Terms that have changed in meaning

Hopefully we can have some fun with this thread. Put terms in here that have changed meanings due to it being a vanilla term or even a BDSM term that now means something very different from it used to mean.

I will start this off with my personal favorite. When I started in the Life the vanillas weren't referred to as VANILLAS but as STRAIGHTS. Now that term means non-gay or queer. I think though we took it from the carnies that called any one not in the Carny life straights also know as rubes or marks.

This sounds fun, but I can't think of anything at the moment. :)

Porn adjectives.

"hard-core porn" has completely lost its meaning. The guys doing the extreme humiliation and BDSM porn avoid the term since it sounds to mild.

"Soft-core porn" today is not used at all any more since soft-core doesn't imply porn at all.

"Kit Kat" calls their most extreme productions "avantgarde".

"EVS" go only for arty farty titles, even though it's pretty obvious what they do.

BDSM didnt it originally just stand for

B-Bondage
D-Domination
S-sadism
M-Masochism

and not Bondage,Domination,Discipline,Sadism,Submission,Ma sochism.

and all the politically correct ssc and rack plus another new term that i cant actually remember,i think that all came later too.

edge play seems to have taken a new twist too,seems all things bdsm are termed edge play these days.

im probably way off mark though *s*

I was under the impression that BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) and DS (Domination, Submission) were separate things. You can obviously have DS without BDSM, although I don't think you can have BDSM without DS.

oh interesting,

BDSM - Bondage & Discipline, Domination & submission, Sadism & masochism

that wasn't the original definition then?

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Originally Posted by mastersgem

oh interesting,

BDSM - Bondage & Discipline, Domination & submission, Sadism & masochism

that wasn't the original definition then?

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I've actually got a friend who's writing a thesis on BDSM. Aparently one of an extremly few. I'm not sure exactly what he's doing it on. But I think he's mapping the various groups and nailing down definitions. It sounds broad but it isn't. Very little research has been done on this within psychological studies.

Virtually all books to read on this are written by non-scientists. And nearly all of the few scientific books on it are strictly about patholigies and treating is like a disease that needs to be "cured".

In Sweden today we all are officially sick and could get state sponsored medical care to be cured. My friends explicit goal is to change this definition.

Anyhoo... this was a long winded lead up to what my friend said on this at a drunken party we had not long ago. The term BDSM came from the Internet and became a collection term for everything we're all about. But it still isn't clear what the term entails. It's a bit like saying "I love sports". The person saying it will always have their favourite sport pop up in their head even though we have very little idea what he's thinking of.

This is what he's mapping. What is it that pops up in our heads when we think "BDSM"? There doesn't seem to ever have been an official definition. But i guess we'll have to wait and see what his research will show.

Our party organistion www.d e k a d a n c e .se has a political wing, and this guy among others are part of this. So in a way, I'm also part of this, even though my focus is on the kinky parties.

HMMM I predate the internet by several decades. The earliest definition I know of is B=bondage, D=discipline, S=sadism, M=masochism.

The D/s seems to be inherent in these terms but I think is actual quite subjective. I tell people that I am a rare Dom and I believe that with all my heart. What I want from this Life is different from what others want out of it. I think that is true for each of us.

icey brought up edge play which today seems to mean taking any act to the extreme where injury can be possible or worse. Edge play used to mean knives, swords or anything that could cut.

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Originally Posted by Sir_Russell

icey brought up edge play which today seems to mean taking any act to the extreme where injury can be possible or worse. Edge play used to mean knives, swords or anything that could cut.

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now that is cool and makes complete sense - all those have an edge *winks*

as opposed to taking someone to the edge of an extreme limit

i like this topic hehe

I really thought that this would be a fast favorite but doesn't seem to be though. Seems that I was wrong.

What is your definition of vanilla, and why do we refer to non-lifestylers that way?

i haven't a clue of the history of how the term vanilla came to be but to me it smacks of vanilla ice cream - although it can be cool and refreshing at times it's more plain, boring and tasteless (at least to me lol) so i figure it's akin to that?

just a guess

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir_Russell

Hopefully we can have some fun with this thread. Put terms in here that have changed meanings due to it being a vanilla term or even a BDSM term that now means something very different from it used to mean.

I will start this off with my personal favorite. When I started in the Life the vanillas weren't referred to as VANILLAS but as STRAIGHTS. Now that term means non-gay or queer. I think though we took it from the carnies that called any one not in the Carny life straights also know as rubes or marks.

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I guess over time, as gays and lesbians have become more accepted legally and in the eyes of the hetero world (more or less, but at least in some countries and cities, and of course this is something that's happened over the last thirty years: the laws on gay marriage or legally registered couple status in e.g. Canada and Sweden respectively are a kind of peak so far) the gay crowd's take on the word straight became so pervasive that us kinky folks had to settle for a new word, so "vanilla" became the one.

I really don't quite like the implication that all who are not into some kind of bdsm life just don't understand or can't accept it. I'm an inclusive person who believes in love and understanding and not prone to go for explanations that just draw a razor sharp line between communities: "either you're with us or you're against us, either you're in or you're out". But sure, there are a great deal of persecutive idiots and legal obstacles, and for sure (non-D/s) homo people too are harassed badly or killed even in Europe and in many places ion the US, not to mention countries like Iran or Sudan where it's punishable by death.

I thought the four-letter acronym BDSM was a conflation of
BD - Bondage and Discipline
DS - Dominance and Submission
SM - Sado-Masochism

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir_Russell

What is your definition of vanilla, and why do we refer to non-lifestylers that way?

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The way i see vanilla, it means......**p*l*ane, mundane and ordinary. Vanilla is nothing to challenging or interesting. Vanilla is good, just not very exciting.

I like to use food terms to compare Vanillas to Kinksters. Vanilla is considered a "pure" flavor.

How would you explain wine to someone who has only ever had water. How would you explain curry to someone who only ever has boiled potatoes. How would explain the heat of chili peppers to someone who has only ever had milk.

Some people are more adventurous and want to experience all of life........all of its flavors and complexities.....Some people like what they like and never try anything beyond what they know.

So.....how would you explain chocolate to someone who has only had vanilla....

so if vanilla is a life style why is chocolate used, on ocasion, to refer to skin color?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TomOfSweden

I've actually got a friend who's writing a thesis on BDSM. Aparently one of an extremly few. I'm not sure exactly what he's doing it on. But I think he's mapping the various groups and nailing down definitions. It sounds broad but it isn't. Very little research has been done on this within psychological studies.

Virtually all books to read on this are written by non-scientists. And nearly all of the few scientific books on it are strictly about patholigies and treating is like a disease that needs to be "cured".

In Sweden today we all are officially sick and could get state sponsored medical care to be cured. My friends explicit goal is to change this definition.

Anyhoo... this was a long winded lead up to what my friend said on this at a drunken party we had not long ago. The term BDSM came from the Internet and became a collection term for everything we're all about. But it still isn't clear what the term entails. It's a bit like saying "I love sports". The person saying it will always have their favourite sport pop up in their head even though we have very little idea what he's thinking of.

This is what he's mapping. What is it that pops up in our heads when we think "BDSM"? There doesn't seem to ever have been an official definition. But i guess we'll have to wait and see what his research will show.

Our party organistion www.d e k a d a n c e .se has a political wing, and this guy among others are part of this. So in a way, I'm also part of this, even though my focus is on the kinky parties.

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thank God someone's doing something like that. is he mapping the society itself or the psychology behind it?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by gagged_Louise

the gay crowd's take on the word straight became so pervasive that us kinky folks had to settle for a new word, so "vanilla" became the one.

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But why?? This shows we had to pick another word as Sir Russell already has stated but I'm still curious as to why it was chosen?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by gagged_Louise

I thought the four-letter acronym BDSM was a conflation of
BD - Bondage and Discipline
DS - Dominance and Submission
SM - Sado-Masochism

---

I had thought the same as posted previously and still wonder if that's the original or if it was as icey suggested, something else

Quote:

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Originally Posted by icey

BDSM didn't it originally just stand for

B-Bondage
D-Domination
S-sadism
M-Masochism

and not Bondage,Domination,Discipline,Sadism,Submission,Ma sochism.

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So, Sir Russell - care to enlighten us? hehe

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DOMLORD

so if vanilla is a life style why is chocolate used, on ocasion, to refer to skin color?

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Again as in comparison to food analogies.......light and dark

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mastersgem

But why?? This shows we had to pick another word as Sir Russell already has stated but I'm still curious as to why it was chosen?

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Easy - vanilla implies that something's plain and ordinary, much like the ice-cream, so it seems like a good fit for the "plain and ordinary" people not involved in the BDSM world.

okies.. on my own site I have what does BDSM stand for.


"What Does BDSM Stand For?
B&D means bondage and dominance, also referred to as bondage and discipline.

S&M stands for sadism and masochism.

D&S also found together means dominance and submission.

Summed up, or married as one it all stands for an individual(s)
dominating a submissive person(s) in a sexual situation."

cg

okies.. on my own site I have what does BDSM stand for.


"What Does BDSM Stand For?
B&D means bondage and dominance, also referred to as bondage and discipline.

S&M stands for sadism and masochism.

D&S also found together means dominance and submission.

Summed up, or married as one it all stands for an individual(s)
dominating a submissive person(s) in a sexual situation."

cg

mastersgem.
I wish I could enlighten you but as I have said I learned it as Bondage Discipline not Dominance but even though I may have more years in the life then others here I am not the know all end all of bdsm knowledge.

Still looking to expand my knowledge and increase my mmmm practice. If my minx gets here I have many new ideas to put to work on her lovely person.

Any one else see what we do as Doms as a practice the way Doctors do?

mastersgem.
I wish I could enlighten you but as I have said I learned it as Bondage Discipline not Dominance but even though I may have more years in the life then others here I am not the know all end all of bdsm knowledge.

Still looking to expand my knowledge and increase my mmmm practice. If my minx gets here I have many new ideas to put to work on her lovely person.

Any one else see what we do as Doms as a practice the way Doctors do?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir_Russell

Any one else see what we do as Doms as a practice the way Doctors do?

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I don't think I've ever considered it quite that way, but there seem to be parallels, yes. Doctors, of course, are there with the idea in mind to cure the patients' ills. Doms, on the other hand, prefer to foster chronic submission in thier clients. ;) However, both are (hopefully) trained in the art of providing a service that, if done well, provides satisfaction and a better quality of life for those they treat. I know a good session always makes ME calmer and easier to talk to, at any rate!

Well amber I was referring to the fact that we are all ways looking to learn more, find better techniques, expand our boundaries and increase our limits

Ahhh... I see. Yes, I would agree that the process of Domming (and subbing, for that matter) is a process undergoing constant evolution. Even a D/s relationship would get rather dull without learning new techniques or expanding the boundaries of our desires.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cool Luke's Hand

I was under the impression that BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) and DS (Domination, Submission) were separate things. You can obviously have DS without BDSM, although I don't think you can have BDSM without DS.

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That last is an interesting perspective. I disagree, but it's interesting none-the-less. lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir_Russell

HMMM I predate the internet by several decades. The earliest definition I know of is B=bondage, D=discipline, S=sadism, M=masochism.

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Me too. That's how I originally learned the acronym, and I quite distinctly remember this term predating the net... by decades.

Quote:

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icey brought up edge play which today seems to mean taking any act to the extreme where injury can be possible or worse. Edge play used to mean knives, swords or anything that could cut.

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Again, I'm in agreement. 'Edge' play was a strict reference to cutting. Now it's anything that pushes the 'edge of your envelope' and I think, quite frankly, it was adopted from the concept 'coined' by Wolfe in The Right Stuff

Oz we have disagreed in the past about words and terms and that it does take common definations about what they mean to have any power.

It is nice to see though that we agree here not that it will do anything other then give these terms the power to be understood.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by gagged_Louise

I thought the four-letter acronym BDSM was a conflation of
BD - Bondage and Discipline Yes
DS - Dominance and Submission No. This is a post-internet addition to the definitions.
SM - Sado-Masochism Yes

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by crazy_grrluk

okies.. on my own site I have what does BDSM stand for.


"What Does BDSM Stand For?
B&D means bondage and dominance, also referred to as bondage and discipline.

S&M stands for sadism and masochism.

D&S also found together means dominance and submission.

Summed up, or married as one it all stands for an individual(s)
dominating a submissive person(s) in a sexual situation."

cg

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BD is/was about Bondage and Discipline, (i.e., punishment.) Remember the old B&D magazines? They had nothing to do with domination or submission per se. Not in the sense we use those terms when we write D/s.

SM has always been about pleasure from pain. Sadists get pleasure by giving pain, masochists from the getting of pain.

The whole D/s conversation and the "need" to find it a place within BDSM has also created a wealth of vocabulary...

so to continue the wordplay...

Top.

Bottom.

I mean... what could be more mundane than those two words? :rolleyes:

Quote:

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Oz we have disagreed in the past about words and terms and that it does take common definations about what they mean to have any power.

It is nice to see though that we agree here not that it will do anything other then give these terms the power to be understood.

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Laffin. True. It's really all you and I tend to argue over... definitions.

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What is your definition of vanilla, and why do we refer to non-lifestylers that way?

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Okay...

When Baskin Robbins first gave us 31-Flavors... I remember... whenever someone ordered vanilla, they'd be chided to experiment a little. Take a chance.

He'd say "But I like vanilla."

We'd say "Vanilla is boring."

And THAT's the origin of equating vanilla to safe but boring. :rolleyes:


Of course... they forgot you could get your nuts crushed with your ice cream back then.... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

:blurp_ani