Submissives Taking the Initiative

[erotic_nibbles]

My Master and I live together, but do not engage in BDSM 24/7. We often cannot even email everyday from work. There are times He will tell me in the morning, or night before, what He wants me to be wearing when He gets home. I know that means we will scene. But there have been times I "dress for the occasion" without being told - wanting to surprise and please him. Sometimes we scene - and sometimes we don't. But He always appreciates me trying. If He's not up for it, then I just stay dressed because He likes the way I look and we just cuddle in front of the TV after dinner. It's still fun and exciting.

I love that answer Garnet .....what a great way to handle things

Sometimes, I just have to say - "I want you, tonight" and that's enough to rev his engine and get me in trouble if I leave him walking out the door with a woody.
(Naughty me.)
Othertimes, he responds with, "How do you want to play?"
That's so tough for me, cause we are so busy trying to please each other, that I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tell him what he wants to hear or what I really want.
(I'm not one for mind games. Just tell me what you want and I'll do my best to give it to you, but make me guess what you want and I get very, very cranky.)
I've learned to answer with what I want and let him make the decision as to whether or not I receive it.

I like your style Ruby!....Woohoo

A real life Dom I have known online for years gave me the best answer to this sort of thing....ok, best in my view .....he said he and his sub worked it out like this:

--He comes home from work in the mood to scene....he gets her collar and offers it to her wordlessly....if she kneels then that is the sign that it is a good idea with her too and he collars her and the night begins....if she smiles and gives him a soft kiss on the lips and starts asking him about his day, then he knows it's not a good night for her and puts the collar away...no hard feelings (pardon the pun)

--He comes home from work and sees she has put her collar on herself....this is the wordless signal that she is in a submissive mood....if he accepts he tells her to kneel and the evening is on....if he declines he simply goes to her and gives her a soft kiss on the lips and starts discussing their respective days....she then can remove the collar and put it away...again, no hard feelings

In that way, they have a system of communication set up for the evening that relieves the guess work....also if either declines, then after dinner they will sit down and discuss why the offer was declined to help head off possible resentments....often they both have good reasons to decline and when explained it also brings them more up to date on their daily lives

Another Dom had it worked out similar but easier.....If he wanted to scene he would walk in and say something like, "Hello slave"....if she responded with "Welcome home, Master", he knew the BDSM evening was on.....if she responds by using his first name...like, "John what sort of dressing do you want on your salad tonight?" then he knows it's not a good night.....Also, if he comes home and she says, "Welcome home, Master" he could then either say, "Thank you, slave" and the evening is a go, or use her first name instead of calling her slave and......you get the idea I'm sure...lol

~~nibbles~~