I liken a D/s relationship to a 'straight' one. How can you possible please your partner unless you know what they want?
There's two roads here, either a Dom/me can please themselves & do what they like with their sub, with no thought of the sub's needs.
Or they can realise that there's two people in the relationship, make that clear to the sub & find out somehow what they want, both in the short term & the long term.
When all is said & done Bis Me, you are in control. You can make it work however you want, if you wish to know what pleases/displeases a sub, it's up to you to find out.
Myself, I do this to bring happiness to my girl- I can't do it unless I know what she wants.
Sounds to me like we're on the same wavelength- all I can say is do it your way, to hell with the rules!

Tojo