Respect for your sub/slave

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Originally Posted by GreyJack

If you wouldn't trash your favorite possession, why would you trash a living, breathing embodiment of what fulfills you?

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Wow. Well said, GreyJack. :)

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Originally Posted by GreyJack

Those who serve us deserve as much respect as they show us. I've been called a "New Age Master" because I don't treat subs or slaves as the old abusive slave owners of the past have done. Yes, they are property, but human property nonetheless, and more deserving of care, affection, respect, and admiration as anyone's most priceless Art. In a way, we become the curator of a treasure when we find that rare good sub or slave. If you wouldn't trash your favorite possession, why would you trash a living, breathing embodiment of what fulfills you?

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Very well put GreyJack. A girl who serves with dignity and love deserves dignity and love in return. She is indeed a priceless jewel, and owning and loving such a treasure is an honour and a joy above any other I have ever experienced. There is a depth and breadth and vividness to such a relationship that makes the rest of the world a mere shadow by comparison. A Dom I respect greatly once stated he'd put himself in extreme harms way for his girl - and I would do no less for mine - her care, her protection and the way she completes me - and I her - deserve no less.

Is it any wonder I love my girl so intensely, when she makes life worth living?

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Originally Posted by GreyJack

Those who serve us deserve as much respect as they show us. I've been called a "New Age Master" because I don't treat subs or slaves as the old abusive slave owners of the past have done. Yes, they are property, but human property nonetheless, and more deserving of care, affection, respect, and admiration as anyone's most priceless Art. In a way, we become the curator of a treasure when we find that rare good sub or slave. If you wouldn't trash your favorite possession, why would you trash a living, breathing embodiment of what fulfills you?

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Very well put GreyJack. A girl who serves with dignity and love deserves dignity and love in return. She is indeed a priceless jewel, and owning and loving such a treasure is an honour and a joy above any other I have ever experienced. There is a depth and breadth and vividness to such a relationship that makes the rest of the world a mere shadow by comparison. A Dom I respect greatly once stated he'd put himself in extreme harms way for his girl - and I would do no less for mine - her care, her protection and the way she completes me - and I her - deserve no less.

Is it any wonder I love my girl so intensely, when she makes life worth living?

hmmm - there's something wrong with the board - not sure why it's double posting again - doesn't seem to happen with the quick reply - but does occasionally on the advanced

I will not let this thread die!!

I was thinking about just this issue earlier, as relates to my Master. My Master focuses me. He is very precise, very sharp and penetrating. I, however, am a never-ending expanse of largely disorganized thought and feeling. I spread out on every side. And when I am with him, I focus, almost to a laser point, as he is. And in that focus, I can truly use my thoughts and abilities to their fullest potential. And when he in the presence of my expansive chaos of thought, he has the creativity to push me to my limits.

We are implosion and explosion, yin and yang, black and white. To create all the possibilities of the universe, you need to have an equilibrium of both extremes.

That is what BDSM and submission mean to me. It is a meeting of two opposite minds, which enhances both.

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Originally Posted by His_blizzard

Hmmm...think of it this was. Has a man ever called you (or have you ever called a guy) "baby". or "pumpkin" or any of those gushy, silly names that we all use at times? One doesn't have a lot of respect for a baby or a pumpkin but I bet that if you were ever called that you never though of it that way, right?
I love it more than almost anything when Master called me pet, or little one or even His slut. To me these are terms of endearment and I treasure them.
What tells me that I am respected is the way I am treated and he treats me like the an intelligent equal who has offered my gift of submission; not like a possession that he has casually acquired. If this is the way you are treated, then I say "SHUT UP" little voice inside fireandice's head. *grins*
I hope this helps. "peace" ~blizz~

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I really wholeheartedly agree. When I call Wellbehaved my "boy" or my "pet" or any of the other various nicknames he has between the two of us, it's a term of endearment more than anything else. I completely respect him, and our life together. I know that many of our vanilla friends who know some about our lifestyle tend to think that I don't respect him, but... it's just something they cannot understand.

I fully believe Wellbehaved's worth as a person is equal to my worth as a person. Living this lifestyle does not make him worth less to me, just because he submits to me... really, it makes him worth much much more to me. I respect him more than almost any other person I know (barring my parents and grandparents.)

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Originally Posted by fireandice

I have a question that's been going around in my head for quite awhile now. As a submissive to my Master, I always, always, ALWAYS respect him both as my dominant and as a person. This is fairly easy for me, as I find him to be intelligent, creative, and receptive (all qualities that I greatly admire :)

I have enough self-respect to be able to realize that I too possess these qualities and I was just wondering how those of you who are dominant in nature respect your submissives/slaves (if you do at all). This is not a biased question-- if you don't, then you don't. I have often heard of a slave being compared to a cherished pet or possession. In comparison-- I love my kitty with all of my heart, but I wouldn't say that I respect him (because he's a kitty and he's on a mental level that is far below me).

My Master tells me that he respects me as his submissive and as an individual, but after turning this over and over in my head, I still have my doubts (which I've voiced to him). He likes to call me his pet, and I like being his pet, but there's this little voice inside my head that says it's demeaning to my character. I would like to make it shut up ;) I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that it is possible to submit completely to someone and still retain your sense of self-worth and self-respect.

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i have a master who is also my partner and he respects me as his submissive and i respect him as my master and partner

Originally Posted by fireandice
"I have a question that's been going around in my head for quite awhile now. As a submissive to my Master, I always, always, ALWAYS respect him both as my dominant and as a person. This is fairly easy for me, as I find him to be intelligent, creative, and receptive (all qualities that I greatly admire

I have enough self-respect to be able to realize that I too possess these qualities and I was just wondering how those of you who are dominant in nature respect your submissives/slaves (if you do at all). This is not a biased question-- if you don't, then you don't. I have often heard of a slave being compared to a cherished pet or possession. In comparison-- I love my kitty with all of my heart, but I wouldn't say that I respect him (because he's a kitty and he's on a mental level that is far below me).

My Master tells me that he respects me as his submissive and as an individual, but after turning this over and over in my head, I still have my doubts (which I've voiced to him). He likes to call me his pet, and I like being his pet, but there's this little voice inside my head that says it's demeaning to my character. I would like to make it shut up I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that it is possible to submit completely to someone and still retain your sense of self-worth and self-respect."

A submissive MUST have self-worth and self-respect. In a true D/s relationship, the respect must go both ways... and the sub must be able to hold her head up proud of who she is. Submission need not be demeaning, as it is the sub who is in control of a real D/s partnership; she/he always has the ability to withdraw submission, to stand up and say, "HELL, NO!!"

You must realize that inside, and grasp that in the long run, either you *must* have that feeling clear in your mind, or the relationship will never develop as it should, to the depths it should.

I wish you the best in finding that realization, and in developing yourself into all you can be!

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Originally Posted by GreyJack

As with all human interactions and relationships, we have to begin by respecting everyone as a human being and grant them whatever dignity that implies. On the other hand, the ancient Romans had a concept or principle they called dignitas (you may want to see what Wikipedia has to say at length about this). In the Orient, it's known as "face." It represents the respect you earn by how you act and deal with life and people. People usually chip away at their own dignitas when they act like assholes or jerks, so they lose the respect of social standing. They can also lose respect by acting as if they are "owed" it without doing any "earning."

Generally, subs and slaves (even those into humiliation) still retain their dignity. Yes, a slave can submit fully with dignity, just as a Dom/Domme/Master/Mistress can behave and act with a certain humility and responsibility. As many have said before and I repeat, both subs/slaves and Doms/Dommes/Masters/Mistresses often show courage and high personal qualities by the lifestyle they live, perhaps even more integrity and committment than normal (vanilla/whatever that may mean) people in their relationships.

Those who serve us deserve as much respect as they show us. I've been called a "New Age Master" because I don't treat subs or slaves as the old abusive slave owners of the past have done. Yes, they are property, but human property nonetheless, and more deserving of care, affection, respect, and admiration as anyone's most priceless Art. In a way, we become the curator of a treasure when we find that rare good sub or slave. If you wouldn't trash your favorite possession, why would you trash a living, breathing embodiment of what fulfills you?

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I couldn't agree with you more.