How do you test your new sub, have you a special ritual you go through with your new sub to let her know she is now under your control.
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How do you test your new sub, have you a special ritual you go through with your new sub to let her know she is now under your control.
I have a few various on a main theme of inspecting a new slave, the new sub stands in front of me naked legs apart, while I walk around her inspecting her body probing , pinching, slapping, touching her making sure that she is good enough or worthy enough to be my slave.
This can be changed for the subs experience or likes, dislike, the sub can undress in front of you first, you could tear or cut the cloths of the sub first you can have your sub restrained or free during the inspection, this can be done inside or outside and you can blindfold the sub
This sounded like a good thread.. wonder why no one took up on it... I would love to read responses from other Dom/mes.
PErhaps because most Dom/mes do not have a test. I feel a sub out through a process similar to a courtship. We talk about various aspects of our life and limits in BDSM. If it is going to work, it has to come from her, and anything I do is superflous.
It is about the same for me...Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhabbi
I put a new sub/slave through a series of small tests to figure out where they are in the life. A new lady that has desplayed some signs of submissiveness will find that during our first night of sex that I will take her wrists in one hand and press them high over her head pinning her to the bed. If she thrills to that then I am on my way.
Russell
I feel that just dealing with me is test enough, if she pleases me she passes.
Once the relationship is under way, there are enough "tests" along the way.
Just pay attention to how she reacts to situations, if she reacts to a certain situation that pleases you, be sure to let her know with a nice reward. If she reacts in a way that disappoints, let her know what disappointed, and punish accordingly if she's a repeat offender, if it's not a repeat offense use positive reenforcement. Just remember, subbies really really want to please, and sometimes just the knowledge you have been disappointed is punishment enough.
I guess I may have gotten off topic, my apologies.
As you may have guessed, I'm not really into ritual, although maye enjoys some symbolism, so I use that as a reward.
I'm rambling aren't I.
Must be the time change...
A stripdown and close inspection is usually first, consisting of feeling, and squeezing all parts of the body. Fingers are inserted into all holes and then after that, I like to blindfold them and raise the excitement level even higher. Will she recieve pleasure or pain first? Well that depends :)
I have very limited experience having had only a few subs and aiming to keep the current one forever.
For me the "test" was always more psychological than physical. I would simply bring in the subject of my taste for domination and then see if she would willingly submit. The irony about being a dominant is that it will only work as long as the submissive wants it to. So who has the real power in the end?
If after a first experience she is already willing to wear some kind of restraint and is willing to go further sexually than we already did without involving domination then I consider that she is a sub. When that did'nt work the relationship usually stayed without any bdsm and/or ended soon after.
As a slave...every single day is a test
oh i couldn't have put it any better than that! :11:Quote:
Originally Posted by ceegee{Benz}
The _very_ first thing, the thing that determines if she is sub material, is holding her wrists together over her head as I kiss her. If she kisses back, more ardently than any kiss you've shared before, you've struck gold.
Mmm that gave me tingles Will :)
however some of the other posts scare the shit outta me!
Agrees with wings on the tingles... YUMM!
Mmm, I feel the tingles as well..... Another thing my Dom did that caught me off guard -- wrapping his thumb/forefinger around the front of my throat as we were kissing - no squeezing, just enough pressure for me to feel it -- he definitley got a more passionate/excited response from me.
Easy..........On your knees slut
Think the first test I remember best... and I didn't realize that was what it was at the time because I knew nothing about D/s and was WAY before I got married...
Being pushed hard against the wall, feeling the rough surface scratch my cheek, breasts and other parts as he leaned in and growled "so you like it rough do you?" The shock and shame at that entire thought and yet the excitement was unreal!
I didn't even get the bite... but what I did get was... *sighs and goes off to dream*
Totally got to go with d on this one *sits impatiently waiting for the rest* :)Quote:
Originally Posted by delia
lol... sorry ladies... not kissing (or other things in this case) and telling :D
What youth misses out on though due to fear...
*whispers* Have T make her tell, d....Quote:
Originally Posted by delia
LMFAO... well damn.... Plan B then... which is... umm... fuck.... *sits and begins plotting Plan B*Quote:
Originally Posted by delia
*grinz all sweet and such... enjoying the memories... *
No fair teasing annie!! *pulls out cane* That's just not nice ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by just_annie
hmmmmmmmm what to share... if anything....
His name was Scott... and he was a car sales man... yep, that's it, end of story!
LMAO, Evil annie, truely evil *grins* I like it. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by just_annie
:D Thank you!
Lol, need help d? I'm not too far, I'll meet you there! heheQuote:
Originally Posted by delia
Like THAT will make me babble??? *rme at the silly ladies*
Lol, laying down a challenge are we annie? *grins*Quote:
Originally Posted by just_annie
ahhhhh reasonable d putting it back on track... lol
And yes I would agree. I can tell when it is "right." Although I will test the limits and such in my own way just to see...
This may upset quite a few, but I believe that most women hell the vast majority of women are submissive, and since they have been trained to be the same as a male they are unhappy in their life. I have had mostly successful intelligent sub/slaves. It isn't that are they submissive but are they willing and capable to let go and find their happiness and true self.
Conversely I don't know if most males are dominate, I fear that our current culture has trained them to be submissive in a very different way. Males today are trained to say and do anything to get laid. They marry and then find themselves doing things to please her so that she will suck on his cock for a minute or actually spread her legs once a week. oh well I don't work that way and hopefully never will.
Before the internet, open meetings of lifestylers I had to study each woman carefully to see if I could find the traits I wanted. This study lead to the verbal and physical tests to find out not if she was a sub but if she could let go and be true to herself.
I agree wholeheartedly with you Sir Russell.
I was unhappy for quite some time, until I started to dwelve into why.
It did take some time but I am in a place now where I know that I am ready to give myself over completely to another and be able to experience that peace of mind, I am constantly striving for.
I think that the vast majority of people are conditioned to think and act a particular way.
They become complacent and never really strive to look further into themselves, never acknowledging or being able experience another side they really didn't know they had.
well said delia, funny how many woman when they find out what I am tell me how wrong I am then later begin to ask question and some end up on their knees if not to me then to another more suited to them.
I can think of no better test than on your knees slut first it shows her willingness to obey second you get to test her skills at throat fucking
stone I think there is a lot of steps before that one if you want a sub/slave of quality
I agree. Sir Russell
and about the earlier conversation about women and taboos and such:
I have known since I was like... 7 that I was a submissive girl.
I loved watching "beauty and beast" it turned me on... how submissive belle had to be to beast.
even as a child I understood it.
My family believed in the theory or idea of the man working and running the house while the wife cooks and cleans and all that jazz. It was a very loving family and I love growing up in that sort of lifestyle.
I have always know that I wanted to be the 1950's kind of wife... so the kinky sex part is an added bonus..
While I am not perfect by any means and I am not the wife I want to be.. YET.. I am working towards it and show my submission in the little things..
and my gosh little by little hubby is catching on and he so very much is enjoying it both in and out of the bedroom. YES!
Mamy years ago (I think we'd seen "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" in the theater, if that tells you how long : ), I had a date with a fellow who was already somewhat of a friend. When he kissed me goodnight, he grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, and shared a truly amazing good night kiss. Things didn't work out with that particular fellow, but I have had that kiss in my fantasies for years. After a very vanilla, but reasonably happy marriage, (until the last few years of it) I decided that I wanted to try to explore what I call a submissive streak that I recognized in myself. So, I find myself in the dating field again as a widow with a teenage daughter - so it's not easy. I went out a couple of times with another fellow a while back, who was more of a Dom, and after telling him about the hair thing, he said he thought that reaction was to him a sign of a true sub. We parted friends, but it didn't work out, since he was looking for someone 24/7 and I wasn't even considering that at the time.
I've recently met someone on line who has taken more time to explain all of this to me, and actually was the one who told me about this site. I am now trying to find out just how submissive I might be. Thank you, Sir Russell, for your time and paitence with this newbie - you have opened my eyes up to something I hadn't even really considered before, as you know. I will be interested in where it leads.
And my family dynamic was almost opposite. My father left when I was 2, had very little future contact with him. My mom was a single parent doing the best she could to raise my brother and I in a VERY small town and yet in many ways she was still a "Leave it to Beaver" type of mom, always involved, etc. My grandparents lived close (normally across the street... lol) but my grandmother was ALWAYS the one forced into may decisions because my grandfather didn't want too, etc. (Yep, I married my grandfather in some ways... lol.)Quote:
Originally Posted by wingsofanangel
But, the one thing, even as strong and independent both of them said continually was "It would be nice to have someone to take care of me and make the decisions."
Then I saw it as... "you have to be a strong independent woman to survive because the opposite sex (or anyone) can't really be counted on to do it for you." Looking back now though I see that they both were caught, in the same circumstances that my "independent woman" thinking has lead me to be caught in. They both wanted to submit in many ways and yet, based on circumstances and life choices, couldn't.
So, understanding that, I know have to decide which is the best option (or combination of the two) that is right for me. And, in talking to them about it (although somewhat indirectly) neither of them understand why I would "let" someone have that much control while at the same time both agree that it would free me greatly to have someone capable (trusting?) to give that too.
ACK... just realized how off topic I wondered...sorry!
Thinks on the first time with annie and what probably happened ... damn yummy.
nothing like being forceful with a woman.. grabbing her hair and slight jerk...
Watch her face and eyes.. if she is giving.. then oh damn will she be Taken..
er... getting back on track.. i think many women are submissive like Sir Russell said. I think it's a natural state for most.
And a good submissive is such more of a joy to be around for me... I don't have to give orders as if they have a slave heart they will seek to please me and get their pleasure from that. That is why I like the way i do things.