I never really was vanilla as well. I remember a time when my sex-life was pretty vanilla (and yes, only pretty -- I always had a tendency to pick at least apparently dominant men) but it always felt like something was missing, or more accurately I couldn't understand what the fuss was all about because sex, really not such a big thing -- the best part about it was to see that I had managed to pleasure my partner. Go figure.![]()
My fantasies have changed, though. Not so much as far as the core of dominance and submission is concerned, but I'd say they've become more realistic and less fantasy-like (no more being abducted by bandits and ending up in the middle of a forest in a, errm, compromising situation). Am I more willing to realise my fantasies? I don't think anything in the willingness has changed (I mean, there are fantasies that are just that, and which we wouldn't want to experience in reality anyway) because I was always pretty willing to experiment. Nowadays, I'm more likely to live them out because I understand them better, though. And yes, I'm on the more 'extreme' page too...which maybe simply comes from the fact that you can't know before you tried
There was a turning point for me, although I can't quite put my finger on it. It was just this huge aha-effect and watching all the pieces fall into place and suddenly make sense. The want I always had had gotten a name, if that makes sense. And, honestly, I'm very happy with the result.![]()