Quote Originally Posted by SirW
I will be honest and tell you it is not easy, and sometimes seems to be just so high a cost, it would be easier to just deny your submissive being and let the other things (work, family, etc..) dominate you. Some women in your circumstances (trying to assert their submissive self) do deny themselves, feeling it is best to put the needs of others before their own. In a quirky sort of way some women feel this is kind of submissive, but when you really look at it, it is more a martyr complex than a submissive. Unfortunately, a submissive woman will come to regret this in the future, and will resent those things that they feel have been responsible for causing them to deny their core being. [/B]
SirW
I'm a submissive woman married to, and have children with, a vanilla man. Yes, it's hard, I won't deny that. Fortunately for me, my hubby, while he may not understand why I have submissive urges, is willing to indulge them to a point.
I had a bad experience some years back with a Dominant who was really just an abusive son of a *. It left me in the hospital almost dead from a brush with anaphylactic shock. I avoided 'the life' after that, buried all of my urges deep down inside, and found my husband. He is my soulmate, in all senses except for my desire for extreme sexual sensations. Which he has little interest in giving. I love him, and we now have two beautiful boys together, and divorce is not an option. Not because of religious or moral convictions, but because I can't imagine my life without him.
Lately we have been discussing the possibility of my finding a female dominant to submit to; hubby is unwilling to share me with a male dominant, but I'm bi, so a female dominant will work for me. We're still only talking about it; but I understand, with his level of posessiveness, that he truly loves me enough to let me find fulfilment under my terms. That is what shows me how much he loves me, more than anything else.
Find someone you can't imagine life without; if he is into 'the life' as you are, go for it. If he isn't, hopefully he will love you enough to discuss other options with you.
It's not the best answer, by any means, but I hope it helps. There are some who will condemn me for burying my submissive soul deep inside myself; but I made my choices, and I don't regret a single one of them. I can't. I wake up every morning beside my husband and I thank the Goddess for what She has given me.