I'm new to these forums, so if this thread is posted in the wrong place please move it, if it isn't appropriate then please delete it, and if either are true my apologies in advance

I know that decisions for my life are best made by myself, but I am interested in knowing if others who understand BDSM and their need for it in their lives, would agree on the decision I made that changed my life.

In essence I ended my six year marriage due to a growing frustration growing in myself, and the unfair effects it was having on my partner. I was born and raised in Scotland and though I love the country to bits, its not exactly filled with people. This for me held me back in a lot of ways from developing when I grew up, as I wasn't truly able to find anyone to explore, experiment and grow with in my blooming needs for aspects of BDSM and fetish lifestyle.

My only real contact with others came from the early arrival of the internet and the occasional chance meeting of like minded people on forums and chat rooms. It helped me feel less, hmmm different I guess when I saw others who weren't that unlike myself. Still though, having no real outlet for growing needs inside myself, was starting to cause a lot of frustration and confusion.

Like all young men i dated my fair share growing up, but i found something missing in relationships. I tried to approach the subject of my likes quite a few times with partners but to be honest it caused issues that helped kill the relationship.

I guess what i am trying to say is, that by the time i met the woman I married, I was inexperienced in actually knowing what I wanted and was frustrated. Then she came into my life and for the first time I met someone who didn't seem to mind the things I asked for, least initially. Looking back on it now, i see i got lost in that initial release and didn't look as deep into the matter as i should have.

Due to various factors, like her being American and only in the UK on work for a limited period, I took a chance in life and moved with her back to the US where we married. I'd only know her for maybe 9 to 10 months, but I wanted to take that chance and hoped it would work out.

Heh I realized not to long into things a lesson I wont forget now my entire life. Being with someone who doesn't mind letting you do the things you like, is not much better than being with someone who wont do them. When I realized that I was the only one that was truly wanting these things, and that my wife would have been just as happy with just vanilla things, I basically pulled back from her. Needless to say the eventual toll that took lead to the end of the marriage. I felt it wasn't fair on her, wasn't fair on me, and it was best to split.

In most other ways the relationship worked great, and neither of us had complaints. So it truly comes down to my needs for why it didn't work out. Feels weird to realize that Least to me.

So, I'm headed back home to Scotland this very next week and I feel worried about being back in such an isolated place. I guess the reason I stopped lurking here and erm, came out so to speak

I haven't been able to tell anyone the reason for the end of the marriage, no one would understand. I guess I hope for acceptance here with people who can understand where I come from

Sorry to have rambled on so much. I'm still pretty green when it comes to writing on these types of forums and fitting in.

Mara.