Hello all. I'm Miss Moth and I'm a Switch, leaning a bit more towards being Domme. BDSM has always been a major part of who I am, and I figure as a long time reader at the library, I might as well join the forum.
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Hello all. I'm Miss Moth and I'm a Switch, leaning a bit more towards being Domme. BDSM has always been a major part of who I am, and I figure as a long time reader at the library, I might as well join the forum.
I'm not 100% sure I would call myself a switch but I guess this comes closer than either of the other two categories. I've been interested in BDSM for a long time now and I'm a long time reader of the library. I'm an avid roleplayer and I can play both roles, although I prefer to play the submissive (although many of my roleplays are non-cons and thus the characters can't really be called BDSM submissives in the true sense). I'm also an avid consumer of BDSM literature. In real life, I have experienced BDSM as both a domme and a sub, In both cases, I have a bit of a bad habit of having my own urges switch in the middle of things which is never good, especially when I try not to show it. I have never been in a 24/7 D/s relationship in either role and, while I respect those who find fulfillment in that kind of relationship, I have honestly never felt a need or desire for one for me personally. I am also comfortable in vanilla relationships, sometimes with a little mild kink to spice things up. In addition to BDSM, I have something of a clothes fetish, especially regarding sneakers, socks and panties. I'm currently single. I consider myself a feminist but I understand it to mean that liberated women (and men) are also at liberty to submit, rather out of a submissive sexuality, a personal religious belief or whatever else, as long as its a genuinely free decision. So that's me in a nutshell. Hi.
hi :) interesting post...
Hello there
I'm a male
a switch I have a beautiful willing wife. Come here to experience new kind live.
Eager to recieve input
A switch here, mostly a bottom to play partners, I am now beginning to explore my Topping side in a play scene very soon, and is looking forward to it! :D
I have introduced myself properly here: http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...875#post513875
i am a 22 year old surfer from the beaches of southern california specifically the south bay. i am really interested in some fun and games without the work. i am really mellow and if you want to chat send me a message dont worry about anything im a nice guy and looking to meet new peolple in the los angeles area
I'm a twenty one year old flight attendant, originally from Tulsa. I've been in touch with my submissive side since I was a child, but only recently have I realized I have a powerful dominant streak. Both come very naturally to me, but rarely with the same person. At any rate, I like to chat with all kinds of people and learn about the fetish community, but let me add this... please no more PM's asking if I'm "a naughty whore who needs to be fucked." I find that presumptuous, not to mention silly. People who can be polite and respectful are invited to message me, though! :)
Funny how difficult a label can be. I guess I qualify as a Switch. While I have generally played the dominate role with past boyfriends, every once in a while I like to be lazy and let someone else make the decisions.
I'm in my 40's, and have been around the fringes of BDSM most of my adult life. Still a novice, if not a newbie, though. Enjoy the culture, reading and writing BDSM fantasies, and playing with the occasional guy or gal if the chemistry is right.
Lady C
Hey, Saucie. I couldn't agree more with your sentiments. Hello. :)
Hello! I am Alex. 28. I am interested in corporal punishment, especialy caning.
Hi everybody!
I haven't formally introduced myself in this thread, though I did introduce myself in the Introduction forum, so this seems just a tad bit redundant, but maybe its not.
First, I guess you can safely call me a newbie with this stuff, but a newbie who has given a great deal of serious thought to a wide variety of issues as they apply to my interest in s&m/BDSM. As a result of joining a different website, I currently have a wonderful telephone and e-relationship with a magnificent domme who seems quite interested in handling my subbie side. I truly don't think I could have asked for a person more fitting for me. We are in the early phases of making plans for a get-together, and I'm very much looking forward to that. I've also cultivated some nice e-relationships with some subbies. At this point, nothing in that area has become anything more than a casual passing interest (from both sides), but I have been received quite favorably by those subbies.
All of this has given me a chance to explore a lot of thoughts and ideas, but so far, there has been no opportunity for me to explore something in the "here and now", as it were. Admittedly, I'm still nervous about the possibilities, (and some of my personal circumstances do nothing but complicate both how I feel and how such situations might eventually play out) but I'm convinced I am headed in the right direction. Whereas before I was not certain I was truly ready to make such a personal leap, I'm quite certain I am now, and I'm both glad and relieved that I have finally begun to do so.
Hello Everyone,
Well I am just finding out a little bit about the BDSM in myself. I am open minded
looking to learn more about anything I can get my hands on. So hopefuly I can find someone to help me out. Thanks
Hi I'm Wolf101 and I thought Id ask yall about how easy or hard it was to find a partner. If you want to get to know me better message me.
Hi Wolf101!
Finding a partner can be a tricky process. It can take quite a bit of time and effort. Any potential partner worth their salt is probably not going to volunteer right away. They will want to get to know you a bit first, and in turn, you'll probably want to get to know a few things about them too. Appearing desperate is, I'm told, a surefire way to end a relationship before it begins.Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf101
I have no experience here, but I've been told that relationships between switches can often be quite tricky as well because, as a general rule, switches don't seem inclined to switch for each other very often. They often choose to find separate people to dom them from those they wish to dom.
One way to make this process go a little easier is to be willing to put out bits and pieces of information about yourself. For example, I have a blog on another BDSM web site and have been an active participant in that community for quite some time. When I got there, I was a complete newbie, and made a wide variety of newbie mistakes. However, I also took the time to sit back and watch and observe. Its amazing how much one can observe and learn from the actions and interactions of others. I've also been very clear on the type of relationships I was looking for, and have been able to express that in a chat room, in forum posts, and on blogs. The more of yourself that you are able to express (and it has to be truthfully!), the more likely people will be inclined to potentially take you under their wing. I am currently a subbie to somebody on that web site. The relationship took several months to materialize. (Read below for how I managed it.)
As a switch, I've been told that it is generally easier to start life out as a subbie as people will be less inclined to play with somebody they perceive to be inexperienced as a dom. I don't know how true that is, but that is what I've been told. Still, its not easy to find a good match. Be prepared to take your time, and just because somebody offers, don't feel like you are forced to give an answer right away. I've been solicited twice to Dom some people, and on both occasions, I've declined because, although I have the desire to explore that side of myself, I'm not sure I could do so if it was not the right person on the other end. So far, online, I've only met two or three people I might actually be willing to Dom. For various reasons, either because they were already committed or because of my own situational circumstances, it hasn't worked out for me yet. I'm hopeful for the future, but I'm also realizing I need to take my time here. Just as I feel I don't want to put myself in peril as a sub to somebody else, I don't want to potentially put somebody else in peril with me as a Dom if I'm not genuinely ready for that opportunity with the specific person involved.
In other words, try not to rush it so much. If you put out enough feelers and clues about yourself, eventually, people will want to get to know you on a more personal level. It never hurts to specifically ask, but don't do so too aggressively or you'll be likely to find yourself without any willing takers.
(Probably, this should be split off into another thread as it clearly will sway from introductions. Is there some way to do that?)
Hello,
I am trying my hand at 'switching'. On line switching. I was approached by a couple. She is his Domme/wife and he of course is her sub and husband in real life. She loves for me to tease him, then She reaps the benefits. I have given him a couple of tasks and I have given Her a few ideas.
It has me asking a lot of questions. I am researching, because I know this isn't on line for them. Thanks for all that have helped me. EIther through the forums or questions I have asked in email and pm's.
It is gratifying to know that I have brought them some enjoyment and a little education, and also very frustrating. *laffs* Hmmm I have never told them that.
There is so much talk about the 'gift' of submission and rightfully so, but I am also understanding more and more of what you Dominates go through. I don't think enough is said about that. That is quite a gift in itself. You all have my respect.
I am brand new here and for awhile I will mostly be quiet.I am not shy just cautious.I liken this to having been invited to a party and there is no one you know there.don't want to step on any toes.
I may not be a "true" switch but,my feeling is this,being a sub for someone that realy knows what they are doing can only make me a better dom.OJT,if you will.
R.L.
Welcome, y'all.
wolf101-it can be hard to find a r/l partner that meshes completely. I know for me personally, I'm about a 75/25 D/s. I domme in most aspects but like to let go and submit too. If I hook up with a complete submissive or a complete dominant, then my needs don't get met. You've also got to figure out if you can submit to someone you've been dominating and visa versa. I recomend forums like this to learn and seeking out events in your area (like munches). With a little luck and a lot of patience, your search will be rewarded.
rora, glad you're having fun and learning along the way. Sorry you're finding it frustrating (weg)--maybe its time to go r/l?
RL, I think learning from the bottom will help make you a better Top. Even now, I don't try anything out on my girl that I haven't experienced myself.
Hey, I’m a 21 year old college guy. I’m very new to this and concidure myself a switch mostly because I want to experance everything. The responces on here are really helpful, as is this website, Thanks All
Wow, I had no idea that I'd never posted here. I'm Phantome (aka Phan), and I'm a lady switch. *aknowledges applause* I am married to my high school sweetheart, who is also a switch. We don't lead a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle (mainly enjoying it in conjunction with our sex life), but we are always willing to try new things and are open to other lifestyles. We like spanking, anal play, corsets, and most recently, breast torture. We are both teachers, and enjoy the arts, history, traveling, and playing with our two rogue kitties. :)
-Phan, feeling a little bit like she's at an AA meeting
Hi everyone. I'm in a period of thinking a lot about my sexual needs and desires, and made this decision recently - to come out as a switch, and to look for a domme who can help bring out that submissive side in me. I've been dominant overwhelmingly in the past, but have had experiences with submission too, and enjoyed it a lot. This thing about sub-space is very powerful, it is a great freedom and a beautiful state. Problem is I guess that I just can't seem to keep it going - I reach a point where the buzz wears off and I may end up getting frustrated or just amused by the demands put on me. (Or if I'm allowed to cum, then I just loose the submissive feeling straight away.) I wonder if I am just too rebellious, opinionated, demanding to really be submissive? But I want to try it properly, as I find myself thinking and fantasising about submission more frequently of late. Do I just need to meet the right person who will know how to control me? Or, thinking like that, am I being too demanding again?
On another point, thinking about switching, I remember back to some of my earliest childhood (pre-adolescent) sexual fantasies. I wonder if other switches, or maybe even perverts more generally, felt/feel things in a similar way?
As I remember it, in these fantasy-scenes it didn't matter so much that I took a given role - submissive or dominant - in what was taking place. What I was doing as I was daydreaming was letting, telling, watching the scene unfold. I didn't have to be inside the scene myself. (Or maybe that makes me another kind of pervert altogether - a voyeur?)
Then actually, as I remember it, the first times I placed myself in a role within the scene, in my imagination, was that I took the part of the female being humiliated and dominated. The scenes were always hetero with the man on top, but I identified most of all with the female victim. This led me to even wonder at one point in my teens whether what I really wanted was to be a transvestite submissive, and I experimented a little with games like that, but found out that wasn't what I was after.
So as I got into actually doing S&M in real life I tended to take the dominant role, which maybe came easiest - e.g., I found most partners that way, and I got to take my pleasure. But could it be that what really matters to me is not my role in the scene but somehow the scene itself, the dynamics of domination and submission, the story, the event? Does that make sense to anyone?
Yeah, Delaquoi, it certainly does to me. I think the energy of the scene is a powerful draw. While I may be more dominant in the day to day aspects of our relationship, the story we write together goes where it will, with our roles changing as the energy itself ebbs and flows.Quote:
Originally Posted by Delaquoi
Hey Guys. I'm Mike. I'm a switch. And VERY easily approachable about it too!
Hey everyone. I'm Lei, I'm a switch, and I really enjoy both topping and subbing equally, though I have explored my domme side more thoroughly than my sub side. I'm new but really diggin' the BDSM jazz.
It would be too strange to say hello as I've been here for a while, but I was trying to where I fit in the general scheme of things.
When I first joined I knew I was a switch (can you tell ;)?), but had very strong Dom feelings. Then as time went on I decided I was more sub. Now I'm definitely a switch, and realize that my emphasis is probably going to move between two extremes. Right now, I'm comfortable with that.
I seem to be in the minority though, because I would like to switch within a monogamous relationship.
Hellloooo! My name is Ashley, and I am 100% about my Switchery! I can not stay loyal to submission, though I have certainly tried. I suppose I would be an extremely tough-to-teach full time sub. I just way too feisty! So, I found a nice niche in both worlds. I'm fully capable of taking control, even though I am, I suppose, mostly submissive. My partner does not like me to be dominant, so that's just a side to me left totally unloved. -big pout!-
Thanks for readin'! Muah.
Hi all my name is Angel and I am new to this site and this life style. I am not sure where I fit so this seems to be the place to start. I do admit that I have both Dominant and submissive qualities and when it comes to play I can assume either role. I'm looking for friends who are willing to assist me on this paticular path because to be honest I don't want to get into something I can't handle. I am extremely curious about everything and really want to fully understand the dynamics of both sides. I feel torn because I love to give in and to be taken but then I also desire and enjoy the control but feel really limited on what I know or the confidence to fully assume either role. I never thought I would ever feel this comfortable talking about my most inner desires as well as having resources and support to safley explore. I would definatley like to say thank you to this site and everyone who has helped me so far throught chats or forums. Any assistance or guidance is immensely appreciated.
Hi everyone, I'm Edie, I'm new to this site but I've been into BDSM (among other things) for a good while now. I'm very open about my sexuality and experiences and I really love hearing other opinions and experiences too.
Hello,
I prefer not to disclose my real name here, so I will go by Defiant Submissive. Although that is my chosen user name, I consider myself a switch with slight submissive tendencies. I love the idea of being in control of a man and then finally reaching his breaking point. When that point is reached, I would like him to take the control. Since the beginning of this fantasy goes completely against the ideas of most submissives, I call myself a switch. I am fairly new to the community, having only recently discovered that this type of relationship can be based in respect, love, and trust instead of low self esteam and abuse. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to contact me.
The name is Dart, I've got no experience except mental fantasies and what I've done to myself. All I know is that I have always instinctually known that power play is a powerful part of sex and relationships.
Hello all,
As obviously stated, I am one who walks the fine line of control. I have never had a master, and I have never had a slave. But the calling for both allures me. I have gone online and such but no major roleplaying or anything.
I am mainly a dom...that call has been with me from the moment I hit puberty. The carnal desire of finding prey and watching her (or him) squirm... the thrill of the hunt.
The sub interest mainly came from reading a book, Kushiel's Dart by Jaqueline Carey... it is actually a really good book, one of my favorites (and no, not because of its underlying theme... although that does help a little bit =p) I thought, maybe, if there is one who has the willpower and the strength to tame me... the thought is most definately a turn-on. But lo and behold, all the peeps so far has easily fallen prey.
I also think that, since I'm a newbie, it would be alot easier to see and experience how to Dom as a slave to a Dom. Any lady (or man) that could quell me would probably b a pretty damn good Dom, and so figure it out by experience I guess =]
I agree with jacktar... they do tend to look down on you as a switch... chin up my fellows! we are just more versitile.. they b jealous =p
hey. im Alexia. aka Miss Wicked. I am comfortable as a Domme. But the few times I have subbed for someone I really liked it. The mental control funner than the pain. But, those same times, My faithful sub was with me and the Dom controlled us both.. And I know that if he wasn't there, I would never have had the courage to do it. Part of what I found the best part was seeing my beautiful boytoy, happy as a clam, loving very much every minute of my 'suffering'. Part of what our Dom did was order me to be tay's slave. He more or less treated us both like barbie dolls. It was FUN! Anywho, Idk if that makes me switch. but it gave me a taste of the beautiful subspace that my starfire begs for.. omg.. hehe.
but i may have advice for switches.. .. .. find a switch, then take turns :D Haha :p
I'm a switch but with my last partner, I was the sub most of the time because he was a dom. Last night I got my first true taste of dominating and it was a rush. It was so hot I came three times before I let him cum. Holy fuck it was incredible!
I want to learn. I'm a total switch. It's all about the tease for me and must take at least 2 hours. I'm not sure just how far to go with girls before they need a rest then restart, but want to know for real, not what porn sites make you think. Not into pain or name calling,,, just bondage games.
Hello there, names scavanger, however I would prefer the name Jack be used, as it is the one I was given at birth. Im 20, and am new to the lifestlye, all I really know is that im not sure if Im 100% dominant, or 100% submissive, and to that end I found that At the moment I was able to enjoy both, so I call my self a switch, while Ive never had any experience with actual BDSM, and as such have no stories to tell, sorry guys.
but yeah I hope to learn things and eventually find my place int he lifestyle.
Hi, I am samm or just sam, and I have been reading and posting on this forum since a few weeks now. So I guess it's time I introduced myself a bit.
I am a 23 year old guy and not sure where I belong yet, since I have no experience playing with a partner yet, either online or irl. So that makes me even more curious ;)
I know my submissive side and the things I enjoy and fantasize about, but will have to find out sometime whether I have a Dominant side as well... you don't know if you haven't tried it and I think it could be the most fun for both when switching :)
I tend to use the word 'play' alot so I guess that describes my vision about bdsm: it should be erotic and fun in the first place! :)
All the regular info is on my profile and if not feel free to ask. Looking forward to meeting new people here and see you around on the forums and in chat.
My name's Thomas, I'm a switch and I have NO experiance at all! (yes I'm still a virgin)
:wave:
Hello, I'm Rex aka LostinVegas
I've had a lifelong interest in bondage and more.
Then I discovered D&s and it opened a whole new avenue of experiences.
I have tried both side of the rope (so to speak) and they both have their attraction to me.
But it seems no matter how much I enjoy Doming/Topping the willing Ladies I have come to know and trust, I always end up having the need to submit.
Hey everyone,
Switch hitter that is currently a domme to teach59....love owning him and having him submit to me...although it is wonderful....I will be a slave again when the right Master makes my heart pound...
Hia.
My name's Brady and I've been into bondage for most of my life.
I've tried both topping and subbing, online that is, and I really enjoyed both. I've got a little more of a submissive side but I've also been wanting to try to find my way in domming as well.
Hello amanda.......maybe you need a strict , but caring Mistress.I would consider you if the need arises....does this interest you girl?