Well said Oz!!!!! i had started a response but couldn't get it expressed as eloquently or accurately so i deleted it... thanks for stating it in such a way!Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
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Well said Oz!!!!! i had started a response but couldn't get it expressed as eloquently or accurately so i deleted it... thanks for stating it in such a way!Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
You're most welcome precious.
Ozme - i agree with the idea of "being on display" and somehow, at even this new stage in the game, there's a little yearning going on... i guess i was referring to the rest of the rules.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
fantazmaster did say that the rules were sort of a starting point. and i suppose that if the rules are clear - then there are no excuses for not knowing or not understanding.
yearning about! joely
joely,
Yes jobs come into play, I hate my sub/slave wearing pants but some work places require them or conditions do. These types of conditions are addressed when setting rules for the sub/slave. When ever possible I want thing done they way I want them but to be inflexible is a quick way to lose a sub/slave or cost her a job.
I also don't want her doing things in general public that would embarrass her or humiliate her. So I don't have her answering the door in house wear, a robe is kept by the door. So many ways to have your cake and eat it to if you use common sense.
Russell
Yes a starting point joely as over the years the Demands list has served as a sort of an example of rules and demands , a database of items to draw upon and work from.Frankly I can not envision a "one list fits all" or universal set of rules that would accomodate all such relationships.As Sir_Russel has shown us with his sharing of his list of rules it takes some thought,negotiation and sensitivity to individual circumstances in order to render a workeable set of rules.Quote:
Originally Posted by joely
Sir Russell and fantazmaster - Thanks for your replies. It does seem to me that a D/s relationship is definitely one that takes much thought, trust and communication. Certainly the same in any relationship but moreso here.
I appreciate that you took the time to answer.
joely
joely,
House rules are set after extensive negotiations and part of that is doing a check list and comparing it with the other side of the D/s relationship.
If you interested I would share with you my check list that I have been working on. Can't say that it is all mine but one that has been around for a long time that I am twiking.
Russell
Thanks Sir Russell - i sent you a PM.
joely
This thread has been a really great read!
Okay, I know the rules that FantazMaster (sorry sp) posted would probably be tedious and possibly be impossible in reality, but am i really the only one who got just a teensy bit turned on? :blurp_ani
Okay, maybe it is just me, i'm just a yearning wench...lol
And, finally, to answer the thread's question-
Some "rules" I had to go by in previous relationships have been mentioned thus far-
- keep eyes downcast
- no sitting on furniture, generally sitting at Mistress or Sir's feet
- kiss/ worship Mistress' feet after serving..whatever.. coffe.. tea.. etc...
- served (nonsexually) and was respectful to Mistress and Sir's (D/s) friends- kind of like what Kate said She has at Her house.
- of course no orgasm w/o permission or command
- dress code at home was no clothing permitted
- i walked behind Mistress, although Sir would open the doors for me, which i appreciated b/c i still like some old-fashioned male chivalry.
In public, i still addressed Mistress as so, and walked a slight step behind. There were times in a semi-public area, like getting out of the car in the parking lot of a regular store (walmart or whatever) that i would worship her feet right there.
I thought it would be way too embarrassing for me to do those things in public, but actually it was wonderful to just be myself. (Besides the fact that i always appreciate shock value, and she and i both shared the attitude that anyone who wanted to judge me or us could go f*** themselves
And similar to what Dragon's muse said, i felt these things were not like rules- sitting or kneeling at Mistress or Sir's feet with my head on their leg or in their lap being caressed affectionately like their pet was the sweetest bliss... so natural and comfortable and beautiful.
However, I do too enjoy rules (even very formal ones), like Tomof Sweden mentioned his sub/ slave does.
Oh, and Sir Russell, by the way, I thought your rules seemed very well-thought-out, considerate to both Master and sub/ slave- they seem not simply rules, but more like ways to live that would facilitate growth and love in the relationship.
Reading ThisGirl's post ,
i am always wrapped up in what someone says they feel while being submissive. thank you for sharing.
Thank you ThisGirl I did place a lot of thought into my house rules. They are not right for everyone but they suit me and allow her to grow and know what is acceptable when I am not there.
I feel they are realistic for the type of sub/slave I seek one that has strength, intelligence, wit and humor. She honors me by serving so I honor her by providing a framework for her to be safe and secure in.
Russell
Glad to share, WS.
You're welcome, Russell.
I wanted to add another "rule" I had to follow with the first Dom i was really engaged in (although it was online and phone until i finally met him and spent three beautiful days in almost-heaven with him)-
i was a smoker at the time (well, i still am but took a 2yr hiatus when i was pregnant and breast-feeding) and everytime i wanted to have a cigarette, i was to ask permission. This may seem like a small thing, BUT, it definitely was not. He was very intuitive to command this. I mean, imagine having to suddenly ask someone permission to do something you do normally without a thought (i guess this would apply to any small task)... it was very difficult to give up that control and in fact, most of the time I chose to not smoke at all rather than have to ask! Which I think he may have surmised I would do- making this order even more insightful because then i smoked a lot less.
Sorry if i rambled, but it was something about which i had completely forgotten until i started thinking more on this question of "rules".
Mistress has these always-set rules:
Unless commanded specifically otherwise, I am to be naked.
I am to do what She commands.
Mistress is to be referred to as Mistress unless She commands otherwise.
Other rules vary from day to day