Love is hard...
Love defies all logic. If it didn't then none of you would do it."
- God, Joan of Arcadia (Feb 11, 2005)
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Love is hard...
Love defies all logic. If it didn't then none of you would do it."
- God, Joan of Arcadia (Feb 11, 2005)
Love is a madness, pure and simple. Sometimes things are made easier by accepting that. When we are in love our perception of reality is thrown out of kilter.Quote:
Originally Posted by learningtopleez
Even when we intellectually know we are doing the right thing, the heart can be so much stronger at making us do the wrong thing.
Whether you end up taking your brain's advice or you follow your heart, I hope it all works out for you.
Still without the madness of love, life would be so much the poorer and very impoverished.
Oh, ltp...*gives you big hugs*....reading that last post, it really hit home to me how fucking brave you are...it is SO hard to give someone up..to suffer withdrawal symptoms, when you 'could' have them back..whether or not it's the right thing to do....serious, serious respect.
As for love, heh, well, love is about taking risks...and love is never perfection, IMO, but it's about having enough and being cared for enough to cause other things to become insignificant...hence, it's not about you waiting for perfection, but waiting for someone worthy enough of your time and being good enough for the odd flaw not to matter. But right now, don't fret about all that, concentrate on you, i know that sounds trite, but you're a wonderful person and don't need to necessarily be sharing that to enjoy life, keep you all for yourself for now!
Love
lucy x
LTP, I hope you don't mind, but I asked Hunter to read this thread.....he said the following....
"This guy isn't a man, he's a little boy playing at being a man. A man wouldn't treat a lady that way. He's not looking for a lady in his life, he's looking for a dumpster. A place where he can push off all the shit in his life into someone else's. She's well rid of him. Good for her for having the balls to dump the bastard."
I pointed out to Hunter that you didn't have "balls"....lmao....he said, "Any woman that steps up to the plate that way and kicks someone like that out of her life, has balls in my book."
~~Hunter & nibbles~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora's Box
You have a beautiful way with words Pandora...And you always know exactly what to say! Bravo to you for the "so far I have!"
I'm ready for that ager to set in....it would really be nice to be mad and not to have all this aching inside! But you have told me it will come...so I will patiently wait! Thanks again Pandy! Hugs to you from me for being here for me!!
Nuff said Sir!! That makes all the sense in the world to me! Thanks again TG for making something that feels so complicated very, very simple yet true! :yourock:Quote:
Originally Posted by BDSM_Tourguide
I'll be following the brain's advice, no matter how much it hurts right now! I know he did not truly care for me. Who would wait until they are saying goodbye to tell you that they actually did have stronger feelings for you??? An idiot perhaps?? He knows I am a sensitive person and he knew how I felt even though the word love was never used. I said everything but that for fear that it would scare him off!! So he waits until I tell him no more to tell me that??? Just a ploy! I know this, yet still it hurts!Quote:
Originally Posted by ProjectEuropa
You are right though Sir...without love, life would be quite poor!
Thank you for your kind words! They mean the world to me!
~Ltp~
Thank you lucy for the hugs and kind words! I feel so honored to have your respect! Seriously...you have been one that I have admired since I joined these forums...you are making me feel special!! :pQuote:
Originally Posted by slavelucy
Btw...I will be concentrating on just myself for awhile! I'm soon moving out to live with a friend and co-worker....so no more annoying hubby habits to deal with! Only my children will come first, then school, then work....hell I won't have too much time left to fret!!...lol!! Thanks lucy! :)
Love
~Ltp~
Quote:
Originally Posted by erotic_nibbles
Well of course I don't mind nibbles sug!! Hunter is quite welcome to read anything I may have lying around! :p LOL Just teasing!
But thank you so much Hunter for all the sweet and kind things you've said!! It's always nice to hear a man's perspective and you have made me feel that I have done the right thing (even though it still hurts like hell :( )
And it was quite refreshing to hear I have balls...now I can post from a different perspective on nibbles thread "With or Without Testicles"! I think I'm with most of the guy's on this one...I'll take with anyday!! LOL
Thank you Hunter and nibbles for making my day!!!
Love,
~Ltp~
LTP you never fail to make me smile...........Quote:
Originally Posted by learningtopleez
Congrats on doing what you needed to, and big hugs cuz I know it's hard. I recently ended a 2.5 year relationship with someone whom I love and adore, but I know I can't spend the rest of my life with him. It's HARD, yes, but better in the long run.
And I can't give you any better advice than what you're already using for your signature line. Hang in there, and things will get better with time.
cg
*great big smartassy load of hugs*Quote:
Originally Posted by learningtopleez
if you ever need an ear, you can usually find me on yahoo :)
we should form a JSNTAW-club :cool:
As for love so for life. How many of us have regretted not taking a risk?Quote:
Originally Posted by slavelucy
One never regrets what one has done, one always regrets what one hasn't done. Well...at least for me.
Maybe I'm at that time of life. I'm glad of the risks I took, even if they proved foolish. My biggest regrets are the things I haven't done and was too cowardly to do.
When I look back I wouldn't do everything the same, I would take the risks I never took. Maybe this is another thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by craftygirl
Hugs right back atcha craftygirl! 2 1/2 years is a long time! Yes it is hard, but with all the support I have received from new and old friends here...I think I just might make it! I'm just ready to get to the place where I'm feeling that it will be better in the long run! I know, I know patience is a virtue! But I never claimed to be virtuous! :p Glad to know I make you smile! It's actually a part-time job I took on....making people smile....plus it make me happy...the pay sucks though! :D ;)
~Ltp~
Felt like adding my own say in this although I share the views that has been already expressed in this thread.
The guy was in this just for himself, that much one can see. Did he care about you? On some level he probably did but it was still mainly about him and himself with you more or less as an afterthought. Part of the whole domination/submissive aspect that I find so appealing is being able to delight and please the submissive partner, from that I get much of the satisfaction of the act knowing I could bring out such a sensation from my companion. Sure it is about getting sexual fulfillment for oneself too but it is a give and take situation to ensure both get exactly what they want and need.
Did he cross a line? Yes. It might be different if you liked how he was acting but since you did not and try to tell him so and the fact he dismissed it all shows he was at fault.
In such relationships the dominating member is often held responsible for the submissive partner in my view if nothing else since quite a few submissive people will be relying on the dominant member to act in the best interest of both.
When it is said and done you did the right thing even though it might have been hard, if nothing else you know you have friends here from the looks of things and hey no doubt a good caring Master shall step in, if not already did so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartass kitten
COOL!! Never had a big, smartassy load of hugs before!!! Thanks smartasskitten! You will be getting a knock on your yahoo door any day now!! I say we start up the club.....wanna join crafty??? :p
~Ltp~
Thank you Sir for your thoughts on my recent saga! It is nice to know that newcomers (LOL...that sounded kinky! I've been doing that a lot lately...sorry!) such as yourself would take the time to make me feel better! I appreciate your kind words! No Master yet, and I don't know that I'm quite ready for one anyway. I would want to be fair to him and myself, and until all this heartache ceases, I will concentrate just on my friends, my children, my work and school! Seems I would be too busy for heartache doesn't it?? But when the right one..."the one" comes along, I want to be rid of all past feelings, so that hopefully it will work. Until then....I'll just flirt and have fun! :p :DQuote:
Originally Posted by ObsidianCaine
~Ltp~
You're quite welcome :)Quote:
Originally Posted by learningtopleez
Just don't knock the door down :p
Hunter said to say...."Hell, Darling, women can have balls. They just have to dig a bit deeper for them than us guys do. Now that you've found yours don't let anyone bust them. I didn't really say much, but I'm happy if it helped at all."Quote:
Originally Posted by learningtopleez
~~Hunter & nibbles~~
OMG!!! They can be busted???? :eek: Just teasing you again darlin' Hunter! ;) And you said just the right thing! Thank you sweetie! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by erotic_nibbles
~Ltp~
Hell yah they can. Have you met my ex? That's how I knew it was time to amble on. Nearly every conversation ended with 'don't bust my balls'.Quote:
Originally Posted by learningtopleez
Tease away darlin I can take it.
Well, after (finally!) reading this thread, in my 'catching-up for my long absence', I just wanted to point out 1 thing.
Actually, there is a lot I want to add, but everyone else has already said it in one form or another.
Key word here, is IMO: RELATIONSHIP From everything I read that you claimed he said and did, then reading his 'good-bye' to you, this was NOT a relationship. This was a one sided affair (heehee it was an affair after all, you are married!) on your part, and he simply used you as a "dumpster", to fulfill some small part of himself.
Sounds to me that, he simply got tired of the maintenance. So very glad, honey, that you stuffed his garbage into his own dumpster. Hang in there, toots! Time really will heal this raw wound. And, the more you explore in places like this Forum, the more people you will meet, and someday, be able to find what will fulfill YOU! :D
And yes, BDSM makes for very, very strong relationships. It is a lot of work on both sides, but WOW!, worth it in the EXTREME!!!!
Welcome Hunter!! So glad you decided to drop in (and alone too ;) ) Just teasing you nibbles sug! :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Hunter
So if my new found balls can be busted, then I guess I'm gonna have to invest in a cup??? Hmmmmm...wonder if they make them in a nice pretty shade of pink...and maybe with little hearts on 'em?? LOL...Nah even I couldn't wear that!!
Great to have you here Hunter....and did I mention that I think the name you have chosen is sooooooooo sexy!!!!
~Ltp~
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katmandu
Thank you Katmandu! It is always helpful to read another's opinion! Everyone here has been so helpful!!! So now I need you guys to tell me...WHEN will I stop thinking of him and wanting him!? I know what everyone here has said. I know you are all right! But my heart is not listening! It is telling me to write him. To apologize for being rude to him. For never telling him I love him....is that why it didn't work?? OMG...this is the hardest thing ever to deal with and go through. My heart constantly aches for him. I have written a letter...BUT I have NOT sent it. Oh I want to...but I haven't. I just feel like a part of me is missing. So more advice please...I know I need to just get over it. But it's only been two weeks!
In your hands now....oh most wonderful family!! Thanks!
~Ltp~
It will take time.
It’s not getting over a past love in any way, it does take time, a lot of effort and more often than not a few tears. Hang in there though, you got people here and I’m sure a few guys would love to try and dazzle you too. The hardest part of getting over someone is not contacting them, I’m going to tell you now it’s best not to give in otherwise you will regret it. You must have strength. Believe in yourself. You can do it.
You got a lot of people here who will help you on the way, so feel free to speak to them when you must. They'll be there for you when you need it.
:eek: :eek: OMG he posted! :eek: :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunter
:eek: :eek: OMG you big flirt! :eek: :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by learningtopleez
lmao...just kidding!....sick him LTP...he needs it....<---snickering
Ok enough joking for now....LTP I know it hurts still....I would expect it to.....cause not only have you lost an intimate contact but an intimate BDSM contact....and those ties can be so hard to cut because they are just so delicious fun....but he was just no good as a person...keep telling yourself that....read and re-read that rotten goodbye he sent you.....and keep on keeping on!.....if you have to look in the mirror every morning and every night and say, "I did the right thing and I deserve so much better than him"...then do it!.....cause it's true...you're the best, Woman!....don't ever let any anyone tell you any different ....big nuggggggggggssssssssssssssss for ya
~~nibbles~~
LTP, you're in a very transitional period. It's not going to be easy.
Whenever you're feeling weak, perhaps if you ask yourself the following questions it will help:
~ If I contact him, will he magically change?
~ Will my apology do any good? Would he be gracious and suddenly transform into the man I need?
~ Will he suddenly recognize my pain and respect it?
~ Do I really miss him or do I miss my hopes for us in the past?
~ Am I sincerely sorry or do I just want the past that never existed back?
~ Is he healthy for me?
These are the questions I asked myself when I was in your shoes.
The answers for me were:
~ No he won't change.
~ No it won't do any good. No he won't be gracious and no he won't transform.
~ Even if he does recognize it, he won't respect it; give it and me the time I need.
~ I missed my hopes more than him. For with him, came pain. How could I miss pain? I wanted more for myself.
~ No I wasn't sincerely sorry, I just wanted my hopes back.
~ No he wasn't healthy for me.
I suspect your answers would echo mine.
If they do, then keep plugging away.
It's not a matter of getting past him, it's a matter of getting through this troubling time in your life.
And it will pass.
Like my mother says: In time, this too shall pass.
Oh Pandora!....I really like that reply :)....Good one!Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora's Box
~~nibbles~~