Thanks for that Warbaby, sorry I missed the bit about the 'cheating' aspect.

Boy do I understand that. I'm in the exact same situation, with a lovely wife of many years I love very much. She likes to play around a little with the odd rope & occasional touch with a riding crop, but she's just not into it like I am.

I've spent many years with a big part of my life shut off. I get my fulfillment through having online relationships with a couple of girls.

I have a meet planned with a friend- we've seriously lusted after each other for a long time, & want to meet for some D/s fun for a week later this year.

We've agreed that we're both in relationships, we will not have sex, just D/s play & lots of it. It's a hell of a dilemma- I tell my wife I'm going to stay with a friend for a week but not that I'll have her on her knees with her wrists tied behind her back.

So hard to resolve. What is cheating? How true can you be when a part of you wants so much to see daylight?

One of my friends is going through the same agony. Wanting & needing so much to be in a loving caring relationship where all her needs are taken care of at least on an emotional level. Yet is it cheating when you care about someone else? Even if you never meet?

One can have some powerful feelings doing this, or just switch it off & let a part of yourself die.

Myself I feel like I care more for my wife now I have someone to call me 'Master'. Without that I'd be an empty shell.

May you make the right decision for yourself Warbaby. May we all.

Tojo