Is BDSM a religion?

I'm a person who thinks a lot. And since I've noticed that inside a BDSM community there is a lot of similar patterns, habits, general conduct, rules and sort of an own language too - could it resemble a religion sort of? Mistresses/masters who are in fact worshipped as goddesses/gods. And I find it strange to hear that many are feeling such powerful emotions and devotion almost like under a spell or trance of some kind.

Do you ever think about who is it that you are actually worshipping? What if it's not really a human at all? And if it's not God, then who is it?

good morning

you are new here, and probibly new to the idea.
you are taking things out of context. if you are ever in the position withing a relationship that has this bond, you will know, you will understand.

This is not a religion!

I don't feel that there is any kind of worship going on here. For me it is not worship or a God-like status that makes me adore my Dom. It is the way his power over me makes me feel. I worship only one God and my Sir is not that God. I am not under a spell or a trance. Yes, it is wonderful that he can make me forget myself sometimes and just completely surrender to him. But that also is a willing choice, not a spell. His control over me is a choice i've made and no one tried to talk me into it. Please do not try to make this sound like a cult. It is so far from it. The #1 rule that I have discovered is that there is no set rules or guidelines. A D/s relationship is different for each and every couple involved in one. What works for Sir and myself may not work for someone else and everyone is okay with that. I would suggest that you do much more exstensive research on the lifestyle. I personally find your thread offensive. But maybe that is just me.

Religions have both mysticism (worship of a God or Gods or some entity) and a moral ethic (code of behavior).

BDSM certainly does have a code of ethics but so do Doctors, Barbers and the like. There is no "God" in BDSM or in Medicine, etc.

Therefore BDSM is not a religion.

By the way Taoism is a mysticism without a moral code and Confuciusism is a moral ethic without a God. Therefore the two are often combined. The major world's religions have both.

What you have noticed is true in any community where people share similar interests and beliefs, and I suppose one could accuse anybody of having a "religion," such as yuppies worshipping the almighty dollar. There are different kinds of "worship" in BDSM, i.e. cock worship, foot worship, etc. It's not done in the same context as worshipping as we know it in regards to religion. As much as I love my boyfriend's cock, I don't pray to it or believe that it has mystical powers no matter how much I enjoy sex with him. *lol* As to the emotions and devotion, I can honestly say that I've never loved a man the way I love V, but the only time I'm in anything resembling a trance is during play. I suspect it's caused by endorphins, much like a runner's high which enables one to finish a marathon.

BDSM is a lifestyle but not a religion. The reason I say this (as well as all the other excellent points made above) is because BDSM changes on a time scale a lot quicker than any religion. BDSM practise and ethics are always undergoing changes as we evaluate and revise what we do. Many religions get stuck into ruts of dogma which limit thier ability to change with the times.

Of course, this is not to say that we do not have dogma of our own and that there are many who are stuck in their ways. However, we are still more prepared to assess our beliefs and codes than some religions are and make significant changes to them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Veronika

I'm a person who thinks a lot. And since I've noticed that inside a BDSM community there is a lot of similar patterns, habits, general conduct, rules and sort of an own language too - could it resemble a religion sort of? Mistresses/masters who are in fact worshipped as goddesses/gods.

---

The worship that you hear of here isn't like that in a religion. Worship here refers to an act, not a belief that there is anything to be gained from it. Not eternal life, not sudden healing, not never-ending cookies(however my doll would get those if she just asked nicely enough).

Quote:

---

And I find it strange to hear that many are feeling such powerful emotions and devotion almost like under a spell or trance of some kind.

---

A spell or a trance? Perhaps you are referring to Domspace or subspace. Why is it strange? Is it not similar to the way sports players talk about 'being in the zone' or when authors spew forth pages and chapters and entire books in a sitting because they're focused entirely upon what's before them? I have a feeling that you are misinformed, or have drawn your own conclusions after watching some show, reading some book, or having a close friend confide in you that their lifestyle is D/s and it bothered you. I do hope that we here can help clear the air, so to speak, and you can understand what it is you're obviously confused about.

Quote:

---

Do you ever think about who is it that you are actually worshipping? What if it's not really a human at all? And if it's not God, then who is it?

---

Again, this ties in to what I said in the first part. I'm sorry you feel this way, but perhaps through opening your eyes and your mind, you can see that we're not Devil-worshipers, which you alluded to with your parting question.

Just my two cookie-scented cents.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by satisfied

I personally find your thread offensive. But maybe that is just me.

---

Why would you find it offensive? You people are emphasizing it that we are all different and all should be respected. Why am I not allowed to ponder here. This is a discussion forum right? All views welcome?

All views are welcome I suppose. You are allowed to ponder.

That doesn't mean one can't take offense to a post though. Offense is personal just like your views are.

BTW, I find it curious that you responded to this one comment rather than all the orthers.

re⋅li⋅gion
–noun
1. a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

No BDSM is in no way a religion. It's a lifestyle... like people who like fishing, hunting, skiing, skateboarding. You can find a discussion board for anything! Why would this be a religion. I don't generally like to talk about my personal beliefs, but I'm Christian. No I don't 'worship' my Master in the same way I worship my God. Nor would he ever ask me to.

If we like we can get into the many facets of religion that agree with BDSM lifestyle as a practice. Ever read the old testamant? I have, you should check into that sometime. Or perhaps the Kabala? Or know anything about Shinto, or Hinduism or Judaism? Almost all government recognized religions speak for D/s relationships in marriage.

The powerful emotions you speak of, is a rush of endorphins and adrenaline. We have dubbed it sub and Dom space. For simplicity of talking about it.

I'm enamored with my Master, I love him with all my heart. He owns me, body and mind. But my soul belongs to God.

Religion. I hope not, and dont seriously think so.
Some in the BDSM community do act and live as they are part of a cult though.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SubmissiveDoll

I don't generally like to talk about my personal beliefs, but I'm Christian. No I don't 'worship' my Master in the same way I worship my God.

---

Do you believe that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Saviour? Do you believe Jesus died on the cross and rose again for your sins?

I had an interesting article that I was supposed to post here about BDSM and its link to religion. But as a newbie I can't.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Aibo

Some in the BDSM community do act and live as they are part of a cult though.

---

This is interesting, could you tell me more?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Veronika

Why would you find it offensive? You people are emphasizing it that we are all different and all should be respected. Why am I not allowed to ponder here. This is a discussion forum right? All views welcome?

---

I agree with this... if you find threads like this offensive then you should maybe consider not reading them.

As an aside... if you feel uncomfortable because your beliefs are challenged it may be because you need to reconsider those beliefs either to consolidate them (by reaffirming them) or to change them. It is the purpose of a debate like this to challenge any beliefs so that they can be assessed on an individual basis by all who read it. None here intend to offend and it is unfortunate that some will inevitably always get offended by such discussions. However, you cannot ask anyone (who has not deliberately gone out of their way to offend someone by saying something inflammatory) to apologise for simply stating thier own beliefs just because they disagree with yours.

Of course, anyone who does go out of their way to cause offense by posting inflammatory comments (like 'All Buddhists are idiots', for example) will be in violation of the T&Cs and will be expected to make reparations for their actions.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Veronika

Why would you find it offensive? You people are emphasizing it that we are all different and all should be respected. Why am I not allowed to ponder here. This is a discussion forum right? All views welcome?

---

I agree with this... if you find threads like this offensive then you should maybe consider not reading them.

As an aside... if you feel uncomfortable because your beliefs are challenged it may be because you need to reconsider those beliefs either to consolidate them (by reaffirming them) or to change them. It is the purpose of a debate like this to challenge any beliefs so that they can be assessed on an individual basis by all who read it. None here intend to offend and it is unfortunate that some will inevitably always get offended by such discussions. However, you cannot ask anyone (who has not deliberately gone out of their way to offend someone by saying something inflammatory) to apologise for simply stating thier own beliefs just because they disagree with yours.

Of course, anyone who does go out of their way to cause offense by posting inflammatory comments (like 'All Buddhists are idiots', for example) will be in violation of the T&Cs and will be expected to make reparations for their actions.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Veronika

Do you believe that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Saviour? Do you believe Jesus died on the cross and rose again for your sins?

I had an interesting article that I was supposed to post here about BDSM and its link to religion. But as a newbie I can't.

---

I'll answer this. I shouldn't but I will. Yes I believe in Jesus Christ, unless there is some new fangled Christianity that I'm unaware of. Your questions are disrespectful and demeaning. As well as ignorant.

I have to admit I'm curious about this article you were SUPPOSED to post here. Would that be the only reason you joined? Your happy to attack us here for being offended by your rude and offensive posts, but you can't take the same criticism that you are dealing out. Do I walk into your family and begin telling you how you are doing everything wrong? No, because how you live your life is between you and God.

Are you attempting to speak to me of my personal religion? If you would like please do. I'm happy to continue this. I'm not afraid of my religion or my lifestyle. I have peace and happiness in my life and it will take a lot more than your narrow views to ruin it for me.

Now, if you have question about BDSM please ask. Just try to do so in a way that isn't offensive to everyone here. Thanks!

Yipes. Clearly you've hit a nerve, Veronika. Anyway, I don't think it's a stupid question and I don't think it's offensive either. Furthermore, I'm pretty sure the moderators encourage those who are offended by a post to, you know, navigate away from it. Given some of the things that are posted on here it's interesting that this one seems to be extra shocking.

Anyway, in answer to your question - no, I don't think bdsm is a religion, but I do see parallels between some aspects of bdsm and some aspects of some religions. Sorry, guys! If you don't like this, no one's making you read it.

First, I do think you've correctly identified that there can be a certain amount of religious fervor that people bring to some interactions - or, to be more precise, to their descriptions of those interactions and of their emotions. I've certainly felt this, and I've enjoyed it and I don't confuse it with blasphemy, but I recognize the parallels. Second, speaking only of my own religious tradition, it is clear to me that some of the ways we are encouraged or required to approach God are in many ways similar to certain bdsm rituals. Moreover, our relationship with God in some ways mirrors that of a sub to a Dom, or, as we like to say in my religion, to a master.

OK, but I'm reversing the causality - the religion doesn't mirror the bdsm, the bdsm MITRRORS THE RELIGION. Do I think this is intentional? Of course not. But bdsm arises from deeply felt needs, just as religion does, and it's not reasonable to think that bdsm would just invent its emotions and rituals with no reference whatever to other deeply felt experiences. And besides, IMHO, our relationship with God is the ultimate power exchange.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rachel06

OK, but I'm reversing the causality - the religion doesn't mirror the bdsm, the bdsm MITRRORS THE RELIGION. Do I think this is intentional? Of course not. But bdsm arises from deeply felt needs, just as religion does, and it's not reasonable to think that bdsm would just invent its emotions and rituals with no reference whatever to other deeply felt experiences. And besides, IMHO, our relationship with God is the ultimate power exchange.

---

This is beautiful Rachel. Thanks.

Fetishdj: You are making good points there. It's nice to discuss with people who are not threatened by different views. And thanks for all other replies as well. I am not a member of BDSM community but I do take various interest in life, people, their behaviour and beliefs.

Well shoot. I thought this was a board for folks in the BDSM lifestyle. Odd that what I've thought as a safe haven for where I could go to talk to discuss things without fear of recrimination or being judged...I suppose I'm wrong and just a subject for observation for the vanilla world.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SubmissiveDoll

Your questions are disrespectful and demeaning. As well as ignorant.

---

Which questions exactly? I don't think any of my posts are.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SubmissiveDoll

Your happy to attack us here for being offended by your rude and offensive posts, but you can't take the same criticism that you are dealing out.

---

Attack? That's not true at all. Is it possible that my posts scared you in some way? It's not like I would've called anyone names or said you are doing something wrong I never said that.

Originally Posted by Veronika
Do you ever think about who is it that you are actually worshipping? What if it's not really a human at all? And if it's not God, then who is it?[/QUOTE]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay so maybe the word offensive was not exactly what i was trying to say. I suppose that what i meant was....Where exactly did you get the idea that we are worshipping anyone? This is a lifestyle choice we are all making and the way you phrased the above statements gives me the impression that you think we are a cult. I would imagine that there are millions of people who don't understand us that would feel the same way you do. So the real question is...Do you honestly believe we are worshipping some imaginary god, or are you just curious to find out if we think we are?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rachel06

it is clear to me that some of the ways we are encouraged or required to approach God are in many ways similar to certain bdsm rituals.

---

I've studied this and ran into a document which was: The Slaves Prayer. That is as close to a religion as it can be in my mind. There are lines like this: "Grant me the power to give myself to Him completely", "Let me open myself up to completely belong to him", "Allow me the spirit to know his needs." This combined with kneeling, ritual positions, in some extreme cases cutting. Sounds pretty scary to me.

But what I understand this slave thing isn't that common is it? Are there more submissives than slaves?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by satisfied

Do you honestly believe we are worshipping some imaginary god, or are you just curious to find out if we think we are?

---

I think it's possible that BDSM is linked to yoga, tantra, buddhism, wicca or in some ways encourages to join them. But I can't be sure that's why I'm studying it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Veronika

I'm a person who thinks a lot. And since I've noticed that inside a BDSM community there is a lot of similar patterns, habits, general conduct, rules and sort of an own language too - could it resemble a religion sort of? Mistresses/masters who are in fact worshipped as goddesses/gods. And I find it strange to hear that many are feeling such powerful emotions and devotion almost like under a spell or trance of some kind.

Do you ever think about who is it that you are actually worshipping? What if it's not really a human at all? And if it's not God, then who is it?

---

Alltough this thread would be better placed in the religion and philosophy section of the forums I will respond here.

It is easy to see how an outsider to the community might mis-construe some of the more formalized practices and lingua argot to be of a theological nature; however, if anything it is more of a philosophy for those of us that adhere to the more ritualistic and or symbolic elements of BDS&M.

The practice of bdsm is no more in conflict with our respected faiths than the sexual practices of the vanillia world are to thiers.

If anything it is less in conflict with many of the D/s aspects of patriarical based faiths as well as many eastrn theologies.

It is also easy for the mis-informed to make snap judgements based on incorrect assumptions.

If the feelings of devotion and love that a submissive and a Dominant feel for one another appear to be so overwhelming or in essence appear to be acts of mutual worship to casual outside observation, it is only becuase they are in so many ways more genuine than those of vanillia couples who still reside isolated within the confines of self made prisons filled with doubt and mutual loathing.

And in that regard I pity them.

I have never run across the document you're referring to, but I would think that whoever wrote it was praying to whichever god she/he worships in regards to whatever religion she/he follows. It could easily be God of Christianity or a pagan god or goddess. It still doesn't make BDSM a religion.

There are some parts of Christianity that are pretty scary if you think about it and sound a lot like D/s. A wife is commanded to submit to her husband in all things. Women are not to speak out in church and risk embarrassing their husbands with their ignorance but are told to wait and ask their husbands. It is suggested that we should go into a dark closet to pray.

The slave versus sub debate is a whole other topic that you'd probably find plenty of answers to if you use the "search" function.

I have seen the slaves prayer and it is a prayer to God, not to the dominant. Though it does ask God's blessing to give the submissive the ability to please her dominant. It is also a very bueatiful sentiment.

Here is a copy of it:

A Slave’s Prayer

From my knees, I ask with all of my heart…
Grant me the strength to submit to Him
Without fear or doubt - only with love in my heart
Grant me the ability to make His will my own
Even when I cannot understand the reasons
Grant me the wisdom to know silence and
To always speak with humility and respect
Grant me serenity in my service to Him
That my joy may become His
Grant me the ability to bring Him
Comfort and pleasure in His use of my body
Grant me the grace to accept punishment
In a manner befitting of the woman He owns
That I reflect well on Him in every moment
Allow me to accept Him as He has become
To change what I am to what He desires
Without losing the girl that He chose to make His
Grant me the ability to inspire Him and
To bring light to guide our way on this journey
But more than anything else, I ask
Grant me my greatest desire
To make His life complete
As He makes mine

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Veronika

: "Grant me the power to give myself to Him completely", "Let me open myself up to completely belong to him", "Allow me the spirit to know his needs."

?

---

im a slave and i know that what i do is right for me...it has nothing to do with religion, just the adoration of a slave for her Master.

im also a committed christian and the feelings i have for my God are totally different to my feelings for my Master. BDSM is a lifestyle choice, not a religion or a cult...it cant be as W/we in the lifestyle have too much variety for it to be.

your remarks arent offensive as such, but i can see why some people may thinks so. if anything youre naive....read the threads, learn more about our lifestyle, then maybe you will learn all you need to know.

if you ever want to chat, contact me, im here to talk as long as you are willing to listen to views that may not match yours

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Flaming_Redhead

There are some parts of Christianity that are pretty scary if you think about it and sound a lot like D/s. A wife is commanded to submit to her husband in all things.

---

Yes but the husband and wife are submitting to Christ so it's not like the husband is allowed to do wrong things. So if the husband is breaking against God wife doesn't have to obey him.

22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, people have never hated their own bodies, but they feed and care for them, just as Christ does the church
-Ephesians 5:22, 5:28-29

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jezabel {ukMC}

if anything youre naive....

---

Really? I think its offensive to try to make me believe I'm on a child's level or something. Not that I'm offended. I know I'm an intelligent adult. Master. Now there is a word. Makes you wonder can you serve two Masters at the same time?

Now everyone has the right to serve whichever Master they pick, don't they?

And if one wants a threesome (two Masters) who's to say why not? Certainly, not you or don't you believe in the Trinity!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Veronika

This is interesting, could you tell me more?

---

Even though this thread borders on a flamewar already. I will reply.

So yes, I used the word cult, and we find quite a number of similarities.

Cults tend to have a uniform, on BDSM gatherings you find something called 'dresscode' - ok not the best example since you see quite some variety, yet there is something to it, since everthing you see there, is something you dont see on the streets. And so you have the closed society setting, another sign of a cult.

Rules of conduct. Only certain ways of behaviour are allowed, switches tends to have a hard time both in reality as well as on forums.
Also if you have one interest that is outside the norm. Animal roleplayers to mention one example are often attacked with deliberate misunderstandings even suggestions of copulating with animals by other BDSM interested individuals.

Even within one male dominant female submissive relationship you will find that the ceiling is quite low, even on a forum.
If a submissive is allowed to suggest things, then you can bet you soon will see posts telling that she 'is topping from the bottom' and that you are a crappy Master. The examples can be made manifold but I will move on to some other points.

Breaking the law, many of us in many countries do break the law with these activities. We need not look further than Great Britain to find examples of raids by the police and arrests.

This does not only account for the action of private couples at home. Some BDSM organisations do even have bylaws that go against the legislation of the society where they are found. Examples found in several countries, though I limit to only one BDSM organisation in Norway where they have some ideas I don't subscribe to, including on rape.

That we do this for one erotic purpose changes nothing, many cults do indeed have the same aim, it may be polyamory ...or things we might dont even want to contemplate here (well I spit it out, children yuck.)

If you go against the dogma of a cult, you will be expulsed or banned.
Also that we can see here, very often there is only one view that is allowed on a number of matters.

Reading over your questions and comments, V, it's clear there are many things you have still to learn about BDSM. It's perfectly all right not to know - everyone was new once and plenty of newbies are joining here all the time to learn and grow. If it is your wish to genuinely learn about this lifestyle for whatever reasons, personal or otherwise, you'll find no finer place. You'd get on better if you showed a little courtesy to those members who take the time to respond to you with knowledge and intelligence. You'd do that anywhere, wouldn't you? People on here value the sense of genuine community they engender. You'd be most welcome if this is what you too are honestly seeking.

If, however, you wish only to be emptily provocative and argue purely for the sake of it, that is your choice too. You can see how such antagonism might not help you learn or make your points convincingly, I'm sure. But I repeat, if you wish to learn and be part of a very real and valued community, you'd find yourself most welcome.

Take care x x

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Aibo

If you go against the dogma of a cult, you will be expulsed or banned. Also that we can see here, very often there is only one view that is allowed on a number of matters.

---

True. Also might I add the attitude may be in some cases "us against the rest of the world" and isolation. For example if the master/mistress forbids sub/slave to contact certain people or media.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Veronika

Yes but the husband and wife are submitting to Christ so it's not like the husband is allowed to do wrong things. So if the husband is breaking against God wife doesn't have to obey him.

22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, people have never hated their own bodies, but they feed and care for them, just as Christ does the church
-Ephesians 5:22, 5:28-29

---

That would be in a perfect world. I don't understand why you think the husband isn't "allowed" to do wrong things or why the wife doesn't have to obey him. *smiles* In the case of marriage to an unbeliever, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him. If the unbeliever leaves, THEN are they not bound.

I'm also not sure what your definition of "wrong things" is. Sex isn't wrong. Husbands and wives are to share their bodies with each other. Their bodies are not their own. It is their marital duty to please the other. It doesn't say how exactly....as much as the church would like us to believe that it's the missionary position.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pearlgem

But I repeat, if you wish to learn and be part of a very real and valued community, you'd find yourself most welcome.

---

In other words, I'm not allowed to think differently in here at all? To me that is narrowminded. And questioning some things to have a interesting conversation is not arguing in my opinion. Is it in yours?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Veronika

Really? I think its offensive to try to make me believe I'm on a child's level or something. Not that I'm offended. I know I'm an intelligent adult. Master. Now there is a word. Makes you wonder can you serve two Masters at the same time?

---

im glad ur not offended, as i wasnt trying to offend u....im far too intelligent an adult for that, esp as ive read the forums t&cs and would hate to get myself banned for such an insignificant reason.

Master is the name i call my Dom out of politeness and respect...my relationship with God and what i call Him are not up for discussion, not because im too scared to, not allowed to or not intelligent enough to have a proper debate about it, but this is a lifestyle chat not a religious one....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Flaming_Redhead

I'm also not sure what your definition of "wrong things" is.

---

Anything against the word of Bible. Of course sex is not wrong who said that?

Okay so now after 15 posts I'm allowed to post that article I was talking about: http://www.mn-mistress.net/spiritualquest.htm

Religion is a faith, e.g. beliving in somthing blindly. A sub that has never met a master a meets them has faith that they will not hurt them. This does not make it a Religion becuse the trust and faith is earned and not blind faith.