Taming the beast- my transition from Dom to sub

This is my journal to document my transition from dominance to submission. First, i should introduce myself a little. My wife and i have been married for 15 years and we've been BDSM lifestylers for several years. We began as a Master/slave relationship complete with a blood-signed contract, and after a year or so we relaxed into a D/s S&M agreement where I was the dominant male. Everything was fine until I began drinking again, and occasionally i became an overly dominant ass when drinking heavily and i lost Her trust. I'm still drinking, but not as heavily. We decided it was time for a change a couple of weeks ago and now i am Her submissive beast and She is my dominant Princess. We agreed on some basic rules and guidlines, and i was looking forward to the break from the responsibilities of dominance.

One of those rules was that i could not be aggressive sexually and take Her any ol' time i wanted. Instead, i have to be gentle and ask permisssion. Last week i forgot the rules, got carried away and continued aggressive advances even after She said to stop. She scolded me and insisted that i get 4 stripes from the cane (actually a plastic mini-blind rod that was once one of my favorite implements to wield). i obeyed and took my punishment, but to my surprise there was nothing fun or sensual about my punishment! I am a grown-ass man and a fairly big guy too! Strypi is only 4'9" but She laid into me with that cane real proper, and i *CRIED* Then She made me sit up on my knees and face her while She explained the rules to me. i was embarrassed, ashamed and ANGRY. i had to ask for a cool down break. i put on my Pantera Pandora radio station, cranked up the volume, did the dishes and pouted for an hour before i was able to apologize and thank Her for the punishment. That was a range of emotions that i never expected.

Since then i have been behaving much better. We rented a hotel room for a night and i got to be "let out of my cage" for the full moon. We had a full session complete with a paddling, the flogger, accupuncture of my penis, and then She let the beast ravage her. We decided to celebrate each full moon in a similar fashion.

That's all i have to report for now. Feel free to comment and i'll update this thread often if She approves.

I think that you have done a great job here, My beautiful beastie. I will enter a reply here for every journal entry you post.

You were very honest and I am proud of you. However, you did not forget the rules. You thought (or maybe hoped) that I would give in to you. You were testing the line to see if I would allow you to cross it. I will not.

I happen to like the aggressive advances...but when you are drinking, those behaviors grow and mutate. You turn into someone hateful and abusive, and you frighten me. You are MUCH bigger than I.

You are a tough man! You truly have a beast inside you. I love you for who you are, and that includes the beast. But the beast needs to direct that energy away from this Princess, except when it is appropriate to do otherwise.

Together, we will get you tamed. You are taking great strides already!

I must admit, I am enjoying seeing you all marked-up...

*strokes your cheek*
Goooood beastie.

Strypi reddened my ass real proper in a session today with a leather riding strap, and i enjoyed it. She could have been a little rougher though. She is trying to use all of my old spanking implements that are really too large for Her. We'll need to purchase or build some new ones soon that are more suited to Her. I am enjoying pleasing her more each day.

:pd

Goood beast.

She took that last post as a challenge (not quite intended), but I look forward to our session tonight. *house to ourselves*

Princess Strypi just instructed me that i am Her submissive and not Her 'sub' as I have indicated previously here and on Facebook. i will not make that mistake again. Thanks for the correction Princess.

For any of you wondering if this couple is for real, please see the following pics and decide for yourselves:

Vampire paddle


my bruised/bleeding ass


Strypi REALLY accepted my challenge, and She laid into my ass tonight tougher than i ever did as Her dom! It was a wonderful session that brought tears to my eyes. She used 2 different paddles that i built, the mini blind rod, some PVC pipe, and the flogger. She used the flogger up and down my back and legs and i really enjoyed that. Everything else was really painful, especially the vampire paddle we bought tonight. It brought tears to my eyes--i cried like a a bitch and it made me bleed! I asked Her several times if i could call her a name, and She agreed... i called Her a sadistic cunt, and it didn't phase Her at all. She knew it was true and She reveled in that fact!

Thank you Princess for putting me in my place. i worship You!

My beautiful beastie, you're so good at taking a beating! Your ass is magnificent, and even better with all those marks. My favorite part of the night was when you begged me to stop flogging your nipples, with tears streaming from your eyes...and then you took one more.

Gooood beastie.

To comment on the "submissive instead of sub" thang...

You are my submissive, not my sub. To me, "sub" is what goes beneath. You are not beneath me. Some subbies are, and that is fine.

Beating a giant beast such as yourself takes a lot out of a girl!!

Transitioning from a dom to a sub requires balls. My hat off to you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DrZoidberg

Transitioning from a dom to a sub requires balls. My hat off to you.

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Thanks DrZ.

Had a short session last night. Had to be quiet due to a house guest. It was enough to raise more bruises though. We've found that PVC pipe is both quiet & effective. I think Princess is having no troubles with dominance or sadism.

This is a fascinating journey/ journal you have written. I'm very much enjoying it.

Strypi turned my ass black and blue the day before yesterday. She laid into me with almost every implement we own! Previously, She had allowed me to critique her spanking techniques since i do have a lot of experience. i told Her that She could use a lot more force instead of sharp little taps by swinging Her entire armand not just Her wrist. She's really getting the swing of it. *terrible pun* It was an enjoyable session.

Yesterday we were about to have sex. When i started to raise Her shirt She resisted. Without hesitation i reached for my 4" folding knife from the bedside table, flipped it open with a flick of my wrist, gathered Her shirt, and put the blade to the fibers of Her shirt. When i saw the shock and fear in Her eyes, i bowed my head, folded and put the knife away and apologized for my insubordinate behavior.

IF THE ROLES HAD BEEN REVERSED...

...and they were only two weeks ago, this would have been acceptable and enjoyable for both of us. There's not much we haven't tried. We've enjoyed lots of edge play including: knife play, breath play, bondage and restraint, needle play and piercing, humiliation and the list goes on. So my insubordinate knife incident was not unusual activity for us, but it was highly inappropriate now that i have agreed to submit. i am certain that i will be punished severely and fairly.

She is already a better Dom than i ever was, and being submissive is definitely going to be a struggle for me, but i am beginning to enjoy the concept of submission. i am little ashamed to admit that i am enjoying the beatings too.

Tchus y'all

Beast...

You are misbehaving now, and this night's bad behavior will be noted.

Insubordination. I have instructed you multiple times, and you have flat-out ignored me.
Back-talk. When you acknowledged that I said something, it was argumentative.

This is unacceptable.

We will discuss these issues later.

Sorry. Parlay?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strypi's beast

Sorry. Parlay?

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Penalties? Yes!

Thoughts on fitting penalties?

Beast,

You expressed that you wanted this be your journal thread....and I agree that you should have it for that purpose. I will only reply to your entries from now on.

I apologize for embarrassing you and as soon as I can figure out how to delete that post I will do so.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strypi

...how to delete that post...

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Suggest you edit and replace all with a period or something similar.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strypi

Penalties? Yes!

Thoughts on fitting penalties?

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Since You asked, i think the public humiliation on this thread is more than enough punishment since humiliation was an agreed "hard limit". Anything further would only add injury to insult. But it is your decision. Also there is no need to edit Your post--the toothpaste is already out of the tube and can't really be put back.

i'm not submitting very well, i keep forgetting. As an alternative to a collar, Princess is getting a pair of studded, leather, locking arm bands for 24/7 use. Maybe that will help me to remember my place. i am disappointed in myself :-(

...in the meantime, look what She gave me! The locking cuffs and the triskele ring both used to belong to Her and i am proud to wear them.

my cuffs and ring

my cuffs and ring (closeup)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strypi's beast

Since You asked, i think the public humiliation on this thread is more than enough punishment since humiliation was an agreed "hard limit". Anything further would only add injury to insult. But it is your decision. Also there is no need to edit Your post--the toothpaste is already out of the tube and can't really be put back.

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It is now understood that there was a misunderstanding about the understood word "Parlay". We will not address this, there is no issue here, my beautiful Beast.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strypi's beast

i'm not submitting very well, i keep forgetting. As an alternative to a collar, Princess is getting a pair of studded, leather, locking arm bands for 24/7 use. Maybe that will help me to remember my place. i am disappointed in myself :-(

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You are going through the same thing that we all go through. I want you to pleasestop beating yourself up when you make a mistake. As with all of our decisions of this nature, we will talk in depth and in private about it. Suffice it to say, we will get through this big change together, my love.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strypi's beast

...in the meantime, look what She gave me! The locking cuffs and the triskele ring both used to belong to Her and i am proud to wear them.

my cuffs and ring

my cuffs and ring (closeup)

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I am so happy that you like your new ring! That ring means a lot to me, and I hope you will grow to treasure it as I have. It looks stunning on your hand, too!

i am afraid my spirit is about broken. Yesterday was a bad day, and today is not much better. Sorry folks, it wouldn't be proper for me to share details. this is a LOT tougher than i expected and i don't know how much longer i can continue.

Last night Princess Strypi and i had a session, and i was punished for my poor behavior earlier this week. i'll tell more about that in the next post. Right now, i need to tell you about the most embarrassing thing i've ever experienced that happened today. After our session Strypi took photos of my bruises and welts, including photos of my punishment caning stripes on my cock using my Droid phone for the purpose of sharing here on this thread. We took all kinds of precautions to ensure that the camera was set to auto upload to the correct (private) Photobucket folder we created. This morning at work, I checked my Facebook timeline and saw a post from me that said: ***myname*** has just uploaded 8 photos to the *** photobucket album. The post contained a direct link to our BDSM folder that contained 16 revealing photos of my bleeding & bruised ass, welts on my back, and stripes on my cock, and it was now publicly available on my Facebook timeline and also on my Twitter feed! i forgot to turn off the auto share feature on my Photobucket Droid app! Shit! i almost puked at my workstation.

i frantically deleted the post and tweet, then i downloaded the photos back on to my phone, deleted the Photobucket folder, created a new Photobucket account separate from the one i share with friends and family, re-uploaded the photos to the new account, and deleted them from my phone. OMG!

So, i have provided new links below to the photos i previously posted here.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strypi's beast

Vampire paddle

my bruised/bleeding ass

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strypi's beast

my cuffs and ring

my cuffs and ring (closeup)

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i've only been allowed 17 minutes left on the computer, so this will be real brief.

i've behaved terribly this week: i was argumentative, i pouted, i ranted--all things that are unbecoming of a submissive. Strypi set me straight last night. We talked about my behavior and She helped me to find ways to cope with my emotions.

Here's a few photos of the results of our session and my punishment:

My welted back

my striped cock and welted thighs

my red ass

full body shot of the damage

Thank you Princess Strypi for your patience and guidance!

I'm enjoying reading about this.

I love this blog! Keep trying beast! You deserve to be broken, you have earned it!

I love the pictures. I'm sorry they were sent around inadvertently to the wrong people. I have a phobia of that happening to me.

Princess and i were laying in bed and watching movies this afternoon, and She was refusing my sexual advances. In fact, She told me to stop at least a dozen times. i laid on my best charms, talked to Her in my sexiest voice and touched Her in ALL the right places. i was controlling Her pulse, Her breathing and Her mind with the stroke of a single finger, and it was amazing to know that i could still do that! i know that She was enjoying all of it, but i also knew that i was misbehaving. then i made a comment that i shouldn't have. i said, "i'm hungry. i want a donut... maybe i could fuck the donut." It was funny, but disrespectful. She responded well. She said, "Stand up, drop your pants, and bend over."

i did as i was told and she laid into me with the PEX pipe (a 2 foot piece of clear polyethylene pipe--it is quiet and VERY effective) at least forty times. i had to beg for a break several times, and then i asked "how many more?" and She said "four more". i asked if i could have them one at a time and She conceded. When She finished i thanked Her for putting me back in my place, and i told Her that i still wanted a donut-She laughed, thankfully!

She told me that i was bratting, but i had to admit that i was actually doing more than bratting. i was attempting to control Her, sexually, and that was out of line and unacceptable behavior for a submissive. i also had to admit that i would probably do it again! To that, She said she would punish me harder next time. With my head bowed to show respect, i told Her that punishment probably wouldn't stop me and She laughed.

We also discussed how i should refer to Her. i have been calling Her Princess since She was submissive to me and that hardly seems appropriate anymore. We are going to try "Mistress" for a while and see how that works out. We have to work on what i will call her publicly though. We work in the same building and see each other often during the workday so this is an important consideration.

i am now broken, and i am starting to enjoy submission more and more.

Later y'all.

Mistress says it was only 24 strikes with the pipe. i wasn't trying to exaggerate, but it sure felt like forty!

I am filled with admiration for your courage in sharing this, the good and the bad, and for your Mistress' patient determination to train you into the man you want to be. I have long believed that D/s can be a character-building experience for both parties, and you are giving a detailed case-study of it. I wish you both all of the happiness you are working so hard to win.

Mistress learned last night that being the dominant one is not as easy as some might think. Its reassuring to know that i'm not the only one having difficulties.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strypi's beast

Mistress learned last night that being the dominant one is not as easy as some might think. Its reassuring to know that i'm not the only one having difficulties.

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Hard work sometimes, isn't it, Strypi?

In the immortal words of Peter Parker, with great power comes great responsibility.

The rewards of that hard work are what makes this lifestyle far far better than 'nilla though.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VeniVidi

The rewards of that hard work are what makes this lifestyle far far better than 'nilla though.

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Absolutely.

Last night after a few beers i realized that i wasn't feeling very submissive and i asked Mistress Strypi to paddle my ass. She instructed me to pick out the implements and i chose the PEX pipe and a hairbrush paddle that i built myself from a nice piece of walnut. She tuned me up well, focusing on my bare ass cheeks just below my waistband. She hasn't ever beaten me there and it hurt real bad- bringing tears to my eyes. i had to ask for several breaks during the 15 minute session, but i am really trying to get better about being still and not hollering out during the pain. When She finished She asked me, "How do you feel?" and i responded, "submissive."

Afterwards, i asked Her if i could make love to Her, and we had passionate & sensual sex. During sex is the most difficult time for me to behave correctly. When i am ramming my cock into her ass, pussy, or face, i instinctively move her into the positions i want. i place my hands around her neck, grab handfuls of her beautiful red hair, grab her breasts forcefully, and generally and naturally dominate during sex because she enjoys it probably more than i do. However, we both know this is not appropriate behavior for me. Our after-session sex last night was different. i asked for sex instead of taking it, i caressed Her instead instead of manhandling Her, i asked her to change positions rather than placing Her how i wanted, and i asked which holes i could have instead of fucking all that i wanted. i am super proud of this major accomplishment! i think She should paddle my ass before sex every time to remind me of my submissiveness.

All of that being said, i am more eager than ever for the next full moon on March 8th. Strypi believes it will be good to "let the beast out". When the moon is full, i plan to ravage every hole She has, and take Her however i want! We agree though, that it would not be proper for me to strike Her body in any manner, but i think some bondage would be amazing.

By the way, i failed to mention that right now i have week-old bruises on the front and back of my thighs, and after last night i have fresh lumps and bruises along with older marks on my ass. i am sitting painfully at my work desk and loving every minute of it!

Yes, I expected this to be easy....NOT!

I knew of the challenges, and accepted them. It is not easy going from slave to Dom. The main challenge: dominating someone who you enthralled yourself to.

I am proud of my Beastie. Darling you are doing very well, especially with this being so early in the switch.

I love you!

Now, tickle my feet!

As a Dom, i never cared for the idea of tasking. i thought it was silly and demeaning, but last night Mistress Strypi insisted on two tasks for me. First, i had to sit at Her feet cuffed and naked, and tell Her all about my work day. i had to end each sentence with "Mistress" which was a little awkward but not difficult. For my second task, i had to get on my hands and knees and masturbate by thrusting my hips and fucking my hand. i then had to ask permission to orgasm. Initially, this was a little humiliating and humiliation is a 'hard limit' for me. But when i saw how much She was enjoying watching me i really enjoyed putting on a hot show for Her. Apparently humiliation is only a soft limit and i enjoyed pleasing Her.

Thank you Mistress for pushing my limits.

Yo! beast!

i love this blog. Fun to watch the transition!

Pushing limits! Yum! Enjoy!

Thanks to a/All for the support in this thread and in our journey!

i am sitting here naked and cuffed with my leather locking wrist bands, with my cock and balls bound--i really enjoy binding my genitals. i've been trying to express to Mistress Strypi how much i've been enjoying tasking (to my surprise) and i've been begging for more to push my limits. She has suggested eating my own semen from a plate, and i've been begging Her to urinate on me in the tub. i used Her bath water that She urinated in and She watched me urinate on myself in the same tub! It is really starting to look like a good evening is in store for me. She also proposed that i should tolerate intrusion by Her strap-on (yet to be purchased). To that i responded that i am really enjoying Her taskings and i belong to Her for Her pleasure.

She instructed me to document my feelings here in my journal right now (30 minute time limit), so here goes:

Right now, i am really beginning to wildly enjoy being submissive. i am looking forward to more pushing of my limits. What i considered to be hard limits last week are now more than negotiable. i want to know what i am capable of and what She is capable of. i want to fully give myself to Her, however She wants. i want to be submissive 24/7. She didn't paddle me last night and instead initiated tasking. She thinks that i need to heal a little first, but there is no pain in my skin and i miss that pain. i want it all, to be dominated, to feel pain, to be humiliated, and most of all to please Her, entirely. i am enjoying the attention, the pleasure, and the opportunity to please Her. Maybe i am being selfish, but i want it all.

What do y'all think? Are there health concerns with bruises on top of old bruises. She is concerned about blood clots, etc. but i heal quickly---probably a good trait for a submissive to have!!! lol