Rules? Rules? Rules? Where to find them? How to ask?

Rules?
There is a huge difference between virtual and reality when trying to maintain conversation in settings of getting to know another, not that it needs to be pointed out? But in reality? There is many things that can clue one in to whether you are connecting, irritating, frustrating, welcoming, unwelcoming, boring, enjoying... ... and the list goes on. there are clues that one can take when getting to know another that tells us when to keep going, back off, change subject... ... but here you simply have words and *ques* there is no facial expression, sigh, shift of position, wandering of eyes, sound of tone. Just words and *ques*
I understand the concepts of common sense, insecurities, and the values 'Of Just being me' but at the same time? insecurities are still a bitch, they still rise up and me? being an over thinking million miles per hour kind of girl, i maybe sometimes do better when things have more order, restrictions, or guidelines? And as i am sitting in front of a computer and writing my thoughts, which are many, without the advantage of visual and hearing to help guide me? I can come off as being a little 'intense, pushy, clingy' ... ... Overthinking is insecurity's bitchy big sister. *wink*
So knowing how i am? I will ask, 'What are the rules' and when your answer is 'There are none' my brain instantly screeches to a sudden 100 to 0 halt and i think, 'but there are always rules?' then as if opening the door to your pet birds cage? my brain kicks on and takes off in flight because 'There are no rules'
I, knowing exactly what happens when that little birdie takes flight, will then start to worry about how i am perceived so i will then ask, 'While playing this game, what are your 'personal' rules in pertaining to IM, wording, and questioning.' and when your answer to me is again, 'There are no rules,' then fallow that with, 'IM when ever you want, continue to be open and honest, ask me anything you wish.' my reactions to this is, 'stretching halt, little birdie hops to door, takes flight, flies out the window and screams 'I am free, I am free' all the while soaring through the information highway that is my universal thoughts...
Sounds good ya? Well while i am soaring here is what happens... think of waking up to a blow up of 30 plus IM just waiting to be read, and that unfortunately is a small number as you did add in there that i was in fact free to ask questions, half of them are short and sweet, while the other half are miniature little novellas.
The problem being, aside from insecurities, is that i think a lot. A. LOT. and while i am thinking i am trying to 'be real, be me, be honest, be open,' all good things right? and even if my wording implies differently? i am in fact taking this very seriously.
So in that newfound freedom of no rules this is what happens:

I want to make you smile: here is a happy thought
I want to be clear: here is what i failed to say when your words caused a brain fart and scrambled my thought process
I am afraid: here is what made me that way
I am confused or curious: here is my questions.
I want you to know i am thinking of you: good morning, good night, have a nice day

without limits or restrictions i tell you all of these things within a matter of hours whether you are there to answer or not because 'there are no rules' the same applies to PM, send me a PM and tell me that your advice is free should i need it? I will absolutely one hundred percent 'Guarantee' that i will be taking you up on that offer, at least once.

Thanks for the advice everyone *Wink*

It's really not that i expect to be Dommed/Topped/Mastered from the word Hello, it's just with guidelines it tames my nuttiness a little and prevents more intense freedom type reactions, like the IM blow up, not everyone wants to have to read a novel every time they log on to begin a conversation right?
So here are my questions:

(1) Is it considered bad manners to ask what the rules are?
(2) Is it too pushy to ask again with more precise wording?
(3) Am i asking the wrong question as in 'What are the rules' even after trying to explain why i am asking?
(4) Does asking what the rules are come off as trying to take charge of the conversation?
(5) Is it wrong to feel the need to push for those answers?