A question or two...

Hi there, this is my first forum post, and i'm a bit nervous right now.
So i'm thinking that might come through in what i write.
English is not my primary language, so forgive my sometimes poor wording. Neither can i brag of an especially high degree of education, but i do make an effort.

wheew.. here goes, i have a little problem and i mean little in comparison to the suffering and hardship of the world.

I find it extremely hard to describe, some might even find this amusing , but please believe that i am indeed serious.

I do not in any way feel ready for a relationship, nor am i inclined to practice casual sex.Not that i am any sort of prude. I tried it casual a few times in my teen years, and while i enjoy cock as much as the next straight/bi female, i would rather have it thrust hard down my throat or at least give me some dirty talk or hair pulling...and well i think i need to know the person better for these thing to "work"..hehe:nevreness:

I just feel like it's not fair to burden a partner with my issues ,
and by partner... i mean if lucky, future master.
It is not that i think submission a gift or precious, no disrespect if you do. I am not even sure i see it as submitting, i would ultimately just be getting what i wan't.

Can anyone please explain how to deal with these feelings?........
or if you have experience with a Dom accepting no sex and no attachment ....and me wanting to talk in person for a while before any "play"...and even then i will not be bound in any way... see my problem ...?
No it is not sub frenzy , i have craved control, sexual pain since i first found that i could orgasm from pain alone. Of course the more i freaking learned from reading the broader my tastes became.
The problem is it's just not enough doing it to my self anymore, and the type of control i wish for can not be applied by me.

I have only tried a vanilla relationship and although i cared and still care deeply for him ..it's not enough.
That is not why we are no longer together but it would have been a more pleasurable time for me if we had been more compatible. I have been single for a long period of time,as in more than a year by choice.
Yes , i do see how cliché that last bit is.
I can only assure you that i am real, and no i have not just ended that relationship and misguidedly think bdsm is the answer....and if i was interested in trolling for sex there are easier ways.
I do not have a profile picture because believe it or not i am very shy..

Please give constructive advice.
Although there are other things in life , my goal in life as simple as it may be,is to serve a master.. and anything i do is aimed ultimately at achieving that goal. Not because its called bdsm or M/s or 24/7 but because it is who i am.
mims

hi mims,

not sure if im the best to be giving you advice, as i am pretty sure im in the same position as you (broke up with my partner a few months ago, i like it rough/virtually a slave to him) however i have gone through a few guys and much prefer it to be someone i have known for a while, that i trust and can depend on....

if your in it to be just getting a master/mistress and getting sex no strings... there still needs to be a level of trust, tlike that the guy/girl knows your limits, and will stop if you need to stop. a few of my friends have used clubbing or those "find and fuck" websites and apps to meet someone that is into the same sort of stuff, getting to know them, and letting them know what there intentions are/what they want from a fuck-buddy.

Hi N1X,

uhhm.. i think maybe you should read my post again, carefully and think about your response to it.
Although i use the term "slave" sometimes, i do not seek being property. I just have not found a term more fitting than M/s, so to make my self understandable that is what i use.
If i were in a relationship with a "master" we would be "serving" each other i think.

Now of course you could just be making fun of me, having a few laughs, and that is fine.

I would also have to say that i do not find your post funny...well maybe at bit.
mims

You are not ready for a relationship. You do not want casual. You still feel the need to be controlled and have a master who takes it really slow. You want to be handled physically in a harsh sexual way, but also want to have no sex and no strings. You do crave the control and also the sex as long as it works for you.

Now typing all this, I see that your feelings are sometimes contradictory and therefore confusing.

Constructive advice: find out what it is you want and then go get it. If it is slow and harsh, go get that. If it is a master who serves you at least as much as you serve him, go get that. Finding someone who fits with all your requirements and fantasies is not easy. On the contrary.

There is a saying, I think a Chinese proverb: I went to find a friend and could not find one anywhere. I went to be a friend and suddenly friends were everywhere. If you apply this to your situation, be the girl/woman/submissive that you think this master you hope to find would be interested in.