Thank u for being the first to reply, cheksng19. I've read some of your other posts and found them enlightening.

Quote Originally Posted by chksng19
The most important thing to start with is to be sure your play will be Safe, Sane, & Consentual (SSC for short). There are plenty of masters, but some won't allow SSC, they demand Total Power Exchange (TPE) and think whatever they want to do is all right.

As a suggestion, you will first want to establish "hard" limits. Then establish "soft" limits.

To establish that, you likely would want to use a checklist which was originally put together by some college (University of Washington, USA, I think). The list is NOT all inclusive, but has a general term for just about anything. You'll find it at http://www.bdsmcircle.net/dslifestyle/checklist.htm.

Another great resource is the "S & M Dictionary", posted at http://www.sandm.com/p/103.html
thanks for the sites and the suggestions. We've already more or less established some hard limits and some soft limits, but he's so damned iffy on everything and a really big fan of humiliation play. Like the other day, I told him I was NOT into something in a pm and he used it as a way to punish me in the main room. Someone asked me if i was ok w/ all that. I told them not really, but i didn't hve much choice in the matter and they called me a "good subbie." Is that an infringement of the whole hard limits and soft limits thing? He seems very much into SCC, but sometimes he contradicts himself. And is it ok to use humiliation this early in the game. I read in another thread about the difference between humiliation and degredation, and what terms or details should be related to each. I'm not comfortable w/ humiliation play, so should I tell him not to, even though he likes it so much?
Eep! Still a little confused, but getting there slowly...