Printable View
My bf really wants to try it. but even if he sticks a finger in.. i feel like I have to shit.
and that feeling doesnt go away after a few mins.
I wont let him try his cock because a)ow. and b) i dont want to feel that "i have to shit feeling" that badly..
does the feeling subside?
Well for me, I have noticed that the feeling you're talking about does subside. I have also found that the more that I play, practice, and experiment with my butt plugs ans whatnot, the less painful it gets. If you use enough lube and go slow enough though, it should not be painful at all. It's when you try to move to fast before you're ready that it hurts. I would suggest getting a trainer set of graduated butt plugs to help with that.
I know that for me, in time I've come to absolutely LOVE anal play. It is by far my favorite now. I love to have my ass filled!
Good luck and I hope that this helped even a bit.
well first up please understand that anal is not for everyone...some women do find it uncomfortable even after lots of trying...and your BF might need to acknowledge that
mind you...some kinda play and stimulation is generally possible but maybe just not full on cock penetration
but yeah, in my experience for those not experienced the 'having a shit' sensation can be strong...not surprising really...dunno if it gets lesser later on or people just learn to ignore it...I had an ex who always found it to be very distracting we eventually just abandoned anal cos she never got any real enjoyment from it
hmmm...not knowing what kinda anal play you've tried so far...suggest some nice toys...maybe some beads and so on used along with some long, gently cunnilingus :-)
have fun though...that's always the important test
I just want to say that if you are not comfortable with it then just don't do it. He can either get over it and if he doesn't then, well maybe he's not for you then.
I personally have never tried anal, and never intend on trying it. That's an "EXIT ONLY" for me :)
Goodluck
Also...it could be kind of dangerous. I would definately take that into consideration as well.
I like it. Full-on butt fucking is painful for me, but I like the humiliation aspect of it. But what really feels good is when my man is giving me cunnilingus and he does "the shocker." He folds down his ring finger, inserts his first two fingers in my vagina, and plays with my butt with his pinky. At first he would just press at the opening, then insert a tiny bit and pull back out. It was so minor, and all the good sensations were so powerful, that there was no discomfort at all. Now he can slide his pinky in right away, and I think it feels fabulous. I haven't noticed any lasting looseness down there.
I also think (and he does, too--you should definitely let your BF try some of this backdoor action for himself, as men are even more sensitive there than women!) that anal beads are awesome! You can have as much or as little penetration as you want, and feel a lot less of the fullness that comes with something as thick as a cock or dildo.
As for safety: use lots of lube and don't do anything that hurts a lot; you could get hurt if you're not careful. But also remember that bigger things pass through your backside than a finger. Also, don't go back and forth willy-nilly between anal and vaginal penetration. The germs from your butt can give you a urinary tract infection.
Good luck!
If you give yourself a thorough enema before anal play, you can enjoy the sensations without worrying about shit coming out- that may free you up to relax and enjoy the experience. Go very slowly, start small, and work your way up. You have to be completely relaxed- even just a little tenseness will hurt really badly, but if you relax, it can be very pleasurable.
The first time you have butt sex, the "have to shit" feeling will be noticeable, but if you are relaxed and he is gentle, the sensations become good, rather than bad.
-Phantome
Hi Kitten,Quote:
Originally Posted by kitten529
Yes, the feeling subsides.
Great advice given above.
Success is based on your comfort and that's more than being clean. Positioning is also very important.
I've posted this elsewhere, but think it's worth a repost:
Regarding anal play, I recommend starting slowly, get clean with a nice enema, have him use lube on a finger, and gently "finger f*ck" your anus.
How does that feel?
Do you want him to continue?
If you are practicing on yourself, squat, lube your finger,
put your hand behind your back, reach between your legs and go for it.
When you first do this, it may feel like you need to have a bowel movement as your lower body is trying to push the foreign object out of the way. This can cause you to tighten up and make it painful. Take your time, breath deeply and focus on relaxing.
If you are using toys, start small, but make sure there is something on the end to keep that toy from dissappearing inside of you. Use something flexible that can bend with you, like manflesh would, not some hard plastic toy.
Here is a link to 10 rules of anal sex:
http://www.sexuality.org/authors/morin/analrule.html
Oh! and this site also has a list of recommended positions for Anal. Jackpot!
http://www.sexuality.org/l/incoming/aanal.html
If something ends up working for you that you like,
let us know.
Have fun!
Ruby
Although I am a huge fan of anal sex, I have found the idea of sticking fingers and toys up my ass solo to be somehow gross. Perhaps it has something to do with the idea of "exit-only" that somebody mentioned above, I don't know. If you feel that way too, I advise experimenting in the shower. Everything becomes insta-clean, and it's a warm and relaxing atmosphere.
Of course, water-based lubes don't work in the shower. Experience says vaseline, baby oil, or lotion work fine, but anybody feel free to correct me if there's some caveat for these products I don't know about.
I was very wary of approaching the field of anal sex with my master. He was very enthusiastic while I was hesitant. He is a very well endowed man and he wanted to do it raw. After two months I finally considered it. I asked him to start slowly and he agreed but noted that he would not use any lubricant. He inserted one finger into my anus and it hurt like hell. I would have jumped and left but we decided to be kinky before and now I was handcuffed to a radiator. After sticking two fingers into me I started pleading with him to stop but he said I would get used to it and I did. Two fingers after a while didn't bother me. I wasn't prepared for his cock though. It felt like I was being split in half and I cried the entire time. Several times later I became used to it. It is like having ordinary sex. At first it hurts but then it becomes quite sensual.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Misato36
The way your master introduced you to anal sex was not fair to you. Anal is not a no lube zone. You need to use lube in order to not tear. It should have been something that was introduced to you gently and carefully so that you could relax and enjoy it. I am sorry that was your first experience.
:eek: would never go there - pain is one thing, damage is another.Quote:
Originally Posted by Misato36
cariad
No lube for anal sex is insane. I wouldn't even consider it. Misato36 - your post rather concerns me.
Rule #1 about anal, especially for newcomers - There is absolutely no such thing as "too much lube". Get messy. Get it everywhere. But get a lot of it.
Rule #2 - Proceed slowly. He's not going to get his cock in there the first time. Or at the very least if he tries it's not going to be comfortable at all. And actually fucking your ass, it takes time to build to that. there's a reason "anal training" often starts with a very small plug, then a less small plug etc.
Rule #3 - Being relaxed is important. Tensing up causes everything back there to get tight. Often too tight. The more relaxed you are the better.
Patience is a virtue in this department from what I know.
Almost a year ago, when I first joined the forum, there were the same questions then as there are now regarding anal sex.
One thing that I suggested then and still applies to those who are want to try it, or have had uncomfortable experiences in the past and want to try it again, etc., is to stretch your rectal muscles with a plug. I'm sure it's been suggested on several threads on this forum.
However, should anyone decide to go this route, this post is worth repeating again, bear in mind it was written with tongue in cheek. :rolleyes:
Be Careful What You Stick in Your Arse
Can I put my two bits in? I will anyway, it might save someone's asshole.
1. Don't use anything around your house that can get stuck or lost up your shit pipe
2. Don't use anything you bought from Home Depot
3. Do spend the money to get a small, wide bottom buttplug. For cleanliness purposes, put a condom on it, use real lube, not margerine or baby oil, and work up from there
4. This is not the time to be thrifty. You can't replace an asshole, it's the only one you got...
5. You can surf the net for butt plug pictures. They are easy to find. You will be able to revel in the before and after pics.
One final word of advice, if it hurts really bad, stop.
For more information, these links might help:
Tristan Taormino's Website Puckerup.com
Anal Sex Yes
Thanks for the info,
we tried full anal sex the last night, and although it hurt at first, we took things very slow, used loads of lube and our key thing, we communicated, i told Him when it became uncomfortable, and we slowed things down. After a while it started to feel good, especially when He started playing with my clit. Personally i think most of the discomfort is a mental thing, once you get over that, it shouldn't hurt that much.
I agree with what everyone has said. I started playing by myself to get used to the feeling before I had anal with my SO. The feeling does subside and it can be awesome. =) Infact, the next toy I want to add to my slowly growing collection is a plug. =)
As far as anal went, i always thought to myself, 'hell no!!!'. When i met my Mistress, she slowly changed my mind and told me if at anytime it felt painful or uncomfortable She would stop.
Last Thursday was the first time we met. (still giddy from the experience lol), She used plenty of lube and made it a very enjoyable and highly erotic experience. i never thought in a million years that i would be one who would enjoy anal sex but i did. Granted it wasn't a penis that was going in there, She used Her fingers which are smaller but whatever goes in there should be clean and lubed up.
Can't wait to hear more, frankee....:D Good to have you back! *hugs*
I was wondering where Frankee went to, now I know it was somewhere good! ;)
Thanks Silke & Timberwolf.
Just got back on the weekend from meeting with my Mistress *huge smile*, unfortunately my laptop has died and i am using a friend's while she is away on holidays. i'll be posting here and there until i get the blasted thing fixed.
Big hugs!!
It's always nice to discover new things about yourself
and even more so when you do so with someone special
to you.
Often times sharing with that special person is enough
to help one overcome your fears and inhibitions about
various things.
Anal was something I never really pushed for in any
Dom/sub relationships or even in those that weren't.
When I began to explore this area with those who
asked to experience it I quickly found it to be
something I enjoyed sharing.
Back in the day I never imagined myself as someone
who would want to finger, fuck or even lick a lady anally but
I quickly found the error or my ways. :icon176:
I guess now I'm making up for lost time and
I won't hesitate to give a hell of a tongue lashing
and anything else that's pleasurable for her in
that anatomical region.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MajesticFae
Personally, I don't like using plugs. They stretch you out and I prefer tight... :rolleyes:
Now why does that turn me on? *shakes head* ;)Quote:
Personally, I don't like using plugs. They stretch you out and I prefer tight...
I never said I wanted a big one. =) Just something little to play with occasionally.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silke
*smiles knowingly*
Shall we discuss alternatives?Quote:
Originally Posted by MajesticFae
I suppose. =)Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
*fans air while think of the great Oz claiming her plug deprived ass* Hell, you have a way of invading my fantasies, Oz. Gotta love that knowing smile...;)
Scores of divorced women will disagree with this point...Quote:
Originally Posted by nikita
(LOL... sorry, couldn't resist that one!):)
Haha!! :D
I had bad experiences having anal sex or play and was very hesitant to the idea of trying it again. My Sir talked with me about my prior experiences and explained why it had been so unenjoyable for me. My prior experiences were uncaring and were not taken slow. He had me start slow and make sure to use lots of lubricant. I started out with just my finger tips and that was enjoyable so we continued to work up. He told me to take it slow and if it was uncomfortable or hurt to stop and see if I relaxed and was able to continue. I enjoy it now and never thought I would. I am so lucky my Sir is patient, kind and understanding and we have a great communication.
You're forgiven, poor phrasing on my part. MuahahahahahaQuote:
Originally Posted by csr