I never really was vanilla as well. I remember a time when my sex-life was pretty vanilla (and yes, only pretty -- I always had a tendency to pick at least apparently dominant men) but it always felt like something was missing, or more accurately I couldn't understand what the fuss was all about because sex, really not such a big thing -- the best part about it was to see that I had managed to pleasure my partner. Go figure.

My fantasies have changed, though. Not so much as far as the core of dominance and submission is concerned, but I'd say they've become more realistic and less fantasy-like (no more being abducted by bandits and ending up in the middle of a forest in a, errm, compromising situation). Am I more willing to realise my fantasies? I don't think anything in the willingness has changed (I mean, there are fantasies that are just that, and which we wouldn't want to experience in reality anyway) because I was always pretty willing to experiment. Nowadays, I'm more likely to live them out because I understand them better, though. And yes, I'm on the more 'extreme' page too...which maybe simply comes from the fact that you can't know before you tried

There was a turning point for me, although I can't quite put my finger on it. It was just this huge aha-effect and watching all the pieces fall into place and suddenly make sense. The want I always had had gotten a name, if that makes sense. And, honestly, I'm very happy with the result.