Quote Originally Posted by meh View Post
is that a good or bad thing? please explain a little more about what you mean, i am afraid i do not quite understand it.
What I mean is, for me, is let's say there's a scale of 1 to 10 of how imposing or scary or whatever word you like, someone is. If they just start off at a ten, with commands or a raised voice or whatever, there's no place else to go, in reality or in my own imagination. I pretty much know the "worst" upfront.

But if someone starts off at a four, for example, then I have to imagine what his ten would be - and probably my imagination is worse than the reality. So when someone starts off the way you describe, say using requests instead of commands, etc. then in a way it's more imposing for me because I can only imagine what it would be like if he raised his voice.

And then I like the dissonance between being spoken to politely and whatever abuse might be occurring, and I like that feeling that even though it sounds like a request, really it's a command. And you get to wonder what would happen if you didn't obey. I just find all of that subtler, and more satisfying, than raised voices and sharp orders. And then if a voice does get raised, or a command issued, it's much more meaningful.

This is just my point of view, and it's still probably somewhat incoherent.