nk's BDSM life

nk... That is great. I am so happy for you and "emily". Mistakes will happen... I've commited a could really dumb ones, you have to learn, build the bonds of trust and keep moving forward.

I like Rhabbi's idea of the timer, I personally watch the clock like a demon when I session with someone... *smiles and caresses Faes hair* ... But I know that getting lost in the moment is possible. Grab a kitchen timer, set it, and focus on having fun.

We are here for you mate. Just ask and we will try to help as best as we can.

Nk im so happy for you and Emilly and i hope you all journey is a happy and long one!

Does anyone know about anal? Well stupid question....ofcourse

What are risks involved in anal using toys and what can be done to prevent any damage?

Well, it's funny, when I first joined the forums, I didn't really expect to get a lot out of it. I just joined to satisfy my curiousity about this whole bdsm business, and I kinda got hooked on it.

Recently, someone on this forum (let's just call her Emily, and no, that's not her real name) and I started to get to know each other more on AIM, and realised that we share somewhat of the same limits in bdsm. Emily is a sub, and for those who don't know it yet, I'm a switch with dommish tendancies.

After talking for some time, we somehow accidentally figured out that we could have some type of online, bdsm-type relationship. At the moment, the extent of it goes by me asking her to do different tasks, and should she break a rule within that tasks, there would be punishments. Occasionally, when she goes out for lunch, I request that she wear her tightest belt so that she feels full pretty quickly, I've suggested some daily routines, and so far, she has been following everything to the letter. I also control her orgasms (I'm nice here), and tell her when and how many times she can cum.

So far, the experience has been awesome for me. It's not that I can control the sexual and sometimes non-sexual aspects of this increadible girl, it's the feeling of responsibility, and odd sense of purpose, and ofcourse, it's soooo arousing.

So what do I want from this thread? Since this is my first time in any bdsm type relationship, I don't want to make any mistakes that may harm her. For example, I learned that it is not good to have a vibrator on for a long period of time, but I learned this after asking her to endure an evening with it on. I feel really bad about that incident, and absolutely do not want to have a repeat of something like that. I am also looking for any advice from subs and dom/mes from their experience with o/l stuff. So far I think my tasks are pretty good (if I do say so myself), but I could always use some inspiration. And anything else that people think that I may need.

As far as the identity of Emily, it is up to her to reveal herself.

So my first question to you all, what is the maximum (but safe) amount of time to leave a vibrator in for?

It's been said before in here...everything in moderation. Well, to start, at least.

Vibes are fun, no denying that. But desensitization is an issue to be concerned with. If Emily is new to vibes, 10-15 minutes max on any one area, I'd say, with no frequent repetition to the same area. And keep all areas of play very wet, preferably with Astroglide or such as it lasts a long time. The tissue in that area is delicate, so treat is carefully.

Have too much fun!

tessa :wave:

How exciting, NK! I'm happy for you! You and Emily seem to share about the same sort of relationship that Selash and I do. We're pretty new to this whole shebang too.

See what the subs on these forums will do to you switches? *giggles*

I've left one (bullet) in all night, few hours, but on a low setting. I haven't had any problems with desensitization. But I'm with tessa, better to start slow with a few minutes than start big with a few hours.

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So far, the experience has been awesome for me. It's not that I can control the sexual and sometimes non-sexual aspects of this increadible girl, it's the feeling of responsibility, and odd sense of purpose, and ofcourse, it's soooo arousing.

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nk,

That is the essence of a D/s relationship, in my opinion.

As for making mistakes, unfortunately even experienced Doms make them. Just learn from them.

I would suggest that whenever you play, have a timer in front of you. Start with short time periods, and build up to longer ones. I think that the timer was the best idea I ever had about online play because at least with it I know how long it has been.

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Originally Posted by nk_lion

Does anyone know about anal? Well stupid question....ofcourse

What are risks involved in anal using toys and what can be done to prevent any damage?

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nk,

Here is an article that points out all the negative dangers of anal sex. http://www.catholiceducation.org/art...ho0075.html#07 Understand that this article is biased, but still informative. That said, i would encourage anal sex if you take simple precautions. Make sure everything is clean and sterile, never move something from the anus to any other opening, and take your time. Anal sex is a lot of fun if you take the time to follow some simple safety rules.

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Originally Posted by nk_lion

What are risks involved in anal using toys and what can be done to prevent any damage?

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Just be careful about the size of the toys. And make sure the toy is made for anal play. They usually have a base on them that keeps it from slipping all the way in the hole. And lube...LOTS of lube.

Just be sensible and careful and the fun will be had by all. :)

tessa :wave:

So, if you take a good look at my profile, you'll see I'm a switch. I haven't been doing any sub type roles at all. But one thing I noticed about Emily is that she loves to tease, even if it gets her in trouble.

So I proposed a little something extra. A part that could satisfy my switchiness self. Everytime she's allow an orgasm, so am I, everytime I tell her to edge, I have to do the same. She loved the idea, so uptil now this is just an example of a switch living both ways while assuming a dom/me position.

So after talking a bit after that, the conversation somehow steered to not having sex for a good month. I told her that she wouldn't be able to endure no orgasms for a month, and she was adament that she could. So a challenge was set, and long story short, she and I will deny ourself of orgasms for an entire month. We have to edge once each morning, and there are punishments for breaking the rules.

I still can get her to do tasks, and other stuff that would give me an unfair advantage, but I'm not complaining :D.

So yes...if anyone out there has tried something like this, any advice in how to endure this month would be appreciated. I'm going to be taking a lot of cold showers this month.

Distraction. Get busy busy busy. Paint the house, redecorate, join the volutneer fire department, take up training for a 5K run for charity. While I haven't gone a month without thinking about sex, I have (had to) gone without it for a month or more.

It can be done.

I don't think cold showers work. Maybe only for men? That's just a very convenient place to masturbate and enjoy your own body.

Glad to see you and Emily enjoying. Love the thread.

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Originally Posted by nk_lion

So a challenge was set, and long story short, she and I will deny ourself of orgasms for an entire month.

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:eek: I don't want to ever have first-hand knowledge of that! Not even first-finger knowledge...

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Originally Posted by nk_lion

I still can get her to do tasks, and other stuff that would give me an unfair advantage, but I'm not complaining :D.

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Evil little cuss. :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by nk_lion

So yes...if anyone out there has tried something like this, any advice in how to endure this month would be appreciated.

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Got nothing for you there. Sorry! :)

tessa :wave:

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Originally Posted by nk_lion

So yes...if anyone out there has tried something like this, any advice in how to endure this month would be appreciated. I'm going to be taking a lot of cold showers this month.

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lol i recently went about 5 weeks without an orgasm. it damn near drove me crazy. good luck!! :D

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Originally Posted by ~hellish one~

lol i recently went about 5 weeks without an orgasm. it damn near drove me crazy. good luck!! :D

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Errr...thanks.

You're nuts, love. But no cheating. If you cheat you deny yourself the full experience and who really wants that? I suggest you keep yourself busy and maybe buy a chastity belt so when you see your cutesy darling little subbie if you reach down there to touch yourself, well, you can't. =)

Best advice I have for you is to stop right now. Seriously, this is insane. Stop.

That said, it can be done, but by the end of the month you will wish you had never thought of this. It is mostly a matter of will power. And you need to establish if wet dreams count as breaking the task, if so my money will be on her.

Umm, no, this isn't one I would recommend for anyone. Especially not beginners.*giggles*

I say whatever happens in a dream doesn't count as cheating. One can't consciously control oneself when one is in sleepy-time land. One might be able to control another, but not oneself. Unless that's the dream. In that case, I'm now confused about onself and another and one. :o

And Rhabbi, I have orgasms in my dreams. (woohoo) Emily might just have the same happen with her. So I would be thinking that all bets are off in the land of dreams.

I think both y'all are crazy for doing this, but good luck anyway! :)

tessa :wave:

VoodooMan says wet dreams don't count. *blushes* Interestingly enough, I had one a few weeks ago. I dreamed I was looking at a BDSM porn mag. There was a series of pictures involving an African-American Domme and sub. The pictures progressed until the sub was dressed like a girl, and the Domme was fucking him in the ass with a strap-on. I was very aroused but knew I wasn't supposed to touch myself. As I drew the magazine off my lap, I let it brush against my clit and had an orgasm.

Tessa, you know I love you, but I seriously think DareDevil needs to consider putting you on cum restriction. *weg* Misery loves company, ya know! If I have to save all my cum for VoodooMan, I think you should have to save ALL your cum for DareDevil. *slaps your ass and runs like hell*

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Originally Posted by Flaming-Redhead

Tessa, you know I love you, but I seriously think DareDevil needs to consider putting you on cum restriction. *weg* Misery loves company, ya know! If I have to save all my cum for VoodooMan, I think you should have to save ALL your cum for DareDevil. *slaps your ass and runs like hell*

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I agree!!!!

Let's launch a petition and send it to DareDevil.

Dear DareDevil,

The members of this forum have signed a petition requesting you to take the most serious of action possible, towards your wife/slave, tessa. We feel she is running amok the boards tantalizing and teasing all those less priviledged. The action that we ask you to employ is simply cum restriction.

The benifits of cum restrictions are wide, and will be enjoyed mostly by you. Speaking from experience, a sub begging for release is extremely arousing. I believe it isn't to far of a stretch to also say that she will be wet and ready everywhere and every time of the day, simply begging to serve you, even more then before.

We hope you give this matter due thought, and come to agreement to this letter and the signed members.

Thank you for your consideration

Sincerly,

nk_lion
gagged_Louise
Flaming-Redhead (3 in 30 minutes!!!)
Dorkalicious
Miksha
[Add your name here]


Oh this cum restriction is horrible....But I shall prevail!

I'm signing that petition, I agree that's just what slave tessa will need to get even more in her place, and feeling the more yummy herself.

Hell fuckin yeah!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm definitely signing it.

*Pulls out her quill and signs name* Hehehe

~stares at Red in shocked disbelief~ Ok, I was fine with you slapping my ass. Could've stuck around to slap it a few more times, but I was cool with the once over. But this!?!?! Why take your cum restriction frustration out on me?? ~thinks about that~ Well all right, I can see why you would, but still. :32: Biatch. ~pfffttt~

And Louise! ~eyes you all up and down~ Your sadistic slip is showing from under your skirt, Darling.

Hey, NK, I'll make a deal with you. I'll not only sign your petition, but I'll show it to DD and beg for him to put me on cum restriction myself. If...~evil grin~...if you cum over here first. Cum over here and show it to me. If you do, then I will be happy to sign your cute little petition.

~flashes one incredibly angelic smile~ Fair-minded, don't you think?

:wave:

ps. ~looks up~ I see that D-lish!

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Originally Posted by tessa

Hey, NK, I'll make a deal with you. I'll not only sign your petition, but I'll show it to DD and beg for him to put me on cum restriction myself. If...~evil grin~...if you cum over here first. Cum over here and show it to me. If you do, then I will be happy to sign your cute little petition.

~flashes one incredibly angelic smile~ Fair-minded, don't you think?

:wave:

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There are some penalties if I cum....I want a guarantee about this whole cr thing.

Tessa, I volunteer to cum hard and then go on full cum denial for three days if you'll beg DareDevil to put you on CR for as long as he sees fit. No, I'm not a sadist, I just know, dear, you'd love to be wincing and begging to cum

(Have to clear this one with Liz and Rhabbi, but I guess they might agree)

Thank you g_L. The tessa cr movement begins!!!

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Originally Posted by gagged_Louise

Tessa, I volunteer to cum hard and then go on full cum denial for three days if you'll beg DareDevil to put you on CR for as long as he sees fit.

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3 days versus "as long as he sees fit"??????? No way! And you say you aren't a sadist. HA!

NK, remember that question in your "22 Questions" thread? The one that asked, "Is all fair in love and war?" Remember my answer?? ~smiles wickedly~ Might want to read back over it.

But a guarantee? ~smiles innocently~ Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrre. Any guarantee you want, cutie pie. ;)

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Originally Posted by tessa

3 days versus "as long as he sees fit"??????? No way! And you say you aren't a sadist. HA!

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Umm, I'm not the one disturbing people here with my luscious looks am I, Tessa? It's only far you get the slightly harder deal.

What do you see? I have no idea what you're talking about *Angel face*

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Originally Posted by tessa

~stares at Red in shocked disbelief~ Ok, I was fine with you slapping my ass. Could've stuck around to slap it a few more times, but I was cool with the once over. But this!?!?! Why take your cum restriction frustration out on me?? ~thinks about that~ Well all right, I can see why you would, but still. :32: Biatch. ~pfffttt~

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Why? *smiles knowingly* I know you'll love it and thank me later. In my case, it was all done in a very mind-fucking kinda way. First, I lost all my toys. It was very innocuous. VoodooMan asked me to bring him my toys which we played with on various occasions, even bringing them to 1763. He suggested I leave that particular bag at his house instead of hauling it back and forth. It made sense at the time. I didn't even realize what had happened until a few days later when I went looking for something to...um...play with. I mentioned to him that he still had my toys. He said I could have them back anytime I wanted, but he said it with that evil little grin. You know the one I'm talking about. When Doms grin, it's scary. I decided maybe I didn't really want to ask for them back. *sigh* I did end up mentioning them once more when I was whining about not having any vibes. He then revealed something to me. Sneaky rat bastard that he is, and I say that in the most loving way, he'd kept them away from me because they were desensitizing my clit. Four or five months ago, I would've argued that they were NOT doing any such thing and, in fact, helped me cum, but I now know better. The cum restriction came about during a conversation about masturbating. Imagine that! *ggls* We were discussing what would be okay to visualize while masturbating, i.e. chat role play or similar ideas. He asked me what if he was chatting with a female sub and became aroused and...and....came. It seems I have a jealous bone, so we agreed it was not okay. In fact, it was revealed that I'm quite the greedy bitch when it comes to his cum, so in order for him to save ALL his cum for me, never masturbating, I have to save ALL my cum for him. It sounded like a fair trade at the time. Some days, when I'm really GRRRRRR, I wonder how often he masturbated....whether it was daily....several times a day like me....or just occasionally. *pout* What's done is done. If I want to complain about it or cheat too many times, I've been informed he can take ALL my orgasms away. That gave me pause, let me tell ya! ALLLLLLL of them?!?!? I don't complain. I'm addicted to his cock. I crave it when I'm not with him, and when I am with him, I wouldn't dream of ever saying "No...I'm not in the mood." In fact, I missed my visit last week due to illness, and today, well....I would probably promise the man anything at this point. I would BEG for his cock. Whatever he wants me to do, even if it hurts and no matter how humiliating, I would do it. Um...yeah...I'm gonna stop talking now in case he decides to read. *winces* Trust me, Tessa, you WANT this. DareDevil wants this. Hell, who wouldn't want a gorgeous blond with great tits begging for his cock?!? *imagines Tessa on her knees...DareDevil with a cruel smile* Ok, I gotta stop thinking about this 'cause I'm not gonna make it.....*squirms* I really hope I get to see VoodooMan tonight. No, I BETTER get to see VoodooMan tonight or I can't be held responsible for my actions! I mean...um...maybe I should ask him VERY nicely. AAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHH Isn't this fun?!?!

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*imagines Tessa on her knees...DareDevil with a cruel smile*

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oh that is a sweet picture.

I'll sign the petition. Because even though I'm not "technically" on cum restriction, I haven't had sex in about three weeks. One appreciates things so much more when one doesn't have it. An excellent lesson to learn.

Then of course there's mostly the pleasure side for you two. You'll thank us later.

Actually I don't think dear Tessa has had much bdsm goings-on in bed lately - she did say last week when I mock Dommed her "too bad this is all the Dom action I've been getting of late". But yes, the image of a sweet blonde on her knees wincing and begging to be allowed to suck Master's cock is a seductive one. :)

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Originally Posted by Flaming-Redhead

The cum restriction came about during a conversation about masturbating.

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:D

It's a freakin' MUTINY!!!

Well, not a mutiny proper as I'm not the captain of anything, but crap, y'all!! What's with everyone wanting to deprive me of my O's??!?? All because I teased cute little NK??

Speaking of NK, it behooves me to remind everyone that this is HIS BDSM Life thread. I think this is all most inappropriate. :dont: It actually could be considered thread-hijacking. Serious business there, people. Don't make me get all superior on all y'all's asses. :iz

Ok, that made me laugh too. :icon176:

~and while everyone is laughing, tessa grabs up all her O's and runs out the door~

:wave:

*Lassos tessa, pulls her back into the room and ties her up nice and good.*

Don't worry tessa, I don't mind this thread becoming a 'Lets stop tessa's O's' thread for a while

Tessa tied up.

Great idea nk!

See? The thread hasn't been hijacked at all...perfectly within forum guidelines to allow nk to practice tying his knots. ;)

yay!!

*pulls Tessa's hands together behind her back, lashes her wrists and ties off to a taut, knotted crotchrope*

-see, honey, why you need to control your orgasms?

*gives NK a cupcake for his knot tying skills* I'll sign the petition! =) Tessa needs some CR and Redhead seems to need a little less CR. *giggles*

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Originally Posted by MajesticFae

*gives NK a cupcake for his knot tying skills* I'll sign the petition! =) Tessa needs some CR and Redhead seems to need a little less CR. *giggles*

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:eek:

Did the Redhead pay you to say that?? Or did you bribe her with a cupcake??

Seriously, people, Tessa does NOT need any CR. At all! Ever!

Ever!

Never Ever!

:dont:

Go CR your own selves! pffffttttt! :p

Oh, Tessa, you do, you do!!! It's sooooooooooooooooo sweet when you get it again... and trust me, the feeling of desire when you really, really want it... really want the O, the cock, the cum, the God-I'll-do-ANYTHING... and then you do get to cum - oh, if you're lucky, with a lot of teasing and edging to get there too... Oh, the mind-fuck as well as the body-fuck...

God. I've just had a month of mostly CR (what's 'mostly' CR you say - oh, it's complicated but also involves lots of almost orgasms... and punishment for actuals... and the punishments are really really horny... and lots of him just not being there, but that's another story) and now he's away for 3 weeks - where's that petition? I'm not letting anyone get away with not suffering like this! oh - yes - and the enjoying it afterwards bit, too - forgot about that :D