Printable View
My sub and I are fairly new to the D/s lifestyle change. We originally approached it almost as role play, but we take it much more seriously now. I'm looking for some creative discipline exercises to try out, but most of the websites I have searched have been really cheesy. Does anyone have any advice?
If you all pretend he didn't ask, you dont have to answer....................shhhhhhh
Sorry stripedangel...
Well, as always, there are several options. In my mind, I have catagorised 'punishment' roughly into three seperate groups, which are a) corporal punishment, b) tedious tasks and c) taking away privilage.
Because of the way you ask, I doubt whether my group A is what you meant. Of course, by 'exercises' you could mean just that, and tiring out can be good discipline. Any exercise will do, but I'd suggest something enjoyable to watch; naked jump-roping perhaps?
Some examples of tedious tasks could be doing all laundry by hand (could be regarded as taking away the privilage to use the machine, hence my 'rougly' :)), cleaning the toilet using a toothbrush or writing lines or even sitting in a corner. These are also pretty 'cheesy', as you say, but you should know what your sub hates to do and use it.
Taking away privilage is, I think, the most effective (and harsh) way to discipline. You could for example prohibit sleeping in a bed (or using any other furniture), or only allow your sub to shower with cold water. (The way I see, even allowing a sub to serve sexually is a privilage.) Again, you should know what is suitable when. These privilages can be earned back; it really stimulates good behaviour. * grin*
Whatever you decide to do, make sure there is a clear difference between normal serving/housework and discipline. Punishment only works if it is perfectly clear why it's being handed out, if it's done consistenly and has clear goals.
There are various forms of punishment. It would be easier to answer your question if I knew the punishments you considered "cheesy".
Casie
There are Many posts on this topic Mr. Fix It and it would seem the bottom line is always....Whatever works for both of you ;)
It has to work with your individual turn ons and offs and what exactly you are trying to teach with the discipline.
Wow, THANKSALOT y'allllllll.....Casie, He's open to anything. He listens and considers before making decisions. Surprisingly, He is pretty cheesy, too!
BTW that was indeed sarcasm!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.FixIt
try this one. You may like it
http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/librar...slavepos.shtml
To clarify:
By exercises I do not mean aerobics, and I think that aerobic exercise would be too demeaning and does not reflect the type of discipline that my sub deserves. Humiliation is not my cup of tea at this point in Our relationship, although I realize that humiliation can be effective for some Doms and subs.
I have a semi-full drawer of spanking and bondage implements and use them both frequently in necessary corrective discipline and in play. By "exercises" I mean: a new means of stretching boundaries.
To give an example, I am considering non-permanent piercing, imposed by me, (permanent piercings have not faired well for her, although We enjoyed the initial act). If I knew exactly what I was looking for, I guess I wouldn't be asking for advice though!
It's too bad you are not into humiliation, I have endless ideas for that, but then again that is what I enjoy the most.
If I understand you correctly, you are looking for somthing else to expand your ideas of corrective discipline. Are you looking for actual discipline or for ideas in expanding your play?
I myself don't understand what non-permanent peircing is. I have an idea but don't really get it.
If you could give a few more examples then I am sure that others will be able to expand and offer you more assistance with your query.
I'm big on practicing positions. Good for display. Good for "inspection"
Good for receiving punishment, play, and sex.
Temporary piercing (I believe that I just coined the phrase myself unless anyone can prove me wrong!--I've already been wrong twice this month and I've met my quota!) is the practice of piercing without the jewelry-- piercing of a nipple, labia, sphincter, etc (needle play). Close to a year ago, We researched piercing, (I am also an aspiring tattooist), purchased a piercing kit online, and I, ritualistically, pierced Our nipples. Mine healed well, hers did not. and have since been removed. We REALLY enjoyed the initial act, but realized that her body would not accept the permanent adornments, but we have strongly considered further piercings of her body without the jewlery which would result in the enjoyment of the initial act of piercing, yet the healing process would be much faster. I don't think that I need to explain in much greater detail to you all how much she is giving me by submitting to my control with this act. This, to me, is an exercise--a stretching of limits and boundaries.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.FixIt
Sorry... there are about 441,000 references to 'temporary piercing' on the net. It's also known as 'play piercing'... for which there are 574,000 references. ;)
OK, seems like I completely misunderstood your intentions in my earlier post, but I wasn't the only one...
The way I understand now, you're looking for trust exercises - not discipline - to find limits and expand on them. If it was difficult to think of corrective discipline for someone you do not know, thinking of excercises in trust for them is nearly impossible.
You need to know about boundaries of a person before you can even start to think of stretching them. What they all have in common though, is taking an area which is important to your sub and asking for control over it. It could be as simple as cutting her hair (if you're any good, of course...:)), but your piercing example also fits the bill. These both give you control over her body, for which a lot of trust is needed.
You need to identify the area's in which you wish to expand. Should she have trouble with intimacy, maybe have a nice, romantic dinner together with her blindfolded, where you just feed her lovingly. If there are any toys/kinds of pain she is afraid of, you could slowly start to use those in play, trying to make it feel good. Make sure you are always prepared for anything when stretching limits, by the way. You need to show that you are in control at all times.
This of course works the other way around also. If she knows something to be really important to you, you can show trust by allowing her control over it. This kind of exchange reinforces bonds between people. Be careful though, if anything goes wrong it goes wrong badly.
I hope now at least I understood your question. :)
As far as piercings that are temporary go, if you feel you have the experience I suggest the corset piercings, they are incredibly attractive, temporary, and hurt like hell. Do the piercing thread some ribbon through them and enjoy the very erotic look of them....YUM
If it was you that put this bug in J's ear then, Oz, you're in trouble when I see you this summer... ;) I will cast upon you my most stern look of disdain... *g*Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
FixIt, all kidding to Oz aside, I do have to say the practice of positions works marvelously for J and I. They're good for all sorts of scenarios.
My link above pointed to some of them.Quote:
Originally Posted by DowntownAmber
Hello MrFixIt:
Maybe you could make her get tattoos that say "HIS" on a part of her body, or maybe a picture of you, but not permanently, just with henna or something like that.
Mr. Francesco
How about expanding on the position exercises and make your submissive be part of the furniture.
Have her be a footstool for an hour.
She does wear Our mark (permanently) which symbolizes "Love Beyond Eternity". But I like the way you think.Quote:
Originally Posted by mr. francesco
Thanks. Now you're talking! but I'm not quite experienced enough for that...yet!Quote:
Originally Posted by casie1124
You're not making it easy.....so how about candle wax?
Use the pillar candles though, the more wax the merrier.
Even more effective would be to tenderize different parts of the body with a paddle or whatever you want to use, pour on the wax and then remove it later with a knife.
As I have found out, but have yet to try, there are many other interesting places on the body to drop wax on or in. I'll leave that to your imagination.
We haven't gone there yet--good suggestion! We did some erotic asphyxiation work last night and that went very well. We've toyed with the subject before, (back when we were still 'nilla), but never followed all the way thorugh with it.
So they did, I didn't realize.Quote:
Originally Posted by Warbaby1943
Thanx Wb. ;)
Two of mine are near matches (not the numbers.)
I only use five.
1) for meditation and waiting
2) for inspection
3) for rear entries and rear inspection/punishment/play
4) for begging boons
5) for front punishment/play
All are excellent for solo practice and assisting the mindset.
Thanks for the link WB. I never thought of positioning as a discipline, but I get your drift.Quote:
Originally Posted by Warbaby1943
Not only discipline but you get some very nice views and and handy positions to wield the paddle or whatever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.FixIt
As one who is on the 'doing' end of position practice, it is a very good tool to instill discipline and the mindset to strive always to be a little more. I have 'length of time' goals that I'm working towards, and 2 of the positions I practice are physically straining! I haven't yet met His goal for those two.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.FixIt
It's funny, when i read your question at first, I thought of discipline as in ways we add structure and discipline to our lives or our D/s relationships - I didn't think of it as punishment. So easy to cross the two ideas, especially in western culture where often discipline feels like punishment and punishment is used to instill discipline - and in BDSM culture where the same activity can be used either as discipline or punishment with a very different feel and outcome based on its purpose (could make for a good discussion thread).
I'm still unsure of exactly what you're asking so I'll throw my two cents in the mix here and maybe it will land somewhere near the mark.
I'd echo the positions training that was already mentioned, but add in other types of rituals too like the use of mantras or setting rules around activities (like asking permission for basic needs/wants). Maybe look at an activities list to get ideas too. So many activities can be used to expand limits and tweeked to be used in a manner that adds the element of establishing discipline.
I'm fairly new to all this so I don't speak with great confidence in what I shared, but trying to get more involved and add what I have learned / am learning. Hope it helps.
I am not in the practice of making things easy! Thanks for the suggestion!Quote:
Originally Posted by cadence
Everyday should be a learning experience. That being said, we are all, and will always be "fairly new to this" and fairly new to everything that we truly apply ourselves to. Your level of confidence is not questionable, you are well spoken and I thank you for your advice.Quote:
Originally Posted by donriser
I have given my personal definition of "exercises" so now that it has come into question, I suppose that I should give my personal definition of discipline. The following is the definition of discipline according to dictionary.com:
dis·ci·pline Pronunciation[dis-uh-plin]–noun
1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.
2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.
3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.
4. the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty.
5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.
6. a set or system of rules and regulations.
7. Ecclesiastical. the system of government regulating the practice of a church as distinguished from its doctrine.
8. an instrument of punishment, esp. a whip or scourge, used in the practice of self-mortification or as an instrument of chastisement in certain religious communities.
9. a branch of instruction or learning: the disciplines of history and economics.
–verb (used with object) 10. to train by instruction and exercise; drill.
11. to bring to a state of order and obedience by training and control.
12. to punish or penalize in order to train and control; correct; chastise.
My military service taught me that discipline is more of a self-control issue rather than an imposed subject--But that doesn't work for everyone, otherwise subbies would not need Doms and the world would come to an end! :) As a supervisor in my workplace, discipline is a means of correcting an undesired behavior for the benefit of the Agency. To me, if discipline is about self-control and correction of undesired behaviors, discipline is not a "punishment". Punishment, to me, is a much more severe and imposed matter. I hope that this clarifies your understanding of my use and intent of the phrase "discipline" in my original post.
Regarding your suggestion of setting rules: I created a new one today, just prior to reading your post--she must ask permission to masturbate, even when I am at work (via text message).
And, I agree, Discipline vs. Punishment would make an interesting thread subject.
Now it's your turn to explain--What do you mean by "mantras"?
Thank you for the response. It seems we have some similar views on the term discipline.
As far as a mantra, well mantras have a great history to them in religious or spiritual contexts as a means of focus or meditation. It can a be a word or phrase or even a prayer repeated continuously or periodically throughout the day.
My exposure to them in the BDSM context has come through the Academy here at the library where occasionally a Taskmaster (Dominant) will use one in a task as a means of focusing in submission. For example, a recent task I completed had this mantra (said it a lot - it was meaningful to me and has stayed with me these few weeks later) "Good submissives follow their instructions. I am a good submissive. I follow my instructions. I demonstrate my submission in . . . " Of course there was a specific way I demonstrated my submission, but the mantra came to represent more to me and I began thinking of other ways this was true - especially when doing things I may feel some resistance to or fear of. In that way it added to my discipline because it helped me focus and reinforced what I wanted on a deeper level than simply focusing on my fears or resistance. It strengthened my self-discipline and helped me in my submission.
I hope that helps. May have said too much, but hopefully not. I'm still trying to guage how things work here.
Your knowledge seems to be extensive, and (whodathunkit) i appreciate this post! i believe that you will do fine here.Quote:
Originally Posted by donriser
That's what I thought you meant by "mantras". I just had never considered mantras to be useful in relation to BDSM...Interesting point of view...Thanks!Quote:
Originally Posted by donriser
Aloha
just a thought (sorry if its already been suggested). Why not join the Acadamy and have her do a Task from there as a form of discipline?
regards Dragon
We checked into the Academy. Stripey filled out the questionaire (which was very useful information for me). But when We started looking at the setup, it doesn't appear to be the right place for Us. We have been married for 12 years, and in this lifestyle increasingly over the last two years. I could never allow her to accept tasks from others, and I could never feel good about tasking others myself. She is my slave, but We belong to each other. Your advice may be good for others, but it will not work for Us. Thanks anyway!Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Dragon
my owner has had me personally used mantras and other meditation techniques like tantra to help with my disipline and conditioning for a variety of things, (not all of them bdsm related).
Focus on His desires and intentions to bring my submission to his will to the forefront has and is a primary consern with regards to disipline in my relationship with my owner,, he has me under his will so to speak at all times, (even in here) sometimes its a more structured enviroment, such as, 0500 awake and clean house make bed etc, then prepare breakfast, then awake master in appropriate fashion, kegal excersies etc etc, like a schedule,
in other ways its much more circumstancial, depending on the situation, i ask myself what He would wish for me to do etc and in many instances something ive eaither invented myself to please him or anticipated he would desire has become incorperated into the realm of my submission ,
He has used a wide variety of disipline building excersises from cr(orgasm control/ no mastubation restriction etc) to dressing apropriately to his wishes, positional excersises, assigned behavoral tasks, preforming certian activites such as dance classess, even to being under the modality of the she quadruped and unable to verbally speak etc,
He has allways told me that such given tasks are not punishments because in our type of D/s relationship punishment is ussually swift and very direct.
over the years ive actually come to see the hidden wisdom within many of them as training to improve my submission to his will, especially ones i used to find uncomfortable at first such as remaining in an Ushiro Takatekote (arm box tie) wilst preforming certian tasks around the house etc etc
Reading and studying, eating what i am fed, (i love to be fed by hand) going to school, the gym, shoping etc etc, all become part of his dominion over me, all of them make up the love and freedom of my submission to his disipline ,his will
hopefully you and stripey can garner something to use for your own relationship from the above Sir, my owner and i are allways happy to help or give ideas, though admittably it would help to know what sorts of things you allready have her doing for you as disipline building excersises etc,
I reiterate... positions. Make a set that pleases you.
...and once you do... this thread will be worthless without pictures. :rolleyes:
You and your need for visual imagery...Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
:D
Figures, Ozme you'd try to weasel some durty pix out of this.........perv.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
:icon176:
what are yu camera shy sis? winks