Body Size & Shape

@ Claire specifically: I don´t know why you posted this thread, except for finding out if there are men/women who fancy thick ladies.
Of course there are. Not even few. There are even webforums specially dedicated to BBW, at least that´s what I heard.

Nevertheless: If you don´t feel comfortable in your own body, 1,000,000 people telling you you look great won´t help.
It´s your own image that matters. Not anybody else´s.

My teenage female friends were always on about how they would love to be as skinny as me. I did not get it. To me, they were beautiful, I wanted to look like them. They had curvy breasts, recognizable hips, they looked like women.

The right thing to do for you would be to work on your self-esteem, or on your weight, or both. Stop looking to other people for approval. They don´t matter.
You matter. Enough said.

Trust me, the prejudice against fat people is a pain in the fucking ass. No one takes you seriously, it seems, at least for me..

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person? Very, VERY attracted to heavy girls. I love big butts, but stomach pudge is like gah..The ubersexy to me. Don't ask why either, I got no clue.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person? Almost disgusted, to be honest. Especially those skeletal-looking things. I do, however, have this constant urge to break their ribs..

What body type attracts you most? Curvy, big hipped girls (preferably) with smaller breast.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life? Back when I was still trying to be "normal" (feminine, straight, so on) Yeah, no one looked at me twice. Ironically, now that I'm my own damn person, I'm known as a "gay of demonic charm" in that, there've been multiple straight girls who've had these weird little crushes on me. It's funny.

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Originally Posted by claire

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

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I'm repelled by fat people. I had some fat in-laws who would only eat at all-you-can-eat buffets, and watching them eat was positively disgusting. I've had fat friends that I've had to listen to them whine about being fat while doing absolutely nothing about it, except continue to overeat and not get up off their fat asses and take a walk. These same so-called friends would then feel the need to criticize MY weight, making all the comments listed above (i.e. you look like a heroin addict, you're too skinny, you need to eat, you make me sick, you look sick, men like a little meat on them bones) in order to make themselves feel better. I never once told them "you look like Shamu the whale, you're too fat, you shouldn't eat, watching you eat makes me sick, men like to be able to find the wet spot without having to roll you in flour first." That being said, all of my friends are overweight to some degree, and their weight didn't factor into my decision to be friends with them, which makes all those comments about "size 2s" being uppity and shallow extremely offensive to me since I am, in fact, a size 2.

While I'm on a rant, I'm sick of hearing "it's so easy for you" to lose weight, shop for clothes, etc. There's nothing easy about shopping for clothes! Since all the stores/designers have resorted to vanity sizing due to the majority of people being overweight, I now have to shop in the juniors' department because most stores don't carry many or any size 2 items. Luckily, I think the juniors' department has cute shit, and I don't like to dress like a stuffy old lady. Even then, I still have to try on 20 pairs of jeans to find 2-3 pairs that fit because the same size in the same brand doesn't necessarily mean anything.

Also, there's nothing easy about loosing weight! I have to stop overeating just like everyone else when I'm at the upper limit for my height. Just so you know, I'm 5' 2" with a small bone structure. My weight range, according to the Centers for Disease Control, is from 100 to 120. Over 120 is considered "overweight." I watch what I eat when I need to. I have walked 5 miles 3-4 days a week to burn calories because I have an extremely sedentary job. The point is I don't sit around whining about being overweight for too long before doing something about it. I'm not one of the lucky ones who can eat like a hog all day and not gain an ounce. I make an effort to stay at a healthy weight because it affects my self-esteem, and if I become obese, it will affect my health since type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart disease run in the family.

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Originally Posted by claire

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

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I'm repelled by thin, bony, frail-appearing men. It's just not attractive when a man is as skinny as I am.

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Originally Posted by claire

What body type attracts you most?

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Muscular male bodies with broad shoulders and chest, tight abs, thick arms and thighs. *drools* That being said, I've been with slightly thin men, athletic men with a body to die for, and chubby men. In fact, both my current partner and the one just before are chubby. As soon as we started dating, they began worrying about their weight. They want(ed) to "look good" for me. I assured them that this "size 2" isn't quite the uppity, shallow person y'all have made her out to be. I value what's on the inside more than the outside because no one is perfect, least of all me. But if Daddy wants to drop 20 lb to look buff for me.....I say yay for me!

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Originally Posted by claire

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

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My body issues have never affected my love/sex life. I don't have to do it with the lights off or under the covers. My partners generally don't complain about the way I look, although I had one of the hunky athletic types tell me even though he knew he wasn't supposed to say so that I actually look good with a little more weight. I'm conscious of the white stretch marks on my hips and breasts from pregnancy and the once-full C cups now flaccid As, but I don't let them stop me from having a good time.

I tend to the "chunky" myself. Adore women on of like caliber. To me there is something absolutely stunning about a "Reubenesque' slave in restraint, either leather or chains.

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Originally Posted by claire

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

What body type attracts you most?

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

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I used to think I was only attracted to tall, athletic men. This is true of men I don't know. But I came to understand that the right personality always overwhelms everything else. I've dated short and I've dated fat. And, at the time, I was bemused with myself that I didn't actually care. It seemed odd even to me how hot I thought they were but that didn't change how hot I thought they were.

My own body issues have affected my love/sex life. I became less wanton about sex until I took the weight off. I was too self-conscious.

Do you exercise? I really can't recommend it enough. And I don't mean it as a weight loss tip. Regular exercise might make you lose weight if your weight is the result of a sedentary life but not if you have a food issue. What it will do is improve your confidence, your energy level and your self-esteem. Even if you remain overweight.

I couldn't care less about your weight. But there is no reason for you to be so full of self-doubt. Especially since you're with a guy who finds you hot.

Exercise.

It probably won't make you thin but it will make you happier. Also, try to add omega-3 fatty acids to your diet. That should improve your attitude as well. Walnuts, avocados, oily fish like Salmon and Tuna and Halibut.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I am attracted to fit men. I am not repelled by bigger people. I am turned off if they don't take care of their body image. (Same with thin people. i.e. Wearing decent clothing, matching socks...that kind of thing). I personally wouldn't have a relationship with a bigger person because I need someone who pushes me to be healthier. I am a curvy girl, I could stand to lose 20lbs and both my parents are very overweight. I really need to keep myself healthy and I want a healthy partner because I know my parents don't do some things they would like to do because of their weight. (Not to mention health issues - my mom had two hip replacements before she was 50yrs). I would never be disrespectful to people who are overweight because I have multiple close family memebers who are bigger and no one ever really knows what is going on with someone. People who are bigger aren't always bigger because they are lazy...and I truly hate it when people think that.


Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
I would not use the word repelled at all...but I am not physically attracted to them.


What body type attracts you most?
Athletic. (But they can do their running alone). Haha.


How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
I don't have one of those. Drat.

But I would try not to let my weight affect my sex life...which is one reason I want to lose a few pounds. I need to be more comfortable with myself if I want someone to be comfortable with me.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
What I consider repulsive is lack of hygiene. For instance: An obviously large women who is clean is worth a second look.

And yes, I am physically attracted to "fat" women.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
Weakness is not attractive in the least. There's a fine line between weakness and submission - Only the best women walk the later.

What body type attracts you most?
Round in the hips, thick legs, bright in the head.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
No. It hasn't. So I can't possibly relate to what you're feeling, Claire.

I will however say that I saw the pictures you posted in the self portrait section. . . very nice.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

No

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

No

What body type attracts you most?

I have never had a type. When I was in my teens... I liked a guy who was 5'10 and a 38 waist and I also liked a guy who was 6'3 and a size 29 waist. I am not bi, but if I find a woman attractive, often times its her face that I look at. Anybody size can be attractive to me.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
When I was a teen, I'd always want to be like my thinner friends. But they were always saying they wanted to be like me. I realized that no one is ever 100% happy. And there is not a perfect body size or shape. What looks great on one may look awful on another. I think ideally I find women who are a size 8 - 12 attractive (As to what size I would like to be) and men about a 34-36 waist. But I certainly do not have limits at to what I find attractive or not.

For me, people have always told me that I radiate confidence. I laugh loudly. I walk into a room with my head up. I try to never pre-judge and befriends with anyone. I have fat days.. ugly days.. crappy days.. like everyone. But, I know over all, I am really pretty to some people. Other perhaps not, but to each their own, I am not attracted to every person.

I love being naked in my own home and am completley comfortable around my husband being so. He loves me, although he is not a BBW lover or chuBby chaser, but he fell in love with me. He said for him it all stops at the face. Thats what really attracts him in a womans face, so even if her body is amazing, if her face is not, its all over.


I do want to lose weight, but for my own health. I don't care about fitting into anyone elses mold of what they think I should be.

And I do agree, that slamming slender people is not appropriate. My best friend is 5'7 and a size 1 and she eats non stop and cannot put on weight. She cries because she wants to put on weight and cannot and used to beg to have an arse like mine ( while I begged to have a waist like hers) .. Just like being called fat can be hurtful, so can being called skinny or boyish. In my opinion, it really does have to do with whats on the inside. I can find something attractive in nearly any person I meet..

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I tend to notice a persons face before anything although I will admit, someone who is overweight to the point of unhealthy is a definite turn off for me.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
Really the same answer as above.

What body type attracts you most?
This is a tough one for me to answer because I do tend to notice the face first, I have been in a position where I have seen pics or talked to someone and have only been able to see their face...i decide than if I find them attractive or not, before even knowing what their body type is. Again I have to admit, I do enjoy having a peek at the yearly firefighter calendar LOL but in reality I can't imagine ever wanting to be with someone who looked like that, to me they seem so fake...I like real.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
I was always overweight until after my divorce (amazing what getting happy did for me) I began losing weight without any effort and my confidence soared and more weight came off....I felt great, not only physically but also emotionally, friends complimented me, guys started to notice me (or I started to notice them noticing me) I had about 20 more pounds to go to reach my goal (I'm only 5'3 so 20 pounds is a lot I think) and noticed that male friends of mine began offering me treats...food, I though this quite odd until one day a male friend of mine told me "do NOT lose any more!" I couldn't believe it and started looking around and talking to guys, noticing what they seem to like....and what I noticed is that many are just like me...they like the calendar pics but they don't want one of their own. I did lose about 5 more pounds and stopped there....I'm happy now with how I look :) and I think the confidence on my face is often what gets me noticed more than anything else.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I believe its whats "inside" a person that really counts

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
see question one

What body type attracts you most?
On men it would have to be thier jaw line and shoulders, also the eyes i love the beast behind thier eyes (and a good sized dick doesnt hurt lol), with sapphotic encounters i am most attracted to a sensuous "giving" mouth, slim wrists, nice tasting toes and bueatiful necks, in any case the rest of the body can be varied to a rather large extent, if anything i marginalize over specific features not the overall shape
How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
yes i am allways affriad that i look too skinney, but my eating disorder would make more sence to me if i was worried that i was to big instead, mabey i dont eat enough becuase i am a masocist, but i have lots of body image issues, i have had a lot of corrective surgeries to repair cosmetic damage that i endured a few years ago

i have been "big" as far back as i can remember... from when i was a lil girl... my mother says i started gaining weight when they put me on meds for my asthma which was really bad. pregnazon or something like that...

so being big is something i have had to deal with and i hate it. i wish i could be like these other chick ya know... blah... its whatever.... but onto more serious stuff...


when i first got with my Sir i was so self concious... i wore two shirts and pants all the time. Sir then started ordering me to wear a skirt unless i asked not to. so i slowly started to like my body more to where shorts and skirts... and now Sir is working on me being naked infront of Him without any problems... thats hard but slowly im becoming secure in my body... dont get me wrong i wish i could lose weight and it will be a long time before i can stand in front of Sir completely naked... He isnt going to like that but i cant help it. i have hid myself for 18 years now... and its weird showing my body to people....

i myself like thick people. my first girlfriend was thick... but she was beautiful. when she passed away i knew no one else could be as beautiful as her. never dated and never dated and then i met Sir. everything changed....

girl dont worry. im sure you are beautiful... better to be thick and beautiful than skinny enough your ribs show... Sir always says He doesnt want a skinny girl cuz He feels He has to feed Her.. plus with D/s... she'd break.. lol.. kidding but dont worry. your Sir took you as you are and He knew how you looked.. so let Him have what He "signed up" for....

much love///

.x.Cole.x.

I'm attracted to people's minds. Everyone says it but I can prove it: my partners have ranged from tiny to tall and from skinny to huge, and I thought they were all beautiful.

I first contacted my late slave-wife by post, back in the ancient days when we exchanged bits of dead tree and it took a week to get a reply, and she told me she was fat but I just said "so much more to enjoy". And when she finally sent me a photo she must have chosen the most unflattering one she could find as a test, because it made her look like a weather balloon with a tennis ball on top. (At that time she used to wear her hair militant-feminist short, which suited her like high heels on a duck; I changed that right away.) And I looked at it and thought "That's different, but I can learn to love it." And I did.

I don't know about the US, but in England there seem to be more XXXL women in the BDSM community than I meet anywhere else, and without exception they are proud and confident as well as sexy. (A remarkable number of them are running our clubs and munches and the like.) Maybe it's because most BDSM people don't measure sexual attractiveness by how closely you fit the media body models, but by more personal tests like how well you project dominance or submission, or whether you can take or give pain creatively and effectively. Size is a practical detail, not a deal-breaker.

Say it loud, you're big and proud!

Hey:-)
I think that every body type has its perks and downfalls. I personally don't really notice weight all that much. For me cleansliness and health are much more important. It is also important to me that you love yourself and rise above your phyiscal shape. I think that the only reason weight should ever become an issue is when it become physically debilitating or medically dangerous.
Of course my body issues affect my relationships. I am not fat, but I am not really skinny either. I guess I have what can best be described as an hour-glass figure. I have big boobs a thin waist and big butt. I am really athletic, so really i don't have all any medical body problems. I am really insecure about my figure though. When I wear a dress that looks sophisticated on my sister (she has a model type figure), I end up looking like a slut. Since I like to wear pretty dresses, I end up getting a lot of rude stares and inappropriate comments from people that make me feel really insecure at times. I try to rise above it though and just wear what I like. I guess what I'm saying is that every body type has its own stigma attached to it.
That by the way includes the popular model figure. I know becuase my sister, who is practically perfect by today's standards, also has body issues. If you let your life be dictated my your figure you will never be happy. No matter what you look like, there will always be something that makes you feel insecure if you let it.

I'm a little baffled by the folks bashing the thin people... and this is coming from someone who envies their metabolisms, but also understands it's usually harder for thin people to gain weight than it is for overweight people to lose weight (excluding any medical conditions)

I'm not skinny, will never be, and have to work really hard to be a size 6 or 8 (which I'm working on again! haha) on a 5' tall frame. But I love my body when it's in shape. The key being in shape and healthy. I'll never weigh 110 lbs- in fact, I would look unhealthy and very underweight since my frame is petite, yet quite curvy and hourglass-like. (SyvieA- I know what you mean. A simple dress on a less curvy female looks downright slutty on me!)

Someone said earlier (Tessa maybe?) about being healthy. I concur. For some folks overweight, they are on medicine that no matter how healthy they are, they'll still be overweight... But yeah, if you're eating 4 plates at the all-you-can-eat buffet... you're not being healthy. And I wouldn't be attracted to a man that did that. We owe it to our bodies and psyches to treat them properly, which doesn't necessarily mean one has to be perfectly in shape and ripped. Personally I prefer a little meat on the bones.

What I'm attracted to: personality first, but physical appearance is important... though that comes in many forms. Often personality makes an "average" looking person super hot in my mind. Body-wise, I like a man that looks like he could throw me up against the wall... and hold me there whilst he defiles me :)

If you don't want to be bashed for being pudgy/chubby/overweight/obese, don't bash someone for being thin/skinny/svelte. I'm feeling bad for the thinner crowd. Such stereotypes and presumptions are being made of their personalities and values which seems really unfair.

Most importantly, you do need to be happy with yourself. If you're not happy with your weight, do something about it. If you're happy, rock on.

I've been fat for the past 12 years or so. It started out with finding emotional refuge in the fridge and then the hormones during puberty kicking in. All in all, I've hated my body and felt embarassed by it ever since i can remember. It's the only thing i can't stand discussed, I can't stand shopping for clothes, I have never allowed anybody to see me naked! Sex has always been a no-lights-on-whatsoever experience for me.
Nonetheless, I've attracted people which I always found odd seeing that 'for crying out loud, you honestly shouldn't like me and get hard!'
Slowly I'm coming to terms with it--but very, very slowly. My mother told me something that i think i'll share and maybe it may mean something to you too: 'your body is your safe haven. it's what protects your feelings, your brain, it's what allows you to act and to show who you are. it's NOT who you are. you're a cucoon where a butterfly is waiting to be hatched. but maybe you're one of those special butteflies that doesn't need nor want to hatch in order to show its true colours'

On another topic, i've never been attracted to thin men, even though i've been with a few. I'm attracted by dominant men, and, most of the times, kinda BIG dominant men, partially because it gives me the safe feeling that they can actually handle me, they can move me and they can hold me if i fall!
I don't want to sound fake, but because i've had my share of rejection because of my body, i've stopped looking at other people's bodies. I now tend to focus more on how the person makes me feel inside, that nice knot in my not-so-flat-stomach and the urge to look at my feet or stare at the ceiling rather than how much he weighs and how often he works out!
:) xx

Ooh, interesting topic.

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Originally Posted by claire

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

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As long as they are physically able and active, I am happy.

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Originally Posted by claire

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

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See above.

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Originally Posted by claire

What body type attracts you most?

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Anywhere from slender to muscular to chubby.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

I am in the middle. I am at the smaller end of bbw, but too chubby to be in the thin group, buff legs and arms, chubby middle, wide hips and bust. I have my days where I feel insecure, but generally, I am just horny and don't think of my body type too much.

I used to be on medication for an illness and I gained a LOT of weight (more than 80 lbs within 2 months!!!). People assumed that I never exercised, or sat around eating McDonald's all the time. After getting off the meds, I lost most of that weight, but that experience taught me to mind my own business because I may not know what is going on in a person's life.

I'm actually with Arria on this one.

Are you just feeling self conscious about your own body because there are people out there who don't like the way you look? If you are having problems with the way you look, a hundred people saying that you look fine isn't going to make you feel any different. Perhaps you should seek support somewhere that specifically caters to people like you who look a certain way that is commonly considered as 'ugly' in todays day and age.

"The prejudice against fat seems to be deeply embedded in our society"

If you know this then why are you asking us such a question? Does our opinion really matter? We're only with you online. You have to 'live' with 'our society'. 100 people saying fat is okay doesn't hold a candle to the billions of people who says it's not. If you don't like the way you look either change it or get over it. This is a personal problem or yours and it's yours alone. I'm sorry but this kind of subject is the kind I cannot stand. It's best to keep neutral people out of it because no one likes hearing about how someone is having body image issues. You have to solve this problem on your own or with a support group. You shouldn't drag others into it.

Claire, *Big Hug*

You sound like you want and deserve the truth....so here goes!

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Attracted to fat person: NO.
Repelled by fat person: Sometimes...but that's not there fault, it's my fault for forgetting... from time to time... that they have feeling too and may have
a reason for being the way they are.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

Attracted to thin person: I used to think i was because that's what everyone told me was right....but No...not really....some thin women can be a bit obsessed with being thin....and yes...i know there is a name for it....but it don't mean i have to like it.

Repelled by thin person: NO.

What body type attracts you most?

I like natural women with curves in all the right places, not affair to go out without make-up on, happy in her skin, not scared to laugh out loud and joy to be with. Have you see any lately?....or are they all trying to look like the top models in the mags?

Thin want to be fatter, Fat want to be thinner, Tall want to be shorter, Short want to be taller, Brunette want to be Blond, Blond wants a Brain!!!!

I don't think anyone is happy in the skin anymore, everyone wants to change something, when the only thing they have to change.....is there attitude to themselves and others around them.

Be happy in your skin Claire. :wave:

love & hugs
Snake

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Originally Posted by ~Snake~

Thin want to be fatter, Fat want to be thinner, Tall want to be shorter, Short want to be taller, Brunette want to be Blond, Blond wants a Brain!!!!

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That is so not funny, :p. Just because this blonde who wishes she is taller (and to have smaller boobs, since we are at it - because then her life would be perfect, :rolleyes:) has lower levels of eumelanin than some people means... :blurp_ani.

^^^ See Claire..... ^^^^ no one is happy in their skin...
always trying to get into someone else! *WEG* :rolleyes:

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Repelled by them as people - no, I have plenty of friends, family and colleagues ranging from merely fat to super size whom I judge solely on their personality and intellect, just like everybody else.

Repelled by them sexually - repelled seems like such a strong and mean word, but yes. Its not them its me - I am a bit of a hygiene freak and I just cant get over those folds of flesh, large fatty stomachs, their navels, and for some reason I associate it with sweatiness.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

I don't think there is anything attractive about an anorexic, unnaturally skinny, gaunt looking women - all I see is the disease.

But again, as people - no, sexually/aesthetically - yes.

What body type attracts you most?

With men, strictly physically, for some reason I am affected by men who look like Jerry Seinfeld/David Copperfield/Ben Stiller - not too tall, darker skin, dark hair, medium build.
But I married a man who is a total opposite and am totally smitten by Him and enamored of His body, so that goes to show its all :icon176:.

With women - as long as they take care of themselves - its primarily their attitude and their personality. I am horrendously strict when judging myself, but with other women you could say I am (unintentionally/naturally) benevolent, I think they all look beautiful and its their character/charisma that determents their attractiveness.

If I like the aura/chemistry of the person...I find slim, medium, normal, overweight and those on the slimmer side of fat equally attractive.

I understand that illness and hormonal treatments cause gaining weight, but that accounts for what, maybe 1 to 10% tops of overweight people.

The majority of people are overweight because they don't do anything to try to change - they don't exercise, they eat wrong and they eat too much - instead they prefer to dream about one morning magically waking up skinny.

I am also not impressed with the "slap the skinny" b**ch fast some people have indulged here to make themselves feel better. I cant count how many times I have caught fat women starring at me with an acrimonious gaze, like its my fault. And I am not even skinny, I am a normal weight for my height and toned due to exercise.


How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

If my husband only thinks I am getting into my "ugly day" mood, He thinks its His duty to spank it out of me - thats how, lol.

I wish I was a little taller so I could hug and kiss Him when I feel like it, instead of having to ask Him to bend over. He's 6.4 and I'm 5.3.

Sometimes I obsess about the size of my breasts; they look great now, but I shudder to think where they will be in another five years, :eek:. And, a bit of an oxymoron, while I find fake breasts unattractive, I still :eek: because mine aren't gravity deifying, ball like monstrosities, lol.

With everything else, I'm pretty happy to be me. I have great skin, great hair and huge eyes, so I think it all balances each other out. I have never wanted to be anyone else, just to look my own best.

What bothers me is the uniformity of how models look. For instance I have been buying Cosmopolitan since I was 14 i.e. more than 10 years and I have yet to see a brown eyed model demonstrating eyeshadow for brown eyed women (!), the best they can do is hazel/green. Is that insane or what?

And why do all make up "advisers" think that brown eyes automatically means dark hair/dark-er skin? Pale people have brown eyes too.

And airbrushing is my pet peeve and weakness. It should be considered a criminal activity, at best its deceit. And yet, its how I think I should look 24/7/365. Intellectually I know that those women have no armpits, no knees, no freckles, no scars and that its completely unattainable - but still its what I have gotten into my head that men expect and want. My husbands answer to this rationale is a raised eyebrow.

It has no effect on my sex life, but it does effect on how I think people perceive me.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
This might sound bad or whatever but I am the a fan of the truth. I have never hooked up with a fat guy and I have no interest in doing so. Big guys are great who are built stocky but if they have a gut that like hangs or whatever it just repells me.

I'm not really into girls (most of the time) but in art I love the women with a bit of wobble on them they seem more real and more loved and more loveable. A flat toned stomache is a big turn on though *shrugs*.


Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

The only time I find a really thin chick attractive is in porn. Like because they just seem so breakable and vunrable. But then the rest of the time they just kind of look unwell.

And thin men. At the moment its not a go for thing but I used to dig it in my late teens.

What body type attracts you most?

Powerful musclar tanned. Taken care of in a rough way.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

Great now I have to talk about myself... So currently I am over weight. I weigh about 10kgs more then I think I should and it use to be more like 18kgs over. So I used to be a lights on girl. And now I am a hide under the blankets lights off girl. But that being said I am getting much more comfortable bringing myself back to were I think my body should be. All that said I will always (unless I get some eating disorder) have a big ass and chunky legs, a flat tummy and small boobs... but thats me and I found that everythings better when I go with what I've got instead of staring at someone else.

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Originally Posted by Lady Hecate

I have had men make disparaging comments about my body size/shape while I am naked in bed with them. There were at least a couple of guys who took one look at my naked body and said, "wow, you need more muscle tone."
And there was one particular ex who saw me naked, and just flat out told me that I am "huge." (Which I don't agree with, BTW, but whatever.)

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Wow.. way 101 for a guy to get chucked out of the house stark naked. Or hog tied with his underwear and left on the lawn, but perhaps im in a mood today *wry smile*.

Please, Madam, if there were anything they honestly thought was so wrong with You, then they wouldnt have bothered to make the effort to get into Your bed. i hope You didnt take any bit of that BS to heart because even if whatever flaw were real (which i sincerely doubt) there would be no reason or exscuse to be so impolite as to say so like that. It sounds to me like a trick to damage your selfesteem by someone with his own sexual problems (and typical abuser stuff by the way). Anybody else who found some suprise detail too objectionable would just make some exscuse and leave... which means this stuff wasnt You. It was them and their own problems with themselves. It's not my place to say but i think You're well rid of them, even though im sure it hurt You anyways which im sorry for *sigh*.

yeh, right on to what alpha_Straye is saying, i've thought of that a million times: if you can get hard then you don't get to complain. </rant>

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Originally Posted by claire

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

What body type attracts you most?

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

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I'm more prone to be attracted to someone who isn't overweight (truly overweight, not over the ridiculous standard set by models). If someone is overweight, then my level of attraction is affected by how they carry it -- I've known some who are very overweight but carry it in such a way that they're also very attractive ... I suppose it's a subjective thing.

I tend to be much harder on myself as far as appearances go than on what appeals to me in other people. Ragoczy never lost his desire for me when I topped out at a size 14 but I was not happy with myself and felt less attractive to him in my own mind. Oddly enough, I did experience the sensation of feeling invisible in public.

I am now down to a size 4 and I feel extremely attractive. I am not entirely certain that it is being thinner that causes me to attract so much more attention in public as that I *feel* much more attractive and project a lot more self confidence. I think *that* is what attracts attention to me and keeps me far from invisible.

As far as how body type affects my view of other people... I prefer men to be thin but muscled and definately defined. Women I like soft and balanced; well-proportioned. If she's big on top then she needs to be big on the bottom, too.

-kitten

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
not repelled but definately not attracted, i do have a huge fear of fat though
Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
im straight but thin ...very thin women attract me, but men just of an average size not fat or thin.

What body type attracts you most?
average, i dont like fat thin or muscly 6 packs

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
at times very badly, its never easy for me to be seen naked and never has been,i have an ED and when it's in full blown mode im terrified of anyone seeing or touching my body i dont even look at it myself lol which needless to say does not make sex easy or much fun :(
when you're visually and physically repelled by your own body its very difficult to be,feel or act sexual all you want to do is hide yourself away or cower in a corner and cry, and im embarrased to admit i have been known to do that.
and in D/s r/ships its even worse as you're not supposed to say no,or refuse to accept that your Dom/me thinks you're sexy attractive or whatever which then often leads to arguements or 'tellings off', so each time becomes more and more tense; for both parties.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I am not attracted to those that are over weight, and for the overly obese I am somewhat repulsed physically - but this does not make them a bad person.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
I am very attracted to women who are thin, or with slight curves. This is somewhat bias as I am a 6ft male with 150lbs that I carry around in body weight.

What body type attracts you most?
Skinny to curvy, as along as it is well proportion I am content.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
I am very confident in my love and sex life far as physical appearance. I tend not to dwell on my own level of physical attractiveness. I assume that if a tall skinny and mysterious man such as myself can get girls with out much effort on my part that I am doing well, and why question it? I realize that not every woman is attracted to by demeanor or body type, but I do have a niche market, and I am more then happy to shop there as well.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
i don't mind a little extra padding. i think it depends on their frame. Some people can pull off being bigger than others. i guess it just depends on how they work it :-P

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
once again, depends on how they work it. if it's a girl i prefer them curvy and a guy i like to have enough meat on his bones so i feel like he could overpower me and protect me but once again it depends

What body type attracts you most?
i'm not attracted to a specific body type it just depends.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
very much so. i was emotionally abused by my mom which drove me to bullemia. my low self-esteem made me aim for guys who treated me like crap. Master was the first to treat me good and make me see myself the same way He does

Thank you Claire for asking these questions.I guess I should start by saying I am BIG..*grin very BIG* and never fully felt comfortable with being big in the vanilla world. When I found BDSM I found ME. I found that most in the BDSM community care less for society imposed body norm and more for the ability and attitude of the person. One of my first ever public play sessions was at 2 of NYCs infamous BDSM clubs, and there I felt like a Goddess, I have never had so many men and women so openly desiring me it was an amazing rush. It will be so wonderful when vanilla meets BDSMsopeness and acceptance of any and all.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Physically, I am repelled by a fat person (though that terms seems harsh). From time immemorial human beings have been conditioned by nature to pursue and attempt to mate with the most "fertile looking" females. This insures that good genes get passed on down the line. I understand that this is a very pragmatic view but it jibes with how I feel and how my body tends to respond. When I see an hourglass shape, the swell of breasts, glowing skin, luxurious hair and other qualities indicative of beauty and good genes, I am very attracted. I know it sounds cruel, but...there is a lot of science behind this. Human beings are like any other creatures. As much as we can claim to be programmed by magazines like Maxim to accept one female body type as the gold standard for desirability, the truth is that Maxim is the proof of our programming rather than the cause of it. If the human race were inclined to be attracted to overweight people, we would be a race of extremely overweight beings by now, after a thousand generations of that bias.

I have had burgeoning online relationships end quite painfully because I wasn't attracted once the time came to take the next step and see what the other looked like. Painful, yes- but trying to supress tens of thousands of years of instinct is even more painful. In such cases I'm always careful to let them down as gently as possible. Though the question wasn't phrased to include this, I can't help but offer the caveat that a huge percentage of so-called attractive women tend to have unworkable amounts of self-esteem, rendering them very poor submissives, at least for my purposes. On the flip side of the coin, I have found that many women with body issues lack self-esteem and so are more natural submissives.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

If by thin you mean shapely and attractive, then yes. If by thin you mean as unreasonably thin as the fat person from the above question is unreasonably fat, the answer is no, for the same reason discussed above.

What body type attracts you most?

The fertile-looking female type that my mind is programmed to pursue.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

I think it's only pragmatic to judge oneself partially by the attractiveness of one's mate. This sounds like something out of National Geographic, but part of me feels like getting into a relationship with an overweight woman is akin to giving up- admitting that I don't have what it takes to attract a mate (preferably a submissive) who is attractive to me. As a result, though, I'm still single- so I guess I paid the price. On at least three occasions I've turned down chances to delve further into relationships because of the body type of a prospective partner. But that wasn't the question.

My own body issues have sometimes hindered my love and sex life as well. I'm not overweight, but my inability to find the perfect woman for me has sometimes made me wonder if, for some reason, I'm just not attractive to the opposite sex.

The last word I want to say on the subject is that there's a sort of sliding scale in play here, at least for me. The more perfect a woman is in terms of wit, kindness, uninhibitedness and sexual compatibility, the more physical flaws I'm willing to overlook. For perfect sexual compatibility I'd be willing to overlook quite a lot. Not that I expect to ever find that.

- FS

I'm big, but not just in the overweight sense. I'm ridiculously tall and really very muscular too, which means that I'm a true example of a BBW!

My partner is overweight, but that's not why I'm with him. I am not repelled by either overweight or thin and I've been out with both, but I'm pretty repulsed by a bigot (it's far more to do with the mind for me).

If picking eye candy, I tend to pick very tall, muscular and Scandinavian (think Magnus Samuelsson, the world's strongest man competitor).

Ironically my body image has improved dramatically as I've aged, bearing in mind that as I've aged I've gained weight (from being a model in late teens) and gained significant disabilities too. When I was younger and thinner I was desperately insecure and would never have worn a mini skirt or swimsuit unless it was for a job. These days I wear what I want to and people can either look or not look, as they see fit.

I'm not sure whether my no longer giving a toss about other people's opinions of me is due to aging or a product of having been seriously ill- either way round I'm quite pleased that it's happened because these days I'm free not to fret about whether I'm conforming to any sort of social norm.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

Im going to answer both at the same time. I am not particularly attracted to fat or thin women more then I am the other. The most important thing is that they are healthy and happy. I find someone who is happy much more attractive then one that is unhappy. The part of the answer that will probably answer what u wanted as a answer is that I think that women should be proportional. A bigger girl with no tits or ass is just not very attractive to me and a twig with DD+ just are unnatural and also not very attractive to me.


What body type attracts you most?

well lets start from the top down, I like long black hair with a cute face. The face is one of the most important areas to me if Im not attracted to your face it just isnt going to work out for me. I like big boobs ( but proportional so to go with the rest of what Im going to say well just say anywhere between Large C and F) torso,arms and legs should have meat on them but not over doing it.. something u can grab but I dont want it to feel like its the same consistency as there boobs all over there body.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

it doesn't I dont think about how I look when Im with my girl even though I wish I was skinnier and more attractive I dont let it bother me when me and her are having our alone time

The only thing I find utterly is the tall men and women who are very thin as in less than size 8. For one thing their thin stature ensures future health and memory problems. There is no way their bodies can store enough protein to protect their bodies and joints. My weight has been about the same for thirty years at least never varying more than 20 pounds. At my age i'm the same as every woman in the family and all have lived well into their eighties. It was only towards the end when they lost their weight the started breaking hips and things.Right now I'm size 16 side of size 18. Sure I find it hard to believe someone would find me attractive but the when I colored my hair a reddish brown to attend the annual reenlistment as a substitute teacher I looked at myself in the webcam and found a very cute woman looking almost twenty years younger than she actually is.

First comment: Almost without exception the women who have posted here saying they are bigger and proud of it have chosen an avatar of a thin woman. Why? i don't have an avatar because i haven't uploaded a photo yet, but if i was going to choose one that wasn't a picof me i would want it to represent me and what i believe. So if being a bbw and proud of it is important to you, why are you girls choosing avatars with thin idealised bodies?

In my opinion an attractive body is all about proportion. i have a friend who is 5 foot 10. She is carrying a fair bit of extra weight but it is spread evenly over her body and she looks fabulous, like a goddess. i'm only 5foot 3 so every extra kilo really shows. Again though, up to a point it goes on evenly and i still look good. At the moment though i am carrying extra weight around my belly, still there after my last child, and i won't really be happy with my body till i move it.

i was actually a bit heavier than i am now when my Master first saw me. We then lost contact, i had another baby and when we got back in touch i was smaller than i had been, although still not back to where my body was before having kids.

i have been trying to lose the last of the weight, He knows this and has been encouraging it. But the other night He asked me if i was trying to lose it for Him and told me that if that was the case i shouldn't, that he loves my body as it is (and i think He is worried that if i lose more weight more will come off my breasts - he is so greedy, they are dd, they can afford to lose a little!).

But i thought about it and i'm not trying to lose it for Him. i just don't feel like me while i'm carrying it.

So i told Him that and He's going to keep encouraging me and use His influence to make me stick at it - because He knows it is important to my happiness.

Body shape is important to me but body size really isn't - although once you pass a certain size it is hard to stay in proportion unless you are 7 foot tall!

I agree with I_27 that proportion is a critical factor in beauty. There was an excellent documentary presented by John Cleese "The Human Face" which went into the importance of proportion very well.

That said, for me big or small, tall or short is in itself unimportant but it does affect the body parts that get more attention and the activities I like to do with that particular gal - if a gal's got a big meaty ass then spanking is on the menu - if it's hard and bony then I will simply refocus elsewhere. I guess my ideal would be one of each size then I get to have a variety!

I feel as if i should at least say a few words. My entire life i have struggled with my weight. through bouts of anorexia and bulimia through school. even now i am not a small girl however i came to decide a few years ago that regardless that i dont look like the actresses on the big screen it was ok.
now i am very comfortable with my not so perfect but very sexy self and know now that while there are different ideals, your mind is the most sexy thing you possess, all others will fade with time.
Now that being said, i have been with the most beautiful athletic girls and guys to guys that my friends have said "why?"... and the answer was always the same.. it is how they treat me. weather they were fine or not so fine, the way i was treated was always the deciding factor. and from that stemmed all other emotions, sexual or otherwise.

but to answer the questions more directly: i am not repelled by a larger person (unless we are speaking "cannot get out of bed type large) but i am a little repulsed by the ones that allow themselves to become nothing more than a skin covered skeleton.
I am most attracted to healthy or a little heavy men (thick) and the same for women (but really really, is there such thing as a non-sexy woman? just my opinion) i like curves, and i like athletisism but a little weight is nice too (bigger boobs *wink*)
and myself? i am not small and i am not enormous, i am thick, curvy and sexy as hell! could i lose a few lbs? sure.. do i feel it would make me more confident in the bedroom? i sure as hell hope not! because someone is liable to get hurt!! hehe!! kisses and hugs to all you sexy ass people!!

Im going to chim in here.

I wasnt big all my life, i started to struggle with my weight when i was about 19. Ill be 24 in a few weeks. The weight struggle came from being teased about how "big" i was. Now let me give you an example of what i look like. I have big boobs *proud*, im 5'4ish, i have nice toned legs, and very skinny arms, so a lot of people would mistake my big boobs for being fat. It happened to me a lot. I mean A LOT.

I was in a bad relationship that left me feeling ugly and fat. I left that life and traded it for a new one, in a new city, with new people. *best desicion i ever made* With this change came a want to change the way i looked. I cut all my hair off, changed my style of clothing, and started to diet. *i was around 200 lbs at that point, and this was only back in January 08* Actually my work started the diet. It was a idea brought on by my bosses drive to lose weight. He made the "Chub club" 16 weeks, 5 dollars a week, lose 10% body weight, you win the money at the end, if 13 people did it the pot would be 1040, only one person lost 10% that one person would get all the money, more then one person wins, divey it up. I joined and won. I lost way more then my ten percent. I went from 200 lbs to 165. In 16 weeks. I cut out almost all carbs, i count calories, cut what i would normally eat in half, dont eat when im not hungry, work out twice a day..some people think im obesssed i just think its s drive to want to look and feel better.

Yes i lost a lot of weight but with that came more teasing, since i have big boobs *which are shrinking* people say i look like a steleton with boobs, or that i will just topple over, or that i am turning to dust. My best friend even calls me Ski N. AndBones, and or skeletor, or Bones. Not funny, and not cool. Hurts my feelings actually. So i guess u cant win if u are big or skinny. Most of the people that say theses are..big.

I hate the word fat, i really do. I think thats a cut down and makes the other person feel horrible. I never liked being called fat, so i wouldnt say it to someone else.

When I like someone, friendship or relationship, i like them for there mind, Like what Grapes said. Beaty fades the mind is ... til forever, (or until you die). I am not a shallow person. Ive been with big guys, small skinny guys, buff guys, medium guys, huge guys, and one skinny mini girl, they all turned me on in different ways. I am not turned off of bigger people, not one bit. I am not with someone, or someones friend bc they are skinny.

Am repelled by someone who is skinny, Not at all! Read above.



just my two cents.;)


correction: its not a diet i am on, its a lifestyle change.

Nice post. I agree. I hate the word "fat" and when I hear someone making mean remarks about someone being "fat" my respect and opinion about is shot down big time.

The club thing sounds like a great idea!

I am working on losing 20-30lbs. This summer was not good and I gained way too much weight. We had some family issues come up and I stopped working out (I did Pilates and 20-30 minutes on my elliptical machine) and because we did so much traveling there was a LOT of fast food going on.

I'm '5"2 so 10lbs shows quite enough. Thankfully I have a pretty even weight on my body so I always look 10lbs or more less than I am...but it still doesn't make it any better when I am looking at the scale. Or in the mirror.



(I think we should have a thread where anyone wanting to lose weight or is trying to be healthy can cheer each other on!)

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Originally Posted by hopperboo

(I think we should have a thread where anyone wanting to lose weight or is trying to be healthy can cheer each other on!)

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thank you Hopper :) I agree!! I know i wouldnt have won the chub club *chub club 3 started today also! here i go again!!* without the support of my friends and my co-workers. It was great. Youd hear people yelling "whats up skinny!!?" down the hallway at me, it made me feel rather good. :)