how do i get over the fear in wearing a hood as i wish to please Master but wearing a hood puts fear into my blood and i start breathing very heavy
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how do i get over the fear in wearing a hood as i wish to please Master but wearing a hood puts fear into my blood and i start breathing very heavy
Have you tried working up from holding the hands over the eyes, to wearing a blind fold, to wearing a cowel and gradually increasing things until your hooded?
FYI: BDSM saftey tip....please never leave a hooded, gaged or otherwise bound individual unattended, it can be very dangerous.
Quote:
Originally Posted by singletaillover
Speaking as one who has claustrophobia and who also reacts this way, I can only say that I could not, in spite of many attempts, learn it. I hated it, but I nevertheless had to accept that this was one thing I simply was unable to do.
In such circumstances a sensible M will acknowledge that there are limits in every person, and be happy with all the things you can do, and find more. And so it was.
the only way you will get over the fear is to wear it....that said there are any number of things you can use to work your way up to the hood. Have you broken it down to find out what about it causes the fear? the eyes? the ears? the nose? the mouth? after you do then you can work your way up to the hood by covering the ones that don't. one at a time, adding another each attempt. then start with a very short period of time and build up each next attempt. don't be over ambitious...think seconds not minutes... but ultimately it is up to your mind to over come your fear.... play safe Be well
Judging by your past posts, it appears that your partner has little to no consideration for your feelings. I would suggest addressing that rather than the hood.
@PPR my Master/husband has got a lot of consideration for my feelings thank you very much. As this was my suggestion to Master that i wanted to get over this fear that i have and not Masters decision. We are going slow with this as every day i have to wear the hood for half a hour and then the next week to have the hood tied up everyday but for only 15 minutes as that is when i get scared when its tied up. It makes me feel that its suffocating me in which i know that its not. I trust my Master/husband with my life its just that it brings back bad memories from the past but i wont go into details about that.
For me it is the opposite - I love wearing a hood and it actually puts me in a submissive mood... however, I can understand the claustrophobia. Try a domino mask first, then work up to full face and include occasional blindfolds etc. Make sure you also work on trust - use a safeword (even if you don't normally) which means 'take the hood off now'. That way you know it can be removed at any point and this helps build trust and safety.
My Master and I discussed hoods and vacuum beds today. Him and I both pointed out the same struggles mentioned above. Personally, I don't think I could restrict any air passages. We do breath play but only with his hand around my throat. I feel that his hand can be removed quicker and safer than any other thing.
I do think that if wearing a hood is a consensual and mutual desire, then the effort put forth is well worth it. It sounds to me like you are taking the small steps already to gradually work up to wearing it for long periods of time. I hope it adds to the erotic side of your play scenes and pleases your Master.
Happy hooding ;)
There seems to be an assumption that hoods=breath play when really they don't. They aren't even really blondfolds necessarily, unless you want them to be. The point of a hood is to dehumanise a sub - remove the face and the sub becomes something less human and therefore more open to abuse. Things like blindfolds, gags and breath play add to that but are by no means essential. My leather hood has open eye holes and an open mouth hole (which cannot be blocked easily). You can add a blindfold to it easily enough, you can also add a gag (including a gag with a tube that can be blocked for breath play) but the main reason I wear it is because it triggers off the submissive feelings in me (and presumably triggers dominant feelings in a Mistress...)
Sensory dep play is also an element of play possible with hoods - ear plugs, blindfold etc and the hood itself adds an extra layer of darkness to the situation as well as removing the sense of touch from the face. Can be scary but that is what the trust is for...
I guess I never thought about it that way. When people mention a hood, I instantly think about air restriction. Plus the other obvious of not being able to see.Quote:
Originally Posted by fetishdj
I'm really glad you posted this. It definitely made me look at all of it differently. And I suppose it just became an option in play. Seeing your pic of you in a hood kind of proves your point about dehumanising (sp? Or even a word) a sub. Being faceless does add to the scene now that I see it as something more than just breath play. I will admit that you appear to be a pet/sex object/slave without adding the personal side of facial expressions.
Thanks again for the new outlook :)
I can only say that it not "up to your mind to overcome your fear". Phobias are not that easily overcome.Quote:
Originally Posted by singletaillover
I do not understand why you want to do this thing when it is cleary a problem, but that is your choice. I just want to say that if it does not work, I hope you will not blame anyone - not your Master and certainly not yourself. There will always be things we can do and things we cannot do - no one can do it all and no one is less a sub for that.
@Scarlet85: Thank you for your reponse. Yep, I mostly wear a hood for the anonymous effect in photography (I model but prefer not to have my face shown...) and I rarely if ever have it with breath restriction or blindfolds. Only really once had that and it was a latex hood which was designed for the purpose (it inflated to restrict air with only a single breathing tube available which could be blocked...). I have to say it was terrifying and I am not usually put off by that sort of thing... My hood is actually modified with a larger mouth hole to allow the gag I own to fit in there so the risk of breath restriction is only present if you actively put in something to do that like a gag with a mouth tube.
I find this fear of hoods fascinating - interesting how, under the influence of different drugs/medication, it is advised not to put anything over the head... I wonder if there could be a psychological connection between a documented medical risk and a plain fear.
As for advice, I'm far from the best person to be on the giving end rather than the receiving end, however I'd agree with what Denuseri said - start small with a blindfold. Maybe even one that could can see a little through so your vision isn't entirely blacked out. Also, in response to losing the control of your breathing - perhaps have a fan running in the room. More of a psychological aid rather than a physical one - even if you ignore it, your brain should be subconsciously aware that there IS fresh air flowing around you. It might work, it might not - never know until you try. I've found in life that it's the little things that count.
Best of luck!
Hm.... did I miss something? Perhaps you could elaborate on why drugs/medication got brought up. Lol its quite possible that I missed a reference to it above and my apologies if I did. :PQuote:
Originally Posted by ashclark