gulp, okay...dare I again? A lot of gerunds? Perhaps vary a couple?
wondrous was used twice in two consecutive verses.
I agree with EB on showing even if just one word...change perhaps sensed to give a word that whispers this sensation?
I will have to read more...just suggestions TDS
heh I belonged to a couple poetry sites a few years ago and trying to help some ended in many hurt feelings and a lot of dispute, so I do hesitate, but yet know you are going to edit this and appreciate only suggestions to take and leave at your discretion
...but to say TDS, this is absolutely breathtaking and makes one sigh and feel every word. You do paint beautifully with your mind and passion seeps from every breath you take and expell. Again you show Mastery with rythme and words, and focus, wit sharp and honed.