Vanilla

[Brosco]

It basically means "not BDSM". I don't like it much either, since it implies that both non-BDSM relationships and vanilla ice cream are bland, and in my experience neither of them are if done right.

I don't see that 'vanilla' implies bland - it just doesn't have the extras that is added to others... and there are plenty of people that don't want the extras, in their icecream or their lifestyle.

[gloombunny]

But vanilla ice cream isn't "lacking extras". It's a distinct flavor in its own right. When it's made properly, at least.

And I feel that this analogy extends into the realm of relationships. D/s isn't some kind of special thing added to a relationship... it's more like just a property which some relationships have and others don't. As I see it.

[bunkerchief]

On many forums on the internet, many times you see the claim that kinksters are more in touch with their sexuality than 'vanilla' people so vanilla is often used as a derogatory term.

I don't think kinksters necessarily are more in touch with their sexuality and I've come across just as much kink outside the sphere of people who label themselves kinksters.

It's a life style term and like all people who like to see themselves as having a different and unique life style, they want to set themselves apart by having their own 'in language'.