I am turned off if they don't take care of their body image. (Same with thin people. i.e. Wearing decent clothing, matching socks...that kind of thing). I personally wouldn't have a relationship with a bigger person because I need someone who pushes me to be healthier. I am a curvy girl, I could stand to lose 20lbs and both my parents are very overweight. I really need to keep myself healthy and I want a healthy partner because I know my parents don't do some things they would like to do because of their weight. (Not to mention health issues - my mom had two hip replacements before she was 50yrs). I would never be disrespectful to people who are overweight because I have multiple close family memebers who are bigger and no one ever really knows what is going on with someone. People who are bigger aren't always bigger because they are lazy...and I truly hate it when people think that.


Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
I would not use the word repelled at all...but I am not physically attracted to them.


What body type attracts you most?
Athletic. (But they can do their running alone). Haha.


How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
I don't have one of those. Drat.

But I would try not to let my weight affect my sex life...which is one reason I want to lose a few pounds. I need to be more comfortable with myself if I want someone to be comfortable with me.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
What I consider repulsive is lack of hygiene. For instance: An obviously large women who is clean is worth a second look.

And yes, I am physically attracted to "fat" women.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
Weakness is not attractive in the least. There's a fine line between weakness and submission - Only the best women walk the later.

What body type attracts you most?
Round in the hips, thick legs, bright in the head.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
No. It hasn't. So I can't possibly relate to what you're feeling, Claire.

I will however say that I saw the pictures you posted in the self portrait section. . . very nice.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

No

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

No

What body type attracts you most?

I have never had a type. When I was in my teens... I liked a guy who was 5'10 and a 38 waist and I also liked a guy who was 6'3 and a size 29 waist. I am not bi, but if I find a woman attractive, often times its her face that I look at. Anybody size can be attractive to me.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
When I was a teen, I'd always want to be like my thinner friends. But they were always saying they wanted to be like me. I realized that no one is ever 100% happy. And there is not a perfect body size or shape. What looks great on one may look awful on another. I think ideally I find women who are a size 8 - 12 attractive (As to what size I would like to be) and men about a 34-36 waist. But I certainly do not have limits at to what I find attractive or not.

For me, people have always told me that I radiate confidence. I laugh loudly. I walk into a room with my head up. I try to never pre-judge and befriends with anyone. I have fat days.. ugly days.. crappy days.. like everyone. But, I know over all, I am really pretty to some people. Other perhaps not, but to each their own, I am not attracted to every person.

I love being naked in my own home and am completley comfortable around my husband being so. He loves me, although he is not a BBW lover or chuBby chaser, but he fell in love with me. He said for him it all stops at the face. Thats what really attracts him in a womans face, so even if her body is amazing, if her face is not, its all over.


I do want to lose weight, but for my own health. I don't care about fitting into anyone elses mold of what they think I should be.

And I do agree, that slamming slender people is not appropriate. My best friend is 5'7 and a size 1 and she eats non stop and cannot put on weight. She cries because she wants to put on weight and cannot and used to beg to have an arse like mine ( while I begged to have a waist like hers) .. Just like being called fat can be hurtful, so can being called skinny or boyish. In my opinion, it really does have to do with whats on the inside. I can find something attractive in nearly any person I meet..

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I tend to notice a persons face before anything although I will admit, someone who is overweight to the point of unhealthy is a definite turn off for me.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
Really the same answer as above.

What body type attracts you most?
This is a tough one for me to answer because I do tend to notice the face first, I have been in a position where I have seen pics or talked to someone and have only been able to see their face...i decide than if I find them attractive or not, before even knowing what their body type is. Again I have to admit, I do enjoy having a peek at the yearly firefighter calendar LOL but in reality I can't imagine ever wanting to be with someone who looked like that, to me they seem so fake...I like real.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
I was always overweight until after my divorce (amazing what getting happy did for me) I began losing weight without any effort and my confidence soared and more weight came off....I felt great, not only physically but also emotionally, friends complimented me, guys started to notice me (or I started to notice them noticing me) I had about 20 more pounds to go to reach my goal (I'm only 5'3 so 20 pounds is a lot I think) and noticed that male friends of mine began offering me treats...food, I though this quite odd until one day a male friend of mine told me "do NOT lose any more!" I couldn't believe it and started looking around and talking to guys, noticing what they seem to like....and what I noticed is that many are just like me...they like the calendar pics but they don't want one of their own. I did lose about 5 more pounds and stopped there....I'm happy now with how I look :) and I think the confidence on my face is often what gets me noticed more than anything else.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I believe its whats "inside" a person that really counts

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
see question one

What body type attracts you most?
On men it would have to be thier jaw line and shoulders, also the eyes i love the beast behind thier eyes (and a good sized dick doesnt hurt lol), with sapphotic encounters i am most attracted to a sensuous "giving" mouth, slim wrists, nice tasting toes and bueatiful necks, in any case the rest of the body can be varied to a rather large extent, if anything i marginalize over specific features not the overall shape
How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
yes i am allways affriad that i look too skinney, but my eating disorder would make more sence to me if i was worried that i was to big instead, mabey i dont eat enough becuase i am a masocist, but i have lots of body image issues, i have had a lot of corrective surgeries to repair cosmetic damage that i endured a few years ago

i have been "big" as far back as i can remember... from when i was a lil girl... my mother says i started gaining weight when they put me on meds for my asthma which was really bad. pregnazon or something like that...

so being big is something i have had to deal with and i hate it. i wish i could be like these other chick ya know... blah... its whatever.... but onto more serious stuff...


when i first got with my Sir i was so self concious... i wore two shirts and pants all the time. Sir then started ordering me to wear a skirt unless i asked not to. so i slowly started to like my body more to where shorts and skirts... and now Sir is working on me being naked infront of Him without any problems... thats hard but slowly im becoming secure in my body... dont get me wrong i wish i could lose weight and it will be a long time before i can stand in front of Sir completely naked... He isnt going to like that but i cant help it. i have hid myself for 18 years now... and its weird showing my body to people....

i myself like thick people. my first girlfriend was thick... but she was beautiful. when she passed away i knew no one else could be as beautiful as her. never dated and never dated and then i met Sir. everything changed....

girl dont worry. im sure you are beautiful... better to be thick and beautiful than skinny enough your ribs show... Sir always says He doesnt want a skinny girl cuz He feels He has to feed Her.. plus with D/s... she'd break.. lol.. kidding but dont worry. your Sir took you as you are and He knew how you looked.. so let Him have what He "signed up" for....

much love///

.x.Cole.x.

I'm attracted to people's minds. Everyone says it but I can prove it: my partners have ranged from tiny to tall and from skinny to huge, and I thought they were all beautiful.

I first contacted my late slave-wife by post, back in the ancient days when we exchanged bits of dead tree and it took a week to get a reply, and she told me she was fat but I just said "so much more to enjoy". And when she finally sent me a photo she must have chosen the most unflattering one she could find as a test, because it made her look like a weather balloon with a tennis ball on top. (At that time she used to wear her hair militant-feminist short, which suited her like high heels on a duck; I changed that right away.) And I looked at it and thought "That's different, but I can learn to love it." And I did.

I don't know about the US, but in England there seem to be more XXXL women in the BDSM community than I meet anywhere else, and without exception they are proud and confident as well as sexy. (A remarkable number of them are running our clubs and munches and the like.) Maybe it's because most BDSM people don't measure sexual attractiveness by how closely you fit the media body models, but by more personal tests like how well you project dominance or submission, or whether you can take or give pain creatively and effectively. Size is a practical detail, not a deal-breaker.

Say it loud, you're big and proud!

Hey:-)
I think that every body type has its perks and downfalls. I personally don't really notice weight all that much. For me cleansliness and health are much more important. It is also important to me that you love yourself and rise above your phyiscal shape. I think that the only reason weight should ever become an issue is when it become physically debilitating or medically dangerous.
Of course my body issues affect my relationships. I am not fat, but I am not really skinny either. I guess I have what can best be described as an hour-glass figure. I have big boobs a thin waist and big butt. I am really athletic, so really i don't have all any medical body problems. I am really insecure about my figure though. When I wear a dress that looks sophisticated on my sister (she has a model type figure), I end up looking like a slut. Since I like to wear pretty dresses, I end up getting a lot of rude stares and inappropriate comments from people that make me feel really insecure at times. I try to rise above it though and just wear what I like. I guess what I'm saying is that every body type has its own stigma attached to it.
That by the way includes the popular model figure. I know becuase my sister, who is practically perfect by today's standards, also has body issues. If you let your life be dictated my your figure you will never be happy. No matter what you look like, there will always be something that makes you feel insecure if you let it.

I'm a little baffled by the folks bashing the thin people... and this is coming from someone who envies their metabolisms, but also understands it's usually harder for thin people to gain weight than it is for overweight people to lose weight (excluding any medical conditions)

I'm not skinny, will never be, and have to work really hard to be a size 6 or 8 (which I'm working on again! haha) on a 5' tall frame. But I love my body when it's in shape. The key being in shape and healthy. I'll never weigh 110 lbs- in fact, I would look unhealthy and very underweight since my frame is petite, yet quite curvy and hourglass-like. (SyvieA- I know what you mean. A simple dress on a less curvy female looks downright slutty on me!)

Someone said earlier (Tessa maybe?) about being healthy. I concur. For some folks overweight, they are on medicine that no matter how healthy they are, they'll still be overweight... But yeah, if you're eating 4 plates at the all-you-can-eat buffet... you're not being healthy. And I wouldn't be attracted to a man that did that. We owe it to our bodies and psyches to treat them properly, which doesn't necessarily mean one has to be perfectly in shape and ripped. Personally I prefer a little meat on the bones.

What I'm attracted to: personality first, but physical appearance is important... though that comes in many forms. Often personality makes an "average" looking person super hot in my mind. Body-wise, I like a man that looks like he could throw me up against the wall... and hold me there whilst he defiles me :)

If you don't want to be bashed for being pudgy/chubby/overweight/obese, don't bash someone for being thin/skinny/svelte. I'm feeling bad for the thinner crowd. Such stereotypes and presumptions are being made of their personalities and values which seems really unfair.

Most importantly, you do need to be happy with yourself. If you're not happy with your weight, do something about it. If you're happy, rock on.

I've been fat for the past 12 years or so. It started out with finding emotional refuge in the fridge and then the hormones during puberty kicking in. All in all, I've hated my body and felt embarassed by it ever since i can remember. It's the only thing i can't stand discussed, I can't stand shopping for clothes, I have never allowed anybody to see me naked! Sex has always been a no-lights-on-whatsoever experience for me.
Nonetheless, I've attracted people which I always found odd seeing that 'for crying out loud, you honestly shouldn't like me and get hard!'
Slowly I'm coming to terms with it--but very, very slowly. My mother told me something that i think i'll share and maybe it may mean something to you too: 'your body is your safe haven. it's what protects your feelings, your brain, it's what allows you to act and to show who you are. it's NOT who you are. you're a cucoon where a butterfly is waiting to be hatched. but maybe you're one of those special butteflies that doesn't need nor want to hatch in order to show its true colours'

On another topic, i've never been attracted to thin men, even though i've been with a few. I'm attracted by dominant men, and, most of the times, kinda BIG dominant men, partially because it gives me the safe feeling that they can actually handle me, they can move me and they can hold me if i fall!
I don't want to sound fake, but because i've had my share of rejection because of my body, i've stopped looking at other people's bodies. I now tend to focus more on how the person makes me feel inside, that nice knot in my not-so-flat-stomach and the urge to look at my feet or stare at the ceiling rather than how much he weighs and how often he works out!
:) xx

Ooh, interesting topic.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by claire

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

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As long as they are physically able and active, I am happy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by claire

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

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See above.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by claire

What body type attracts you most?

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Anywhere from slender to muscular to chubby.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

I am in the middle. I am at the smaller end of bbw, but too chubby to be in the thin group, buff legs and arms, chubby middle, wide hips and bust. I have my days where I feel insecure, but generally, I am just horny and don't think of my body type too much.

I used to be on medication for an illness and I gained a LOT of weight (more than 80 lbs within 2 months!!!). People assumed that I never exercised, or sat around eating McDonald's all the time. After getting off the meds, I lost most of that weight, but that experience taught me to mind my own business because I may not know what is going on in a person's life.

I'm actually with Arria on this one.

Are you just feeling self conscious about your own body because there are people out there who don't like the way you look? If you are having problems with the way you look, a hundred people saying that you look fine isn't going to make you feel any different. Perhaps you should seek support somewhere that specifically caters to people like you who look a certain way that is commonly considered as 'ugly' in todays day and age.

"The prejudice against fat seems to be deeply embedded in our society"

If you know this then why are you asking us such a question? Does our opinion really matter? We're only with you online. You have to 'live' with 'our society'. 100 people saying fat is okay doesn't hold a candle to the billions of people who says it's not. If you don't like the way you look either change it or get over it. This is a personal problem or yours and it's yours alone. I'm sorry but this kind of subject is the kind I cannot stand. It's best to keep neutral people out of it because no one likes hearing about how someone is having body image issues. You have to solve this problem on your own or with a support group. You shouldn't drag others into it.

Claire, *Big Hug*

You sound like you want and deserve the truth....so here goes!

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Attracted to fat person: NO.
Repelled by fat person: Sometimes...but that's not there fault, it's my fault for forgetting... from time to time... that they have feeling too and may have
a reason for being the way they are.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

Attracted to thin person: I used to think i was because that's what everyone told me was right....but No...not really....some thin women can be a bit obsessed with being thin....and yes...i know there is a name for it....but it don't mean i have to like it.

Repelled by thin person: NO.

What body type attracts you most?

I like natural women with curves in all the right places, not affair to go out without make-up on, happy in her skin, not scared to laugh out loud and joy to be with. Have you see any lately?....or are they all trying to look like the top models in the mags?

Thin want to be fatter, Fat want to be thinner, Tall want to be shorter, Short want to be taller, Brunette want to be Blond, Blond wants a Brain!!!!

I don't think anyone is happy in the skin anymore, everyone wants to change something, when the only thing they have to change.....is there attitude to themselves and others around them.

Be happy in your skin Claire. :wave:

love & hugs
Snake

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ~Snake~

Thin want to be fatter, Fat want to be thinner, Tall want to be shorter, Short want to be taller, Brunette want to be Blond, Blond wants a Brain!!!!

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That is so not funny, :p. Just because this blonde who wishes she is taller (and to have smaller boobs, since we are at it - because then her life would be perfect, :rolleyes:) has lower levels of eumelanin than some people means... :blurp_ani.

^^^ See Claire..... ^^^^ no one is happy in their skin...
always trying to get into someone else! *WEG* :rolleyes: