Psychiatric Help- 5¢

Look who's talking LOL

What? I kind of thought I was the screwdriver.

Good thing it only costs a nickle for this help from what I've seen.

*chuckling* I know I might need a lot of sessions so I gave whoever the shrink is a dollar.

I was thinking about this. Do yo suppose I could get a deal and get two sessions for a quarter?

*rushes back in crying*

I ... I.... cant hold it back! I sleep every night with a sheep! *bursts into tears again* ohh please madame therapist, please help me.. *sobs* I saw this little shepherdess outfit and I couldn't resist buying it *hicups* But now all i can do is think of sheep! *squirms around*

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sheepishone

*rushes back in crying*

I ... I.... cant hold it back! I sleep every night with a sheep! *bursts into tears again* ohh please madame therapist, please help me.. *sobs* I saw this little shepherdess outfit and I couldn't resist buying it *hicups* But now all i can do is think of sheep! *squirms around*

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God, you really do need help. Where is that help?

Thanks guys... in my "sick" state... I needed this laugh. Only, laughed so hard it brought on a coughing spell. Thinking i might be able to file a malpractice suit against delia...hmmmmmm?

d2p (((((HUG)))) Welcome back. Now I have just one more thing to tell the therapist.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dzire2pleeze{M_R}

Thanks guys... in my "sick" state... I needed this laugh. Only, laughed so hard it brought on a coughing spell. Thinking i might be able to file a malpractice suit against delia...hmmmmmm?

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dzire.....i'm glad we could make you laugh....although it all comes from delia's sick little mind!!


and OMG....i laughed so damn hard i almost peed myself!!! LMAO!


Stay tuned dzire!

frankee, I think we should put delia on the Therapist's couch.

dude....i am not the one who's gonna do that!

*looks around scared*

Quote:

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Originally Posted by delia

~hellish, frankee and Rick gather yet again for a therapy session. This time, they are laying on their backs on the floor on Yoga mats~

hellish: I don't think my man would approve of this
Therapist: You need to learn to be independent, to make decisions for yourself
hellish: I tried that already. Got me in trouble. This seems to work better.
Therapist: Well for right now, your "man" is going to have to take a backseat
hellish: I don't think he'll appreciate that notion
Therapist: He will if you get fixed here
hellish: Oh now, that wasn't real nice...
frankee: I thought it was hysterical
hellish: You would.
frankee: Hey, at least I am the flour. Unlike you, the nuts.
hellish: *rolls over off her yoga mat and grabs a nerf bat from the corner, wanders over to frankee and is about to hit her*
Therapist: *walks over, grabs the bat from hellish, grabs her by the nip, drags her back to her yoga mat and gets her to lay back down*
hellish: I am SO suing you!!!!! You can't touch me! My man would NOT approve
Therapist: *looks at hellish and sighs* We must go back to the first lessons again. You are independent. You enjoy making decisions
hellish: *looks at therapist* I will enjoy beating the hell out of you with this nerf bat soon
Rick: *watches the girls go at it and then lays back down for a nap*
Therapist: hellish, are you suffering from a bout of severe anger? Perhaps over your post count?
hellish: Hypothetically, that is possible
frankee: Oh, it's possible all right. She is just jealous!
hellish: Of flour?
frankee: No, of intelligence

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Okay, that was seriously funny. :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by delia

~Therapist hands Warbaby a 5pp questionaire~

Fill this out and we'll get started.

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Butt that is why I'm here. I forgot how to read.

delia!! how the hell are you coming up with this stuff?? i haven't laughed this much EVER!!

i think we need to get Woogs in here for a session, though! ~nods~ maybe you can talk to him about this whole Cum Nazi thing he's got going on...

~going off to find him and drag him back kicking and screaming~

Quote:

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Originally Posted by delia

~Warbaby busts into the room at the end of the yoga session~

Therapist: Hello. I'm sorry, we're in the middle of a session, as the tag on the door says. Please wait outside in the waiting room
Warbaby: I can't read
Therapist: Ah, okay. Well, please step outside and wait in the waiting room.
Warbaby: But I am WARBABY!
Therapist: Yes, you are. Pleasure to meet you. Now please step outside.
Warbaby: But I am KING!
Therapist: We can talk about those feelings in a moment.
Warbaby: I RULE the lands of FORUMS!
Therapist: We can talk about your... perceptions... and your... visualizations... in a moment. But you must sit in the waiting room for now
Warbaby: There is NO ONE LIKE ME!!!!!
Therapist *mutters, you're damn right about that* Sir? The waiting room.

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Gawd, I do need help if I said all that. Hell I can't remember a thing. I think it best if I just quietly sneak out the back door.

*seeing hellish entering then departing, wondering on the mysterious "Cum Nazi" and pondering telling him to punish hellish for a couple of weeks*

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RickBulow74

*seeing hellish entering then departing, wondering on the mysterious "Cum Nazi" and pondering telling him to punish hellish for a couple of weeks*

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LOL! the Cum Nazi isn't mysterious!! besides, i haven't done anything to deserve any punishment! so there! ~poking my tongue out~

*nibbling on yer tongue* I am sure Cum Nazi will think of something to kep you busy for 2 weeks or so, hellish

naww, he wants me to beat you too! ~giggles~

ready to admit defeat yet? ~pinchin ya~

OKay... it's official... Woogsbie needs to change his id to Cum Nazi...

*rofl*

Quote:

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Originally Posted by delia

~Therapist logs this supposed Cum Nazi into her calendar~

hellish, how will he be paying?

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credit! now bend over so i can swipe his card for him. ROTFLMAO!!!

sorry...somehow that just seemed like something he would say!! ~crackin' up~

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ~hellish one~

credit! now bend over so i can swipe his card for him. ROTFLMAO!!!

sorry...somehow that just seemed like something he would say!! ~crackin' up~

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ROFL

Quote:

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Originally Posted by delia

Therapist: Ok, might I suggest instead a male?
sheepish: I am TRYING. HELLO. *mutters about geography*
Therapist: Is there anything you can say that's positive?
sheepish: I haven't killed you with this pitchfork yet.

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OMG, I am laughing SO hard right now.

Dear therapist,

Help! I am at my wits end. This damn geopraphy problem will drive me bonkers.. How do i solve it? A certain sheep is looking pretty FINE right about now. *leers over at her favorite naughty sheep*

~A horny sheep crazed shepherdess who needs... everything!

OMG delia!!!!!!!!

This is the funniest thread!

And you have some real nutcases in here!
Wonder if I should see if a certain Damn Dom will come in for therapy! pfffft

I am leaving because you know waaaaaaaaaaaay to much about me that does NOT need to be shared.

sheepish! I'll fly to England with you!!!

roflmfao

*wails* noooooooooooooooo I would NEVER use Rocky that way!

It's the "other" sheep that THAT man made me masterbate with, it was HIS idea!!

*pinching hellish on the ass, then swatting it* 2 words for ya: HELL NO!!!!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by delia

~annie sits in the therapist's waiting room. Therapist comes out from her office and sits next to annie. annie keeps reading her magazine, Therapist does a sudoku puzzle~

Therapist: Hi
annie: Oh, hi
Therapist: Do I know you?
annie: No, don't think so. Who are you?
Therapist: The one who owns this Psychiatry office
annie: Oh. You have a lot of wackos that come through here
Therapist: Yes well, they aren't wackos, they are just mentally-disturbed freaks. Speaking of which, who are you?
annie: Oh, I'm annie, nice to meet you.
Therapist: And what brings you here?
annie: Same thing that brings me everywhere. Curiosity.
Therapist: Well, you can't eternally sit here in this waiting room
annie: Sure I can. As long as I make random comments to wackos, everyone thinks I belong here.

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*makes a note... the waiting room is somewhat safe at the moment.... *

rofl.. this is too funny! *hugs*

OMG!!

i can't remember when i laughed so hard!!!

*Just friggin dies laughing*

This is too damned funny. Whoever's sick, twisted, demented mind came up with this should deserve a medal for his or her work.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RickBulow74

*Just friggin dies laughing*

This is too damned funny. Whoever's sick, twisted, demented mind came up with this should deserve a medal for his or her work.

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*points to therapist delia*

*mumbles something about* wondering who REALLY needs help here...

*grinz*

*drags Michebe into the room*

*taps on the therapists door*

Dr. Delia? *wonders if that is a good or bad twitching title*

Michebe has just confessed that she has a problem with chat as well!

Can you help her? please?

poor delia! how is she going to be able to keep up with all the freaks in here? ~laughing~

errrm annie has the same problem

ahem I am NOT a freak so there :P

*just frigging dies laughing* This is too funny.

Just remember something: Those who say they are sane are really insane.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by michebe(LD)

errrm annie has the same problem

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Me??? i have no problem (other then typo's!)

*eyes the little blue sheepy* i love youuuuu *wanders off to the bedroom, sheep in hand*

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sheepishone

*eyes the little blue sheepy* i love youuuuu *wanders off to the bedroom, sheep in hand*

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LMFAO!!

oh you soooooooo need more therapy, honey!