What a posting! You just spilled it out all over the place. As MrDom said, very impressive!

This need you have, well, it's not lying to admit your have certain desires. Ruby commented on such. You care for your wife and don't want to hurt her, but you are trying to include her in on your desires. That's important. I hope what you want with her can become part of your relationship.

As for what you seek online, best of all to you in that. There are some wonderful people in this community. I hope you find a grand friendship in there somewhere.

tessa

ps. I can't believe you were inspired by my posts. That's really cool.